Take a long, hot shower and sing at the top of my lungs? Maybe. I don’t have one iota of singing talent, but that won’t stop me.
It only takes a heartbeat to decide to go for it.
I even take extra care to blow my hair dry with a round brush. I’m not a girly-girl by any means, but occasionally, I enjoy primping.
Downstairs, I check the time, realizing that the boys should be home by now. Concern suddenly rolling through me, I peek out the front windows, searching for signs of them, then laugh when I find them sitting on Cynthia and Thelma’s porch. They’ve made friends at school, but I swear they prefer the company of the two elderly neighbors. It’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.
I unlock the door and open it, ensuring the screen door is unlocked too, then search the fridge for dinner ideas.
I’ve just pulled out the ground beef and lettuce when the door creaks open. “I’m making tacos for dinner,” I call out. “Hope that’s okay.”
“Tacos sound fantastic, but I’m not here for dinner.”
I turn at the sound of the female voice, finding Salem, who gives me a sheepish smile. “I knocked, but I don’t think you heard me.”
“I didn’t.” I set the supplies down, then pull a pack of tortillas from the pantry, needing a moment to collect myself.
Salem is genuine and kind, yet her presence—and maybe her beauty—makes me uneasy. Maybe it’s my general lack of trust in people, or maybe it’s because she knows Caleb in a way I don’t yet. She knows him intimately. In a way that drives me insane, since the man is always wandering around the house with no shirt and those slutty sleep pants slung low on his hips. Sleep pants I’m almost certain he doesn’t actually sleep in. Or maybe that’s wishful thinking on my slutty brain’s part.
“Right.” She smiles widely, a ball of sunshine overpowering the rain cloud that’s formed over my head. “I figured I’d pop over and invite you and your brothers to our Halloween party. Has Caleb mentioned it? It’s the Saturday before Halloween. Dressing up is optional but preferred.”
I frown, though I keep my tone even. “He hasn’t said a word.”
Does he not want me to go?It’s hard to picture, knowing him, but why else wouldn’t he invite us?
She plays with the ends of her hair, the move making me think it’s a nervous tick. The same way my mom tapped her fingers against the side of her leg when she was lying to me.
“No, I’m not using again, Halle-girl.”
She was.
“I paid the rent. I don’t know why the landlord dropped off an eviction notice. He must’ve gotten the wrong apartment.”
He hadn’t.
“Maybe he didn’t think you’d be interested and didn’t want you to feel obligated?”
“Is he going?” I ask, the question a little more forceful than I mean for it to be.
She bites her lip, her eyes darting around like she realizes she’s said something she shouldn’t, but it’s too late to backpedal. “I assume so, but he hasn’t given me a straight answer, so please don’t…” She scrunches her lips. “Just forget I said anything, okay? Pretty sure I just threw Caleb under a bus I didn’t even know was there.” She blows out a breath. “I don’t know much about your relationship, whether you guys are serious?—”
“We’re not.” We must not be if he hasn’t bothered to mention a party that, from the sound of things, will be attended by all the people he cares about.
With only three weeks until Halloween, I can’t imagine costumes will be easy to come by. I don’t have the money for costumes, anyway, but I could pull together some pieces from my closet and the thrift store if necessary. But my brothers? That’s a different story. At fourteen, I have no idea whether they’d even want to dress up.
Inhaling deeply, I force the thoughts to settle. There’s a good chance I’m being too sensitive. The man went out of his way to make my birthday special—a birthday I hadn’t even told him about. There’s probably a perfectly reasonable explanation for why he hasn’t mentioned it, yet I’m the one over here jumping to conclusions. Just like always. It’s my fatal flaw, the instinct to immediately distrust a person’s motives. To assume Caleb didn’t want me to know about it in the first place.
Shoulders sagging, I blow out a breath, forcing my toxic thoughts to go with it.
“I’m sorry,” I say. “I’m letting my insecurities get to me.” The moment I voice that truth, I feel surprisingly better. It feels oddly empowering to admit that out loud.
“Insecurities?” She scrunches her nose in the same way Seda’s does when she’s confused. “About what?”
“You,” I admit.
“Me?” she scoffs. “Why?”
“Look at you.” I wave a hand up and down, gesturing to her soft curves and tanned skin, and perfect blond hair. I’m the complete opposite of her. Tall and curvier, dark hair and dark eyes. And though there’s clearly been some hiccups in her past, she’s living what looks like the perfect life. “You just seem like you have it all together.”
