Fred came out behind the deli counter to try to sort everything out.
“What’s all the commotion about? Mrs. Golden was just in the back ordering some cold cuts with her friend here.”
“Well, herfriendshould keep a better eye on her boy,” Adele cut in.
Fred handed Grace the wrapped deli meat wrapped. “Let’s all try to remain civil.” His voice was measured. “It was actually on my fingertipsto call you.” His eyes met Adele’s. “I saw your Buddy the other day with his friend. They were in the back trying to sneak out a couple beers.”
“I find that hard to believe, Fred. You know my Buddy would never do something like that.”
Fred turned to the cashier. “Tammy, you remember those two boys here the other day trying to nab some Pabst Blue Ribbons?”
“Yes,” she said as she looked down at her fingers. “I do remember something like that.”
“It must have been the other boy, then,” Adele protested. “Anyway, Fred, I need some bologna and cheese. Can you help me with that, please?” She clutched her purse tightly to her side as she walked past Grace and Anh.
“We’ll pay for this and the chocolate bar,” Grace said, stepping up to the counter.
When they got outside, Anh began to apologize.
“He say his father told him before we left … Americans give chocolate bars for free.”
Grace felt a lump in her throat. She had a memory of Jack once telling her about an incident involving a chocolate bar the GIs handed out.
“Here,” she said, handing the candy bar to B?o. “Better eat it before you get in the warm car.” She pinched her fingers together. “Gets too hot, it’ll melt all over your hands.”
CHAPTER 35Allentown, Pennsylvania, 1969
JACK SETTLED INTO THE SOFT SEAT OF THE AIRPLANE AND TRIEDto close his eyes. In five and a half hours, if the trip went as planned, he’d be back in Pennsylvania and greeted by the only woman he now had in his life. Becky. The incident at the airport had unsettled him greatly and even after changing into a fresh set of clothes, he felt the woman’s vitriol still clinging to his skin. She had made him feel dirty, and he hated her for it. As much as he tried to push the incident out of his mind, it felt slick and unctuous, as though she had somehow contaminated him with something ugly.
From the moment he arrived in boot camp, he had been trained to forcibly retaliate against anyone who attacked him. Had a man thrown a drink at him and called him a “baby killer,” he wasn’t sure he wouldn’t have thrown him to the ground and then pounded his face in.
He had never been a fighter before his deployment. But now, as he floated in the skies above his own country, Jack realized that the military had somehow permanently altered him. And while he had initially only felt shock and confusion when the woman accosted him, he since had developed a delayed sense of rage.
“Can I offer you a drink, sir?” The stewardess’s kind voice pulled him back.
He ordered a rum and Coke and let the sweet liquid run through him and soften the steely edges he thought he had left back in Vietnam. He reminded himself that he only had two weeks of leave, and most of that he’d also get to sleep in a warm bed next to his Becky. They’d wake up and eat pancakes with maple syrup, and then they’dgo back to bed. When they finally rose for the day, she’d take him to her school and show him her new life so he’d have something beautiful to take back with him when he returned to his tour.
He didn’t want to think of the other things he’d have to do once he got home, like bury his mother. He still struggled to comprehend that she was actually gone. His mind could easily conjure her sitting in her big comfy chair, the ashtray beside her as she raised one of her Camel cigarettes to her lips. He could easily recall her deep, throaty laugh and the sounds of her puttering around the kitchen late at night when she came home from work. Part of him wondered if he shouldn’t have come back to bury her, because it was easier to pretend she was still alive while he was back in Vietnam, waiting alongside Becky for him to come home.
As he stepped into the arrival hall at the Pittsburgh airport, he spotted her immediately. She was a beacon of white light amid a sea of shadows. Becky stood in the front of the crowd, her brown hair even longer than he recalled and brushed to a perfect shine. She wasn’t wearing scruffy dungarees and T-shirts like so many of the others in the crowd but was dressed in a lawn-green dress with a matching headband. In one hand she clutched a bouquet of white daisies, and in the other, a handwritten sign that saidWelcome Home!
One of the things he loved most about Becky was her stillness. That afternoon, she brought him back to the apartment that she shared with another student off campus, and after he had showered, she pulled him to her bed and kissed him deeply before letting him just hold her.
He breathed her in. He inhaled her sweet fragrance and savored the softness of her skin against his own. She placed her hands on either side of his face and stared a moment before kissing him. “I’m so sorryabout your mother, baby,” she whispered before kissing him again. And it was only then, in the safety of her embrace, did he find himself releasing all the pain he’d tried to push deep down inside him. He wept openly in her arms.
CHAPTER 36Long Island, 1979
WHENGRACE RETURNED HOME FROM HER OUTING WITHANHand B?o that afternoon, she was still shaken by Adele’s behavior. The woman had been so quick to condemn an innocent child whose only mistake was believing what his father had told him.
But he hadn’t even wanted to eat the candy afterward. After she drove them back to Our Lady Queen of Martyrs, she noticed the candy bar was still in the rear seat and left unopened. When she went to take it out, she could feel how soft it was beneath the wrapper.
Her heart sank. Adele had ruined what was meant to be a happy excursion outside the motherhouse.
It had begun on such a positive note. She’d put the radio on, and the station wagon became flooded with the latest tunes of summer. “Music Box Dancer” by Frank Mills filled the air, and she caught sight of B?o smiling in the rearview window. As they stepped into Kepler’s, Anh stopped in front of the fruit section. Pyramids of peaches and plums were laid out in front. Plastic baskets of strawberries were arranged on a long wooden table, as well as other fruits in season. Anh reached out and picked up a mango and lifted it to her face. She took two deep breaths and inhaled, searching for its rich fragrance.
“Not ripe,” Anh had simply said as she smiled at Grace. The two of them had then walked toward the deli counter, the first step in getting Anh to use her English with a stranger.
They were in the middle of ordering when the commotion with B?o began.
