I laugh and slap his chest. “No, Castellani. My mom changed my name to Carter. She won’t even call me Nate anymore.”
“Which one do you prefer?” His face is so close to mine. I could count the freckles spread across his nose and cheeks if he let me.
“I prefer whatever you call me.”
He presses his forehead against mine. “Told you, you’re gonna kill me.”
“I love you.”
He squeezes his eyes shut. “You shouldn’t.”
“Well, I do, so deal with it. You don’t have to say it back, I-”
“Fuck, Nate.” He stands up, his body is so beautiful. The S-shape his hips make, the V-shape leading into his groin. His erection has softened into a semi. I want to change that.
“You know I fucking love you. Always have. Stop teasing me with what I shouldn’t want,” he says.
Everything inside me fizzles at his admission. I reach for his hand and take in a shuddery breath when he gives it to me.
“You have me, I’m here. There’s no getting rid of me this time.”
He looks down at me like he’s seeing me for thefirst time.
He pulls me up and puts his arms around me, holding me tight. I rest my head on his shoulder and let him stroke my back.
“Promise me something?”
“Anything.”
“You’re so stupid for a smart guy. You don’t even know what you’re agreeing to.”
I laugh.
“Promise me that if this thing between us starts to mess up what you’ve got here and at school and everything—your future—you’ll tell me so I can walk away.”
“Evan-”
“No. No excuses, that’s my condition. If you promise me that, I promise I’ll go with it. I’ll just fucking enjoy whatever this is, for as long as you want it. But I can only do that if I know I’m not ruining your life.”
“Evan, of course you’re not ruining my-”
“Nate,” he says in a warning tone.
I take a deep breath, inhaling the mild scent of fresh sweat on his skin.
“I’ll promise on one condition,” I say.
“You don’t get to negotiate here.”
“It’s just a small thing, I promise.”
He hesitates before answering. “Okay, what is it?”
“I’ll tell you if you’re ruining my life, if you come back to bed with me and let me make you come.”
He snorts. “Jesus, Nate, you’ve got a one-track mind.”
I shrug. “That’s my condition.”
