There was no use in him explaining what he meant. From the moment he entered the kingdom, she could feel his presence. Not just in the air around them, but in her heart. She could look at him and understand what he felt, could see the truth in his eyes. She felt every single word before he even said them. It was an undeniable connection, one that was not easily explained by attraction. It was so much more than that.
Of course, he drove her insane and she was never quite sure what to think about their dynamic. Hell, he'd nearly thrown himself from the balcony to get away. And while he said it was for a good reason, it made no sense that he would be here now—that his circumstances had changed this quickly. Unless he just simply did not care anymore.
"What are your intentions with me, Aziel?" She was still breathless, still lost in the delicate circles his fingers made on the sharp curve of her hip bone.
His gaze shifted from his fingers, back to her face. It was the most peaceful emotion she'd seen on him since she met him, even the small smile he wore was not quite as sinister as it was before. "I need more time." He said, finally, but the words did not soothe her confused mind. It only made her stomach sink with fear and disappointment.
"More time?" She pulled away slowly, already feeling around for something to cover herself with. Aziel was moving as well, releasing a frustrated sigh as she slipped off of the bed.
"I can assure you that whatever you may be thinking is not what I am implying." He tried.
Nymiria only rolled her eyes, snatching her shift from where it'd been discarded on the floor. "I'm not daft, Aziel. If you say that you need more time, then I will give it to you."
"What are your intentions withme, then?" Aziel retorted, adjusting himself back into his breeches. "What is it that you want out of this?"
What did she want?
Nymiria pulled the shift over her head, blinking as the question moved through her mind repeatedly. "I'm not sure." She shrugged. "But perhaps, I thought that—"
"That we could be together?" Aziel hummed. "At this point in both of our lives, you know that is not possible. There's still much to do."
She whirled on him, eyes as sharp as daggers as she looked at him and all of his frustrating beauty. His moods and feelings seemed to change with the tides, ever changing, and varying in wickedness. "I don't want to be just another girl that you bend over a billiards table in the game room." She hissed, jabbing her finger between two inky branches on the center of his chest. "That'swhat I am thinking."
"She was laid across the table, not bent over it."
Releasing an exasperated scream into the room, Nymiria turned on her heel and headed for the door. She didn't know where Trio would be, but she knew that he liked to be close. She needed to get the hell out of that palace. Away from him—away from all of the confusing thoughts and emotions that were currently holding her captive.
"Forgive me." Fingers closed around her wrist, and Aziel gently tugged her to a stop. "I shouldn't have said that. I'm still learning."
"What—how totalkto people?" She yanked her arm free from his grasp. "I didn't need the dirty details. Not when I'm expressing to you something that is bothering me."
Aziel grumbled something under his breath, his hand moving to his hair and tugging at it out of frustration. "Well, I was not aware of that. I've never…" He sighed, eyes closing as he tossed his head back. He was uncomfortable.Good. "I've never cared about these things before."
"What things?"
He straightened his posture, eyes opening and peering at her with an air of hopelessness. "People. Women. You. Usually, I just fuck and flee."
Nymiria scoffed and turned again, stomping through the dining room until she reached the door that led to the hall. Aziel was right on her heels, but she didn't dare give him the satisfaction of seeing her emotions. Not when she wasn't even quite sure what to make of them, herself.
"Sometimes I just wonder if you become angryjustto be angry at something, Nymiria. Because if you were listening to me, you'd have understood that I was trying to tell you that Icarefor you." That brought her to a stop. She could hear that Aziel was breathing heavily behind her, as if he was feeling the same fear and confusion that she did. "You aren't just some woman that I would bend overanything. You aren't someone that I will empty myself into and never speak to again. You… youmeansomething to me."
"You're just saying that." She sighed.
He shook his head, hand curling into a fist as he watched her fold her arms over her chest. "I'm not. But I do needtime, Nymiria. And I need you totrust me."
She stared at the door, her fingers digging into her biceps in a desperate attempt to keep her grounded. She knew that them being together would ruin many plans and put many people at risk. She knew that her own pathetic little heart was still too scared of love to even begin to welcome it again. Sometimes. Other times she believed that love was what she craved the most in the world.
Nymiriaknewall of these things. And knowing that she meant something tohim…good gods, the way she looked at him would never be the same again.
What a disaster that would be.
Being in her mind was tiring. Being herself was tiring. Aziel was right—she did get angryjustto be angry, but it was not for the reason he believed. It was her only defense. It was all she had left that could help guard her heart.
"I'm ready to go back." She muttered.
Ten Years Ago
The night passed slowly. And while he was thankful that Camalia hadn’t requested him for the evening, there was a part of him that worried about why she hadn’t. He believed that she’d perhaps gone back on their deal. That Nymiria would be sent to the camps. Or worse—killed.She’d promised to keep Nymiria safe, keep her identity hidden and to not allow her to fall victim to the men in this palace.
