She was the master at insinuating things without actually coming right out and saying them, and it drove him psychotic sometimes.
“What about my friends?” Ken’s voice was short of a snarl, but only just, and it was then that he realized that he had lost the fight. His temper was getting the best of him again, just as it seemed to do every time he spoke to his mother. No one could trigger him, could press his buttons, like she did.
“You know. Theirlifestyle,” she spoke the word a little bit less delicately this time, with an emphasis on the second word that made Ken see red behind his closed eyelids. “Not appropriate for a fourteen-year-old boy to be around. Not really appropriate for you to be around either, Kenny, but you know how I feel about that already.”
Yes. Yes, of course, he knew. How could he not? She had never made it a secret, after all.
“Mom. I’m gay,” he said and heard her shocked gasp at the bluntness of his statement. Which only pissed him off more. This wasn’t news to her, or shouldn’t be, anyway. “I came out to you when I was younger than Mason is now. Stop trying to pretend …”
“I don’t want to hear it.” She spoke with finality, and Ken fought back a growl. It was a near thing, though. “But I know Liam is a good boy, and I suppose it’s better for Mason to stay with family, especially if Liam is around to watch over him.”
What she meant, Ken knew, was that Liam would act as some sort of magical anti-gay force field, she hoped. Liam with his girlfriend that he’d been seeing for two years now. Straight, acceptable Liam.
There was a beep on the line, alerting Ken that there was another call coming in, and Ken leaped on it and clung to it with both arms and legs figuratively wrapped tightly around it. This was how he could get away from this conversation, which was going how all of his conversations with his mother went, but he had an escape now.
“Mom, there’s a call on the other line.” Ken didn’t even care who it was. Let it be a telemarketer, for all he cared. “I gotta go. It could be work.”
All he got in response to that was a disdainful sniff. She wasn’t going to lower herself, that sniff said, clear as day, to speaking about Ken’s job. She did her best to pretend that he didn’t work for a queer boy band, and in general, Ken was sure that she did a pretty good job. She was definitely a pro at ignoring the things she didn’t like.
“Okay, then I’ll tell Liam and Mason they can stay with you,” she decided, and Ken rolled his eyes. He didn’t actually remember saying that he was okay with that, but she had apparently managed it as far as she was concerned.
“Mom …” he started, not even sure what he was going to say next. But she interrupted him before he could get more than that one word out.
“You’d better go, darling. Your other call. I’ll talk to you later,” she paused, and then, with her voice ringing with special significance that Ken didn’t exactly need a UN translator to figure out, she spoke again. “Remember that I’m thinking about you. Praying for you.”
Praying for him.That had been her reaction when he’d told her that he was gay, that she would pray for him to see the error of his ways. Well, that had been nearly ten years ago, so Ken had to hope that she wasn’t also holding her breath as well as praying. She would pass right out because Ken would never be anything but what he was.
Before he could say anything, she’d disconnected the call, but it was too late. He’d already missed the other call, and when he looked at his phone to see who it was, he softly groaned when he saw Lester’s name.
He’d missed a call from his boss. Lester tended not to like that. Rubbing his fingers into his temples hard enough that it actually hurt, though not more than the headache which was starting to form there, Ken called him back.
* * *
The shower was not something that could be skipped, not with how much he’d been sweating, so Ken dashed through it as fast as he could and threw on the first clothes that came to hand and seemed at least relatively clean. He was out the door in record time, but the shower hadn’t been instant, and he knew that he was going to be late.
Lester wasn’t going to be happy, but then, he hardly would have been happy if Ken had shown up still stinky from his run. There was really no way to win with this one, and Ken groaned as he raced into the building. The parking lot had been full, on top of everything else, so he’d had to find another place to park, which had only delayed him more.
As he ran into the building, covered in sweat once more from his mad dash through the late spring sun, he gave a cry of denial when he saw that the elevator doors were already closing. Putting on a burst of speed, he flung himself at it and just barely made it. His t-shirt almost got caught in the closing doors, but he was in.
In, and off balance. In, and unable to stop his speed in time. He tried to throw on the brakes, but he had been going too fast for that to be an instant process, and he didn’t even really see the man until he was plowing into him, knocking them both to the floor, Ken sprawled on top of the stranger.
No, not a stranger. He knew this man, though he wasn’t sure if that made the whole thing better or worse. A complete stranger might have sued or something, but this man knew him and could tell everyone, if he wanted to, just how much of an ass he’d made of himself.
Not that Justin was well known for talking much. His words mostly came out through his songs, and Justin himself tended to be quiet, speaking only when necessary. So Ken was probably safe, though he still felt like a world class asshole for pretty much assaulting the guy.
“Sorry,” he admitted, and he struggled to push his body up off of Justin’s. But just then, the elevator gave a little lurch, made an odd whining sound, and then started to rise, knocking Ken off balance all over again.
His eyes met Justin’s, and for some reason, it was like there wasn’t enough air in the elevator. Ken had been winded, had had the air knocked from his lungs, more than a few times. No one who was as active as he was could avoid that. But that usually involved some sort of sharp blow. Had the impact of their bodies meeting been enough to do it?
Justin’s eyes were gray. Not blue, like Darien’s or Aaron’s, but the color of steel, the color of the storm clouds which came in off of the Pacific sometimes. This close, Ken could see that the other man had light freckles sprinkled over his nose and cheeks and that his lips were full and pouty and surprisingly sensual and that the intensity which Justin gave off was even stronger once Ken was close to him.
Justin didn’t move, and for a moment or two, Ken didn’t, either. They just looked at each other, and Ken became aware not only of Justin’s eyes but of the way he felt under him. His body was slender but harder than Ken would have expected. More muscle tone.
In short, Justin was hot. How had Ken never noticed? Of course, he would never be able to do anything about it, because Justin was also at least ten years older than Ken, but that didn’t change the fact that he was a handsome man, almost beautiful, though in a completely masculine way.
Ken should move. He was still straddling Justin’s hips, and the position was the most intimate one that Ken had been in for far too long. His body was going to get the completely wrong idea, was, in fact, already doing so, but just when Ken was once more pushing himself off of Justin, that’s when all hell seemed to break loose.
The elevator lurched once more and stopped, but the doors didn’t slide open. Instead, the lights went out, leaving them in complete darkness, and the elevator didn’t so much as budge.
He was locked in here, with this strangely awkward, intense moment with a beautiful man. He was late, and it seemed likely that Justin was, too, and all Ken could really think about was the way Justin’s body tensed under his. And the nearly overwhelming desire that Ken had to wrap his arms around him and hold him close and comfort him, protect him from what was going on which had obviously freaked him out more than a little.
What was even going on with Ken these days? Was he that desperate to be touched that he was willing to seek it out from anyone? It was ridiculous, Justin was far too old from him, but that didn’t change what Ken found himself wanting.
Ridiculous. Laughable. Like Justin would probably literally laugh at him if he knew, but the front of Ken’s pants were getting uncomfortably tight as all the blood rushed there all at once.
