I had to watch over her.
Darkness encases me as I ride with my ghosts through memory lane. The frequent sound of the exhaust concentrates me as thoughts swarm my head.
Michael always stood beside me, cheering and warning meabout my ex constantly. He told me she didn’t care for me, and that she was with me only for the lifestyle my job provided. I never wanted the money. I didn’t do it for the fame either. I did it because I loved it, and I still do.
I am a good rider.
Bikes were always my Achilles heel, I couldn’t breathe without them.
Life in the fast lane has its bittersweet moments though. The good outweighs the bad, always. But those faces are always there, riding with me everywhere I go. Their faces are etched into my heart and dust the wind as each mile passes me by.
Loss is such a sickening experience. My head has been in a constant fog and the only thing that pulls me out of it is racing.
The faster I ride, the harder it is to remember when my mind goes blank. The bike and I merge for a minute. Electricity runs through my veins, charging me with adrenaline unlike anything else. When everything blurs around me, I feel so in control. So empowered. Invincible. Until it’s gone again and blackness filters in instead.
It comes in waves and there is no way to stop it.
How was I so lucky and they weren’t?
I know it’s the wrong thing to say. I need to celebrate the fact I’m here despite all those almost horrific accidents I had in the past.
I just can’t.
“Where are you going?” Mom questions as I enter the store tograb some candies.
I shove my hand into a container and grab a handful before I toss it in a bag. “For a ride with the boys.”
“At this hour?”
I round the counter to plant a kiss on her forehead, “We’ll be fine, I need to practice.”
“Who’s going?” I know she won’t drop it until I tell her all the details in case of an emergency.
“Rio, Jay, Kevin, and Michael,” My lips tug upward because she knows they are the only ones I ride with at night.
“Be careful.” She grips my hand and squeezes it once.
I give her another kiss and turn to go but she stops me once more as I face the door.
“Meadow, keep an eye out.”
I grin to myself, staring at our reflection through the glass doors. “Always.”
The road sharpens again as I pull myself out of my train of thought. Every time that I’m on the road could be my last, the same goes for everything else yet it doesn’t paralyze me, it fuels me to see through another day.
After all, I was born in the wrong place but I was meant to be a part of this family along with all the pain that comes with it.
I miss you, brothers.
Blakely
Two braids rest on each of my shoulders while I fix my nose piercing in the mirror. I grab a pair of jeans shorts, a black crop top, and a matching ball cap. I get dressed quickly before I head to the store to meet Milo.
The road is already packed with bikers basking under the rays of light while they chat, smoke, and drink coffee from disposable cups with Milo and Donna’s store logo—an eagle flying under the sun and over desert peaks.
I pet Chaos and Arrow at the entrance before I enter the store.
Donna welcomes me with her wide smile and those big, tender eyes, “Good morning, Blakely. Hope you had a pleasant day yesterday.”
