“Are you serious about this, Kizzie?” Joshua's quiet question brought her attention back to him as he held up the paper.
“More sure than I've been about anything else except Jesus savin’ me.” She rushed ahead. “And it's not only a gift, but an investment too. Into your company and the growth of the town.” Her smile bloomed all over again. “But it's mostly an investment in a real good family with a great big dream.”
And before she knew it, hands pulled her forward. Joshua, Nella, Ruth, and Elias wrapped her in a hug, while Isaac stepped back and patted her arm, looking from person to person as if they were all a little crazy.
What a wonderful moment, after feeling lost and left behind, to enjoy the sweet welcome and love of this family.
“Thank you, Kizzie,” Nella finally said, her eyes bright with uncustomary tears. “Joshua and I will talk about it, for truth.”
“But we can't imagine turnin’ it down,” he added, giving her arm a squeeze.
“I hope you don't.” The gratitude in her chest warmed her all the way through. “I think it's a real good plan.”
Mr. Davis proved as efficient and helpful as ever. Even more than the first time Kizzie had met with him. Maybe it was the fancy dress and hat that made the difference, or maybe Mr. Berry sent a good word, but whatever the reason, his generosity left her with a proper deed in hand and a promise from him to meet her at the Chappells’ at five o'clock to witness the signing.
Only three days after Christmas, Joshua and Nella showed up at the house to accept Kizzie's offer, with a few minor changes related to monthly payments. And now, Kizzie planned to finalize everything and start the new year on a new journey.
Away from Charles Morgan.
And even farther away from home.
On the drive to the Chappells’, Kizzie also prayed for forgiveness for entering Sally's Place in her Christmas dress and hat. Sally had fawned all over Kizzie, asking how she could help a “new lady in town” and inquiring after where she had purchased such an exquisite frock. One of the women who had been in the shop the first time Kizzie was there commented on the delicate embroidery on the sleeves. Kizzie smiled sweetly and told her that she'd gotten it from a new dressmaker in town “who has no qualms about serving formerly kept women.”
Then the women recognized her, and leaving the two of them standing there with their mouths open, Kizzie left the building.
Her heart hadn't been in the right place at all when she'd done that.
And she grinned a little too much at the memory.
But maybe it taught Sally a lesson. Though, after her Bible reading a few days ago, she figured she was supposed to leave those kinds of lessons to God.
Watching Joshua and Nella's joy as they signed the deed and remaining paperwork only secured Kizzie's decision. This was right.
“Kizzie, are you sure about leavin’?” Nella asked after Mr. Davis left and Joshua returned to his work outside. “You know we don't need that house. We can always build us another one on the land we own.” She shook her head as if the idea still waited in dreams.
“I can't, Nella. I know that now.” Kizzie placed a fully fed Charlie over her shoulder and patted his back. “It's not good for me or Charles. I care about him, and the temptation to love on him is hard to deny when he's nearby. He knows what to say and do to get me to give in, no matter how hard I try.”
“Hmm … If a man ain't got no control over his mind, heart, or will, then he ain't nothin’ more than one of them animals out in the woods.” Nella held Kizzie's gaze, her words anchoring Kizzie's decision. “And love brings with it a special power. The power to control certain parts of ourselves, the darker parts, in order to do better by the ones we love, and for our own self-respect. If he cared about you, he'd try.”
“I know. Which is another reason to leave. I didn't see it before, but I know now that he cares more about himself and his status than me and Charlie. But I think he's trapped too, betwixt caring for us and putting his mama at ease. He's tore up inside, and I can help fix things for him this way.”
“You don't mean to come back then?”
“Not with the way things are now.” Kizzie ran a hand over Charlie's soft head. “The only way I'll return is as Charles’ wife or not at all. It can't be no other way, for the good of both our souls.” She shook her head. “We've already got ourselves in a heap of trouble, and with my past as it is, it's gonna be hard enough to start over somewhere new.”
“You got a past.” Nella sighed and squeezed Kizzie's arm. “So do the rest of us. But God ain't so shortsighted to waste your past. Oh no, He'll use it to shape you and your future. Always remember how valuable your soul is.” She touched Kizzie's cheek. “It's so important that the devil tries to steal it and God sent His Son to die for it. You are precious to Him.”
The verses Kizzie had read a little over a week ago flew back to mind.I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine.
“So live your life knowin’ exactly who caught youandwho'll keep you.” Nella's eyes turned glossy. “Ain't no past can take away your belongin’, Kizzie. Find joy in who youreallyare.”
“I'm learning. Slow as cold molasses, but I've been reminding myself every day.” She chuckled. “Sometimes every hour. That I belonged to God first, and He loves me. Forever. No matter where I go. I belong with Him.” Kizzie shrugged her shoulders helplessly. “Which is a good thing, ’cause I ain't quite sure where my next stop'll be.”
“You do belong to God, and that's a fact, but it's good to have a plan too.” Nella took a paper from the table and placed it in Kizzie's hand. “I sent a letter to a lady I used to work for who lives in The Hollows. It's a town a good twenty miles or more east of here, but if you start early, I reckon you could get there by evenin’.” She tapped the paper. “I wrote directions and Mrs. Carter's name there so you'll have it. She's a good lady and will have a room you can rent. She might even have a job for you, but I ain't sure.”
Kizzie folded the paper and pushed it into her pocket before pulling Nella into a hug. “Thank you for that.” She drew back, taking in a steadying breath to keep the tears at bay. “I already packed up the few things I'm taking with me, but it's not much. Enough to fit in a few small trunks on the buggy.”
Nella stepped back and looked Kizzie over. “Well, those ain't travelin’ clothes, but you sure do make a pretty picture of a lady.” She whistled low. “The dress fits nice.”
