I had messaged Lo after leaving the Sphere in a daze. The phantom feel of Collin’s lips against mine lingered, and I traced my now bare lips. I had ditched the gown and doused myself in a cold shower, but my skin remained too hot. The feel of Collin’s racing heart beneath my hand where I had clutched him. The flood of disappointment when he had pulled away too soon. The burn of desire that scorched me from the inside out. It all remained. Maybe it always would.
“Em?” Lo prompted again.
“It was good,” I confessed as my hand dropped away from my searing lips and I started toying with the hem of my shirt. “He kissed me.”
Lo squealed and yanked me onto the bed next to her.
“When? How?” Lo demanded, grinning. “Please, please, please tell me it’s better than those diagrams.”
During our Grooming at the Academy, our education had consisted of sterile, often intimidating diagrams and lessons detailing the procreation phase. I had always found it unappealing, even frightening. What I had experienced tonight had been frightening . . . but in a way I had never felt before. The kiss had finished almost as quickly as it had started, and the night had ended immediately, early enough that I could still catch up with Lo before curfew. Yet something had coiled deep in my gut, something endless and unabated.
“Before we left. In front of everyone. And yes, it’s better than the diagrams.” I smiled.
“All the Elite saw?” Lo gushed. “So you’re officially in an agreement, right?”
I held up my left wrist, the sleeve of my nightshirt cascading down my arm. My living quarters filled with a golden glow.
“Why is it gold?” Lo asked, turning my wrist over. “Isn’t it supposed to be silver?”
Usually, a Minor Mate’s MIND turned silver when their Procreation Contract went into effect. Most women hid it from their fellow Defects. It had a way of turning the others in gray against you.
“I think it’s gold because he’s an Illum. That’s what the Starlings said.”
“Emeline,” Lo exclaimed, scooting closer until our knees touched. “An Illum kissed a Minor in front of the Elite. Do you understand what this could mean for the Minors? Surely this has never happened. Maybe more of us will get public Courtings. Maybe fewer of us will go to the Sanctuary!”
“I don’t think it’s that simple,” I said.
“What do you mean?” Lo asked.
I told Lo about seeing Phillip and the Elite in the atrium and the hideous things the Elite had said. “And I met my other two birth brothers tonight. And saw my birth parents.”
Lo’s eyes went wide. “They’re all up there? You’re the only one down here?” Lo inquired, shock radiating from her. “Are you the only Defect in your line?”
I nodded, feeling myself unraveling. Defects didn’t discuss birth parents or siblings. Technically we weren’t permitted to discuss anything with one another and the need for self-preservation made the topic taboo.
Lo shook her head. “I haven’t been able to figure out why you hated the program so much. Well, besides your eyes,” Lo said nonchalantly. “It makes so much sense now.”
The comment was like a physical blow. I smiled tightly at her, not trusting any words that might come out.
“Why were all the Elite on the ground?” Lo asked.
I blew out a breath. “The Elite have to enter the Capitol from the ground right now.”
“Really? Like us?”
“Yeah, there was an issue at the Capitol,” I told her.
Lo sat up straighter. “What kind of issue? Is that why you didn’t hear from Collin for four days?”
“It is. Apparently, some group broke in, and six Elite were killed.” I shuddered at the thought.
Lo’s hands found her hair, mindlessly twisting it. “Did he tell you why?”
“The Starlings didn’t say.” I shook my head, my eyes catching on the scanner by the door. I was surprised to see it blinking yellow. A warning that curfew was approaching. I had scanned my MIND upon my return, but the automated voice never sounded. It had remained quiet. Lo followed my gaze.
“Shit, curfew is about to start. I can’t afford to get into any trouble with tomorrow and all,” Lo said, some of her usual confidence faltering. “You know, my yearly.”
“Oh, Lo, I’m sorry. I completely forgot.”
