Alba shook her head again. “Yes, you are the same person, and that person’s always been amazing. You and Matt had a lot of ups and downs, time apart, time together, and you fought for that relationship. It didn’t work out, but that doesn’t mean you can’t trust yourself or that you’re stuck.”
I wanted to believe her, but this whole situation had me wanting to mope and feel sorry for my clueless self. “I guess, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that I should not be trying to date Rocco.”
Alba didn’t look too happy with my conclusion, but she acquiesced. “No one said ‘date,’ but if being with the guy feels right, get you some.”
I was about to backpedal and deny some more when my phone buzzed and I saw it was a call from Rocco. Butterflies all over, goose bumps. Shivers. Yeah, I totally had this handled.
“Albita, uh, looks like Rocco’s calling me.”
More finger snapping. “Oooh, friend. He wants something withyou.”
“Bye!”
I picked up the call and my hands were shaking a little. “Hey.”
“Julia.” Why did he have to say my name like that? I wasn’t the answer to any boy’s prayers. “I know you’ve been busy this week.”
Not really, just avoiding you, because when I see you I want to jump you.
“Yeah, it’s been intense. We’ve hired more therapists and ramped up the support groups for parents.”
“That’s great, Julia.”
He clearly had called to say something, but was having a hard time getting it out. Sweet Baby Jesus, please let this not be a call to tell me I made him feel weird with the almost kiss and light sniffing.
“I was thinking of grilling at my place this weekend, and was wondering if you’d like to come.”
Say no, Julia. Say no, no, no. No.
“You have a grill?”
That’s not no!
He cleared his throat at my comment and my non-decline of his invitation seemed to rally his spirits, because the sex voice came on the phone in full force. “I do. It’s a condo but my place has a little patio with a hot tub and grill. I’ve never had anything nearly as nice. It seems like a shame to waste it.”
RIP, no.
“Oh. That sounds great. Thanks for thinking of me.” I needed reinforcements for this. “Did you invite the rest of the GEC?”
More throat clearing and when he talked, I had to cross and uncross my legs. “I wanted to ask you first. I didn’t want to put you on the spot if I asked in the chat.”
He didn’t have to say it was because the two of us were on a nonstop flight to fucking.
“Umm.” I should’ve been really conflicted, really thinking hard on how this shit was bad news. Instead I was running through my bathing suit inventory and wondering if I could still get the black Prada bikini I’d seen on the floor last week.
“I’m pretty flexible this weekend. José and I had talked about brunch, but if you’re inviting him too I’m sure he’ll want to do that instead.”
He let out a long exhale and I wondered again how much it meant for Rocco to have people he could make some burgers for on a Saturday afternoon.
“Okay, I’ll ask them on the chat. I’ll see you soon, Julia. Sleep well.”
There was no chance of that now, and because I needed a witness for my self-destruction in three acts, I texted Alba.
Julia: He invited me over to his place Saturday. He’s grilling. We won’t be alone.
I got four eggplant emojis and a peach.
Julia: You’re supposed to be my best friend.
