Every time she imagined Lord Killian seeing her like this, her belly dissolved into a thousand butterflies. It shouldn’t matter what he thought. This whole courting business was a load of tripe. He knew it. She knew it. But how did she get her stomach to understand and stop flipping around like an eel caught in a bucket?
Hannah returned her attention to Philippa. ‘I wasn’t frowning at Betty. It’s this evening. And the expense you went to on my dress. Silver is such an incredibly dear colour, Philippa.’
‘Yes, so very close to grey, which I know you prefer.’ Philippa smiled.
Hannah rolled her eyes, though she couldn’t help noting how the material sparkled in the candlelight. ‘I will enjoy knowing I didn’t follow Lord Killian’s order. But this gown has far too much material in the skirt and not nearly enough anywhere else. I mean, look at these.’ She gestured to her chest. The dress was cut in a low scoop neck, exposing Hannah’s shoulders and a generous amount of her modest cleavage. ‘Not to mention these sleeves. I can’t lift my arms higher than my shoulders.’ She picked up the knife and tried to swipe it in a diagonal slash. The sleeves of her gown cut into her limbs, constricting her movement. ‘What am I supposed to do if someone attacks me? I might as well tie myself up and save them some time. I mean, really.’
Philippa’s rich laugh was low and melodic. ‘You aren’t usuallyprone to such histrionics. What’s the matter, Hannah? Nervous about spending an evening on the arm of Lieutenant General Killian?’
Huffing out a breath, Hannah reached into the specially designed pocket to deposit her weapon with one hand, while she fingered one of the jewels dangling from her ear with the other. ‘Please. I’m worried about losing one of these earrings. They are actual diamonds, Philippa.’
‘I know. They’re mine.’
She must sound like a petulant child to the duchess. ‘I’m sorry. Thank you for lending them to me. They are stunning. I’m just not used to…’
‘Showing your beauty? No. You’ve always been more comfortable hiding behind your dowdy disguise.’
‘By fading into the background I’m free to go anywhere, hear everything.’ And no one noticed her. She didn’t have to worry about anyone looking beneath the surface at what lurked in her depths. Nothing good lived in those dark waters. There were no boundaries she wouldn’t cross to protect those she loved, even if her efforts failed to save them. She was almost as monstrous as the men she hunted.
‘Are you sure that’s the only reason you like to be invisible?’
Hannah caught Philippa’s piercing gaze in the mirror. Hannah swallowed the words that almost escaped. Words of fear. Words of shame. Ten years wasn’t long enough to forget what happened the night the baron had noticed Hannah. That evening ended in bloodshed and death. Hannah had failed her mother. She was supposed to be her mother’s champion, but she hadn’t stopped the baron from murdering Cynthia Simmons. Failures didn’t deserve to wear priceless baubles and dress in fine frippery.
Stokes knocked on the door and pushed it open. ‘The Duke ofCovington has arrived. He is waiting in the entry.’ His gaze scanned over Philippa and stalled on Hannah.
‘Have you forgotten something, Stokes? Like how to blink?’ Philippa raised an imperious eyebrow at her butler.
Stokes cleared his throat. ‘No, Your Grace. Miss Simmons, you look quite ready for a ball.’
‘I don’t think she needs your help ascertaining her readiness, Stokes. Tell the duke we shall be down in a moment.’
‘Yes, Your Grace. Although I’m happy to make him wait if you need more time to ready yourself.’
Philippa blinked slowly as everyone in the room held their breath. ‘I’m quite prepared for the evening, Stokes.’
‘Of course, Your Grace. I hadn’t realised the newer fashions were quite so garish.’ He clipped his heels together and spun, exiting with a noticeable spring in his step.
‘Dreadful man! Betty, let me know if you hear of any butlers looking for a new position. We might have a vacancy.’
Betty looked horrified at the entire exchange. Hannah turned to the maid. ‘Thank you so much. You’ve done a marvellous job.’
Betty nodded, her white cap bobbing frantically. ‘You do look ever so lovely. And you, madam. Breathtaking, I assure you. I hope you have a wonderful time.’ She dipped a curtsey to Hannah, then Philippa before scurrying out the door.
‘That girl can’t stand up to the mice in the cupboards.’ Philippa shook her head, black hair shining in the candlelight. In contrast to the silver of Hannah’s dress, Philippa was draped in hues of midnight and crimson, enhancing the blush of her cheeks and the blood-red stain on her lips.
‘I can’t remember ever being so sweet. Can you?’ The binding of Hannah’s corset tightened as she took a shallow breath. Melancholy settled over her like a shadow in the flame.
‘You are going to be wonderful tonight. You will dazzle theduke, but you will also blend into the pomp and frippery of the beau monde. I think you’ll find when one is surrounded by jewels, even a diamond can fade into the background, Hannah. Come. The duke is waiting.’ For any other woman, Philippa’s words would sound like an insult. But for Hannah, it was a message of hope.
She stood, feeling the weight of her skirts as she followed Philippa to the door.
The duke might be waiting, but Hannah wasn’t sure she was ready.
She held her head high and took slow, measured steps down the wide staircase, the rustle of her skirts sounding like leaves in the wind.
He was watching her. She didn’t have to look at him to know. The burn of his stare heated her exposed skin. She couldn’t meet his gaze. Not yet. She would lose her nerve. Instead, she stared at the train of Philippa’s gown.
Hannah reached the bottom of the stairs and he was waiting, his white-gloved hand extended. Finally, she raised her head, looking into Lord Killian’s eyes.
