“Me being in these trials was a death sentence from the beginning.” He shrugged. “Semmena just waited to make it official to give us hope.”
“I’m not going to let you just throw tomorrow’s trial, Cas. I…” Sol dragged her hands through her unbound hair. “I don’t want to win if it means you don’t survive.”
“Don’t start getting attached to me, Princess. I promise nothing good comes from it.”
“Cas—”
“You need to survive, Sol.” His voice lowered, “That’s it. No argument.”
Sol stood. “Just because you don’t care about yourself doesn’t mean others can’t, Casimir.”
“You don’t know the reason I do things.”
“You’re right,” Sol seethed. “I don’t. But I do know we both deserve to live.”
He leaned back on his elbows, then angled his head toward her, starlight in his eyes. “You should learn sooner rather than later that not all human life is worth saving.”
“And why don’t you qualify?” Her face burned as he stood, never breaking her gaze.
“Sol, why are we arguing about this?”
Sol sighed and tilted her head to the sky, wondering if the moon somehow took pleasure in seeing them bicker beneath its shine. “I just hate the discourse that I’m somehow more important than you. I’m not.”
“The whole point of your existence is your increased value. You risked yourself during the Fire Trial for people who, in the end, don’t matter. That sort of thinking is going to get the kingdom burned to the ground and get you killed.”
Sol scoffed. “My thinking is going to save lives.”
“Likely the wrong ones.”
“Then perhaps it’s a good thing you’re no longer a Prince, huh? You don’t have to burden yourself with choosing who the right ones are.”
His expression change was subtle, quick—but heavy enough to make Sol instantly regret her words.
Slowly, Cas stood. “So, tell me, then.” He faced her, hands swirling with static. “If you were given the choice to save your mother or save the world, which would you choose? Which one is the right choice?”
They looked at each other in silence, Sol refusing to admit the sentence made her falter in her resolve.
“Exactly,” he smirked. “Obviously, the answer is the world. But when you’re in that situation, Sol, when the people you love are in front of you and you have to choose to walk away for the greater good, that’s when discipline over this matters.”
Sol swallowed the ache at the reminder her mother had, in fact, chosen her and not the world and that was the reason they all suffered. Sol couldn’t deny she would have done the same. She couldn’t deny she would’ve given a thousand lives if it meant seeing her mother again, hearing her laugh, feeling her soft smile against her forehead after a day at Leo’s farm.
Sol made to turn away, to hide the tears that spilled. “You will not shame me for choosing those I love in moments of urgency, Casimir.”
“Of course not. But when those you love stand in the way ofsomething greater, you need to pick your side. Quickly. You say all lives matter, so make unbiased decisions.” He strode past her. “I can guarantee if it had been Cattya and Ezra instead of Jonah and Phil, you wouldn’t have gone through the trouble to save them.”
She looked at the ground, knowing her silence was answer enough.
“And that’s fine, Sol. That’s what I’m trying to say. Save the people who matter when you can. But it will never be always, especially with your position.” His words echoed in her mind as she watched him go. She continued to stare at the place he disappeared from.
A humid breeze rolled through her hair, and Sol had the sinking feeling the Prince of Shadows might have a terrible point.
However, she didn’t care.
“Cas!”
Sol sprinted into the Villa, the frayed remains of her blouse swaying around her as she stepped into the darkness. It was so achingly lonely, and although she had managed to save Jonah and Phil, the victory was bitter in light of the other lives lost.
Sure, Sol wanted to be right and keep her pride in front of Cas, but what she wanted more was comfort. To not be left to her own devices, to be told it would be okay even if it was a lie.
