Lost in thought, I let him work on my busted-up knuckles until he’s satisfied with his handiwork. “There. All set. But you should probably ice it and take some ibuprofen or something. It’s swollen so fuckin’ bad.” He wets his lips. “You werethatmad, huh?”
I grimace, partly because my hand hurts like fuck, but also partly because I’m embarrassed. “Frustrated, I guess. Not thinking straight. It was late. Or early. Whatever.” I squeeze my eyes shut, rubbing them as it occurs to me that with everything going on, I haven’t told anyone about the invitation we’d gotten last night. “Fuck. In the midst of all this, I forgot…” I let my words trail off, all the bullshit this weekend could bring piles up like a precarious house of cards.
Archer’s lips quirk into a confused smile. “Forgot what?”
I groan, running my uninjured hand through my hair. “Those bastards over at Bainbridge Hall have extended an invitation to their annual event tomorrow night. You know they’re the type to be offended if we don’t show. It’s not worth ruining our reputation.” Not that I’d ever stray from tradition without a really damn good reason for doing so, anyway.
“Fuck. Just what we need right now with all this other shit happening.”
My thoughts exactly.
FOURTEEN
CANNON
I groan,rolling over. I’m an asshole. Last night rushes to the forefront of my mind, the memories assaulting me in glaringly bright detail. The glorious feeling of finally putting my cock inside Elliot’s tight pussy—that was fucking amazing, but I hadn’t expected to feel so damn connected with her on an emotional level. She draws out a more tender side of me I hadn’t known existed. But what sent me spinning was the way she’d told me to be myself, like she wanted all of me, my raw desperation. My obsessive need to claim her.Jesus Christ.I’d practically lost my mind. I was so gone that her fuckin’ name had ripped from my lips when I shot my load inside her.
But then came the awareness that she was no longer curled up next to me. I opened the bathroom door to find her reading the label on my medication. Time stopped, then tripped into fast-forward. Without thinking, I hit her. Slapped her hand so hard, I know it had to have stung. Pills flew everywhere. I’d been a crazed lunatic, completely out of my head, heaving and grunting like a raging, dangerous animal. What the fuck is wrong with me?
The gigantic ball of humiliation wedged in my throat is difficult to swallow around. I stand, pausing for a moment when a bout of light-headedness hits me.Nope. Don’t like that at all.I force myself to sit back down and take some careful breaths. I’m way too stressed out. Not getting enough sleep. And I’m becoming more and more anxious that I’m going to pay for it. And soon.
I screw my eyeballs shut for a moment, willing myself to calm down. The rage I’d flown into last night… do I blame it on the medication’s side effects? Or was I simply being a supreme asshole? I never wanted Elliot to know about my diagnosis, and it’d freaked me out big-time to open that door and find her checking out my prescription medications.
Fucking idiot.How did I expect to hide my patheticness from her? She’s too smart. And now she’s got the name of the medication I’ve been taking twice a day for a while now. Under the guidance of my doctor, we’d steadily increased the dosage. I’m at the amount he thinks will work for me. I hope he’s right because we’ve been through so many. I avoided this one for a long time because of some of the side effects.
Shit. I’m certain she saw all the cast-offs that my doctor prescribed. They make me look like a drug addict. I should get rid of them. They weren’t doing the job, so I have no fucking clue why I’ve held onto them.
Elliot’s going to fucking research with that big science brain of hers. And then she’ll know… if she doesn’t already. I bite down on my lip, taking in huge, ragged gulps of air. Despair washes over me. In the last couple days, I’d started thinking maybe, in time, I’d talk to her about it. But this—this is not how I wanted it to go.
The only thing that makes sense to me right now is to get out of here. Go pound the pavement for a while so I can think. I promised Kingston I would stay home and take it easy, but when exercise is like a way of life, resting doesn’t make me feel better.
Ignoring the slightly off-kilter way I feel, I get up and hurriedly pull on athletic shorts, socks, and running shoes before brushing my teeth.
With a sigh, I pick up the orange prescription bottle. My hand shakes. I turn around, realizing for the first time that the little peach-colored tablets are no longer all over the floor where they’d landed last night. I set the bottle down, leaning forward onto my hands on the counter before stretching backward, dropping my head between my arms. I close my eyes and imagine a naked Elliot on the floor, crawling around on hands and knees to pick up every last one.
I groan, grinding my teeth. After a few moments of self-pity, I straighten up and take my goddamn medication, followed by a handful of vitamins.
Downstairs, Kingston and Archer look up from their breakfast as I enter the kitchen. Both eye me warily. I wish I had a reason to call them out for it, but fuck. I don’t. Blood surges into my cheeks, heating them from the inside out. I stop at the kitchen island across from them, gripping the granite with my hands.
Inhaling deeply, I look them each square in the eye. “Sorry,” I rasp.
Kingston nods, his lips pressed together. “But you’re still not going to confide in her, are you?” He thinks I should tell Elliot everything. Get shit out in the open.
Well, fuckin’ forgive me if I’m not ready to do that. I give a sharp jerk of my head, my jaw going rigid.
Kingston holds his hands up. “It’s only my opinion. You’re going to do what you want, like always. And we’ll back you up. It’s fine.”
From beside him, Archer smirks, “And everyone knows opinions are like assholes. Everyone has one.” His eyes scan my face, and from the way he catches his lip between his teeth and his face falls, I can tell he realizes I’m not up for jokes this morning. “Hey, bro. We know shit happens. But I do think she deserves an apology. You were unnecessarily harsh.”
My teeth grind together. He was the one to take care of her last night. I draw my phone from my pocket.
She upset?
When their phones simultaneously buzz on the counter, Archer glances at his before responding. “She was rocked pretty hard by your reaction. Understands that she upset you. Feels bad that she looked at your stuff in the first place.” He shrugs.
I can tell by his slightly standoffish attitude that he’s torn, wanting to support me, but he also was able to talk things through one-on-one with Elliot, so he has insight Kingston and I don’t have.
Where is she?
