Oh, God.
I was having visions about going down on Julia while my boss was in the room. I tried for a smile, but gave up and just shook my head. “I’m fine, Phil. What can I do for you?”
As soon as he flashed those shark teeth, I knew whatever he came to my office for would be some BS that would further sink my mood.
“I just wanted to confirm that the board plans to meet between Christmas and New Year’s to decide on a few things.” He sounded elated, which confirmed that he was up to no good, again. “Duke and I will push hard on rolling back the foundation expenses, at least temporarily.” I wondered what it took to get a person to be this soulless. “You know, until the IPO is done.”
From that creepy-as-fuck smile he was flashing me, I knew this was no temporary anything. Once that foundation funding was gone, it was never coming back.
I almost said something, but I kept my mouth shut. I did not need to antagonize this jackass.
“I don’t know what that has to do with me, Phil. I don’t have a vote with the board.”
With his dumbass grin still on his face, Phil went to close the door to my office and sauntered back to my desk.
“You have more than a vote—the board is waiting on your say on how to proceed. Davidson’s was hired to give us a green light for the IPO and I am counting on you to deliver it to the board.”
I swallowed hard, because I didn’t know if I could live with myself knowing it would probably mean giving up so much of what made Sturm’s great, not that this asshole cared.
“The Twins have the romantic idea that the Sturm’s mission is to cater to the wealthy in order to give back to the community. And that bleeding-heart shit may work when you’re a family operation, but when we go public that just won’t cut it.”
I made sure I blinked, but it was hard.
Phil knew very well I’d taken all this into consideration for my report to the board, but that wasn’t enough. He wanted me to be his and Duke’s mouthpiece.
The foundation’s programs deserved the financial support; there was no doubt in my mind that the bonuses for executives was where the cuts needed to come from. It wasn’t even about Julia and her job either. It was about doing the right thing, and that knowledge put me in a very difficult position. I glanced at Phil, who was standing in my office in his four-thousand-dollar suit, and I really wanted to throat punch him.
I thought about how much I’d worked for the last five years, the extra hours, the sacrifices I’d made, so that I could get a shot at a promotion. All of that was riding on this one job. If I went against Phil and recommended they continue to fund the social justice programs, the IPO would be in jeopardy, and in Phil’s mind I’d basically fail to accomplish what I’d come to Dallas to do. He would not be happy, and he would let my boss know.
I felt a chill run through my body, thinking about the consequences of me going against this asshole. He had a predatory smile on his lips as we stood there in silence. We both knew what was at stake for me.
I wanted to be reckless and tell him I was going to tell the board to do the right thing, but I couldn’t do that. The impotence I felt in that moment was strong enough to make me want to sob. I thought of Julia’s excitement whenever she told me of some new thing they were doing in the program or her joy at one of the kids hitting a milestone. Of all the things they were doing to help the community. You couldn’t put a number on that; I knew the difference a person caring about my future had made in my life. Phil couldn’t care less about any of that.
My phone buzzed on my desk and it finally broke the stare-off Phil and I had been in for the past few minutes.
It was from my sister.
Can’t wait until I see you. I can’t promise Mom and Dad are going to behave, but Blue and I missed you so much!
I grabbed the phone as I looked at Phil. “I’m sorry, I have to take this. Have a good holiday.”
He nodded and left without saying a word. We both knew this had not been a courtesy call, and I was too fucking tired to pretend. When I tapped on the screen, I saw Sofia had added a photo.
There was a picture of Blue in her little cowboy boots and holding a sign that said “I love you, Uncle Rocco.”
I closed my eyes and felt the tension gripping my skull. What was I going to do? If I went against Phil, even if it was the right thing to do, I’d seriously jeopardize my plans. If I did what Phil wanted, I’d have a hand in shutting down a program that helped a lot of people probably for good.
I felt desperate and helpless, and the only thing I wanted was Julia. I grabbed my jacket, my duffel, and the carry-on I’d brought to the office as I headed out. I was planning to be there for three nights. A short trip, but with my family, it was more than enough.
As I got into my car and headed to the airport, I thought about where my life had been when I got to Dallas and where it was now. I’d left New York content to focus on my sister, keeping my own life and happiness on hold.
Now, as I drove through familiar streets, headed to the East Coast, Dallas felt more like home than New York had felt in a very long time. This place had become comforting in ways that no place had ever been. I loved New York, but I’d always felt a little lost there, like I could disappear and it would take days, maybe weeks, for anyone to notice. Here I would be missed. The twins, the Exiles, Julia—they would notice I was gone within hours, they’d miss me, they’d look for me, and if necessary they’d take care of me.
A call from Julia came in through the Bluetooth, tearing me away from my thoughts.
“Muñeca. Como estas?” I smiled as I called her baby doll, which in Spanish was a term of endearment. She grumbled on the phone, and I laughed. She always complained when I called her that, yet she never failed to melt in my arms, even as she griped.
“One of these days, I’m going to forbid you from calling me that. I hate you for making me like it.”
