Fuck. I want to whoop and jump for joy, but I don’t want to scare her away.
Instead, I say, “No.” Forcing the single syllable out is painful, but she has to see where I’m coming from.
“No?” She slides her burger away from her, straightening. “Why not? You just said?—”
“Are you attracted to me?” I ask.
“Yes,” she answers, shocking me with her honesty.
“At least we’re on the same page there.”
“Right, so why?—”
I hold up a hand. “For all the reasons I mentioned. You like me? You want to kiss me? Date me? Fuck me?” I’ve never been so forward when it comes to a woman, not even Salem. “Then you make the move. I have to know it’s what you want.”
Her cheeks are crimson now. “Okay.”
“Okay,” I echo.
CHAPTER 12
HALLE
In the two weeks since Caleb and I had lunch at the burger joint, I haven’t stopped thinking about our conversation. We admitted to our mutual attraction, and then he put the ball in my court.
Since then, what have I done about it? A big fat nothing.
Why?
Because I’m scared.
I’ve never met a man like him before, and it’s impossible not to be on the lookout for ulterior motives. It’s ridiculous, really. He’s been nothing but transparent, and he literallyput all the control in my hands.
All my life, men have come and gone, an almost constant rotation of not-so-great guys. Every one of them wanted something from my mom, usually sex or drugs or a place to crash.
While my experience has been wholly different, it’s been pretty minimal. I’ve never had a serious relationship. In high school, I lost my virginity to a guy on the baseball team. Honestly, I just wanted to get it over with. He didn’t care about me, and I certainly didn’t care about him. All my interactions with men have involved sex in some way, so I guess I can’t judge my mom too harshly in that department.
Caleb is different.
Maybe other men use tactics similar to his in an effort to gain a woman’s trust for not so altruistic reasons, but Caleb? This is just the way he is. He’s a giver. He just can’t help himself.
“Stop thinking about this,” I mutter as I shut the computer down at the end of the workday.
Caleb’s been in Boston for the past few nights, but he’ll be back this evening. The fridge was relatively barren when he left, but now it closely resembles a desert. A stop at the grocery store is a must. I want to restock the food the boys and I have eaten, plus I plan to make dinner. I’m sure he’ll be hungry when he gets in.
I shuffle down the hall and pop my head into my brothers’ room. “I’m going to the store. Want to come?”
They both shrug. “Why not,” Casen says.
“You finished your homework, right?”
They nod in unison, wearing innocent expressions. “Show me.”
School started less than two weeks ago, and I’ve already received a call from a teacher. Apparently, they haven’t been turning in work, and more than once, they’ve been caught hanging out on the football bleachers instead of in class.
Clearly, they’re determined to make sure I’m gray-haired before I’m thirty.
Casen slides off the bed and holds out the tablet the school issued him. When I note the tasks checked off in his virtual classroom, I hand it back and pad over to Quinn.
