“You’re going to say no.” Through his tears Golden’s glare is hot white.
I grasp for restraint, or anything to hold back this incoming wave. “You’ve gone through a lot. Why don’t we rest?”
“No!” Golden pulls himself from my grasp.
Our distance could be measured in inches, yet the divide gapes wider and wider, taking Golden further away from me. But rather his anger for the rest of our life and give me—us—more time.
“If you turn me into a vampire, Lucero, I’ll be strong. Like you.”
“I thought you died, Golden!” The words come out in a stream of despairing longing. Carved and scooped out from the broken depth of my heart. “Did you see what you looked like? Bleeding, burnt! Must I watch another soulmate die so soon after I’ve just found you?”
Golden looks away, but I grab his face and make him look at me.
“Yes, a stab to the heart is bad, but you need to completely destroy a vampire’s heart to kill it, and even then an old vampire can heal from that wound. But you? There is a list of things that could take you from me.”
His eyebrows dip, eyes miserable, face too pale. “Then turn me.”
“So you can leave me now?!” I shout, voice brittle and pathetic, but to save his life I’ll do anything. Be anything. “My brother Cristóbal died screaming, Golden. Becoming a vampire isn’t easy. It hurts, italwayshurts and the transformation can kill you! The pain can kill you!”
Golden pulls himself away and glowers, eyes wet. “You think I’m weak.”
“I’mweak!” I grab my chest, wishing I could tear out my heart so he could see the truth of my broken parts. “I’m weak, Golden! Me!”
His breathing stutters.
“To me no one is worth more than you, and the things I’d do to keep you safe would terrify you.”
In the quiet after my confession, my breathing rips in and out like a chainsaw. I have exposed Golden to the ugly, desperate side of myself, something I’ve never done with anyone. Not even my other soulmates.
And isn’t it obvious to him why? Surely it was to the others since not once did they ever ask to be turned. So how could Golden ever love a wretched thing like myself?
The softest lips brush across mine and I’m startled to complete stillness.
“Lucero, do you think if you try to turn me I’ll die as a punishment?” Golden asks gently.
“I think…” Can I admit a truth I’ve kept hidden all these hundreds of years, am I strong enough? My gaze searches hislovely hazel eyes and there is a strength there. One that says… ‘lean on me’.
I’ve faced countless blood mages, fought in wars and battled monsters, held my own brother and three soulmates as they died. But this boy who I’ve loved for a handful of days scares me more than anything.
Will he love me fully? Can I open my heart, and hope what he sees is worthy?
‘Lean on me’ his eyes say
Actually, no. Not my Golden.
‘Lean on me’ he demands.
“I think…you’ll be taken from me, by fate or…” I suck in a breath. “To protect you. How am I allowed to be near someone so pure? So…precious.”
His palms cup my face, and I lean into his offer of comfort with the hopefulness of a prisoner given the chance of redemption.
“Lucero.” On Golden’s lips my name is something tender and meant to be loved, not a thing my brother once screamed as he begged for an end. “I ain’t any of that stuff.”
I tilt into the heart of his palm and press my lips there, slow and careful and memorising each line. “You are everything.”
Golden’s nimble fingers curl up into my hair, cradling my crown, and lays my head on his shoulder, as if to lend me a place to rest when I had none.
“Did you know Lucero means ‘light’?” His soothing voice surrounds me, a healing hand to a wound that never closed. Did he find it there, when he was trying to stop the bleeding? “I looked it up on my phone. Well, that’s what you are. You’re my light. So...stop it. Yeah, our souls are connected and blah blah mythical bullshit blah blah. But ya know, we’re just two people who fell in love. Really fast admittedly.”
