Penny’s creamy skin paled to nearly white. ‘You’ve gone mad.’
Liam continued as it was too late now to turn back. ‘Dreadfully serious, I’m afraid. With all the servants enjoying their own revelries below, and your face hidden. No one would know. You would just be another lady of the beau monde enjoying a masked ball.’
‘Why?’
It was a simple question. With a very complicated answer.
Because watching you fall apart was the singular most erotic experience of my life. Because you make me forget, and you make me remember. Because for just one moment, I want to know what it feels like to hold you in my arms in front of the whole world, as if I have the right. As if we belong together. As if you are for me, and I am for you, and the rest doesn’t matter.
‘Because I want to dance with you, Penny.’ Not the total truth, but all he could admit. ‘On the ballroom floor. In front of the entire beau monde. I want to hold you in my arms and swirl you around with the music playing and look into your eyes and finally enjoy myself at one of these bloody things. Is that too much to ask?’
‘Yes. It is.’
The risk exploded in his face, shattering the fragile fantasy he’d conjured.
Liam looked at his feet because he couldn’t bear to see her face harden against him. ‘Ah. Well.’
Stupid fool of a man with a silly idea.
She moved forward, her tears evaporating in the heat of her temper. ‘Don’t you understand? You’re asking too much.’
‘I’m only asking you to dance. With me.’
Penny shook her head. ‘No. You aren’t. You’re asking me to risk all I’ve worked for. If I were discovered… I would lose everything. I could be thrown in prison for such a breach of conduct, or worse. A maid does not impersonate a lady. Society would never forgive such a transgression.’
The fire of her anger leaped over the distance between them and sparked Liam’s ire. ‘You deserve a night of revelry. I watch you work from dawn until well past dusk for a pittance and I hate it. Just once, I want you to feel as pampered and precious as these silly women who haven’t experienced an ounce of hardship.’
‘Life doesn’t work that way, Liam. Those ladies you so badly want me to emulate would never allow it.’
‘Well, I allow it. And I would defend you to the death should anyone threaten you. For any reason, and most especially for a reason as ridiculous as this. What difference is there between you and Lady Drake? Nothing except the circumstances of your birth. The Queen creates titles for her favoured citizens whohave no more claim to it than you, or Molly, or Mrs Harding. What value is there in a baron, marquess or duke besides that which the beau monde decrees?’
‘You are trying to have a philosophical debate. I am being realistic, my lord. Society operates on rules that we all agree to follow. Our hierarchy is one of those rules.’
‘Well, it’s a stupid rule.’ Liam wanted to kick something. The wall looked like a worthy target. ‘You are more deserving of a night of frivolous pleasure than any ridiculous lord or lady of the beau monde.’
Penny’s lips twitched, but she didn’t grace him with her smile. ‘Perhaps. But unlike a certain marquess I know with excessive finances, I can’t afford to break the rules. The risk of defying the lords and ladies of the Queen’s court, even if they are ridiculous, is too great.’
Liam forced a dry laugh. ‘I thought you fearless, Penny.’
‘Only when fighting blackguards in dark alleys. Under the glittering candlelight of a ballroom? In front of the entire beau monde? I’m a total meater.’
Meeting her gaze, Liam saw the fear glimmering there. Such a foreign emotion from his fierce maid. ‘No. You are many things, but never a coward.’
‘I am.’ Liam hated the defeat in her voice. ‘Don’t you see? It’s impossible. I can’t even dance. I would take one step on that ballroom floor, and everyone would know I don’t belong. My domain is below-stairs. Yours is above. I scrub the floor. I don’t dance upon it.’
You belong next to me.
He was the coward. Because he wasn’t brave enough to say the words aloud. No matter how powerfully his heart beat for Penny, how constant she was in his thoughts, how desperately he wanted her. Not just in his bed, but in his life.
‘You can dance upon my feet.’ He took a step closer, catching her hand in his and squeezing her fingers. ‘I don’t think you are afraid of discovery. I think you fear yourself. You fear acknowledging your own worth in front of so many who are above you in station and below you in value. You told me once your ideas are worthy, butyoudon’t believe you are worthy. And that is a lie.’
‘What do you know about lies, Liam?’
‘More than I wish to admit. But I also know something about truth. And valour. And courage. And I know you hold all of these values, Penny. This is a risk for you, yes. But trust me, I have been to a million masques. The lords and ladies will be so deep in their cups, so determined to toss aside their inhibitions because they believe their masks somehow grant them anonymity, they won’t notice anything beyond their own revelries.’ It was possible. He knew it.
She inhaled, holding her breath and Liam wanted to shout in triumph. A clear sign she was considering his proposal. Perhaps she just needed some time. He could give her that.
He leaned forward, brushing a kiss against her temple, not above using his physical appeal to sway her. ‘The ball is two nights hence. A dress will be waiting in the marchioness’ suite. If you change your mind, all you need do is slip into the room, put on the dress, and join me below. If you don’t, I understand. But never doubt. You are brave, and strong, and so very worthy of everything this world has to offer, including whatever you wish to take from me.’
