“That’s actually impressive.”
“I thought you’d think it’s stupid.”
“I do. But if you’re gonna be a part of something stupid, might as well be the vice president of it.”
I punch him in the arm and he laughs.
Another episode ofBob’s Burgersstarts playing and I settle in to watch it, just enjoying having Evan here by my side. But something uneasy won’t settle inside me.
“I confrontedBryce today.”
He freezes with his hand over the pizza box. “Nate, I don’t want you to-”
“I needed answers.”
He brings his hand back into his body. “What did he say?”
“He was just looking after his interests. He didn’t really care who was in the wrong so long as his reputation wasn’t damaged.”
“Sounds about right.”
“Evan, am I really stupid?”
He frowns. “No.”
“I feel like I’ve been the most oblivious person on the planet these past few years and now I’m just opening my eyes.”
“What do you mean?”
I think about Ben. About Bryce. I can’t tell him about Ben, that’s his private business.
“Just everything with you and Bryce and my mom. I feel like I’ve been walking around in a bubble, not seeing things how they really are.”
He looks up at me through his fair lashes and I can’t stop myself from stroking his face. He closes his eyes and presses against my palm and I feel it all shuck away. All the stress and uncertainty. Evan was always the one person I could rely on. How could I fuck it up so badly?
He eats more of the pizza, takes his shoes off, and puts his feet up on the coffee table full of coffee table books about architecture and modern art.
I watch him from the corner of my eye. Admiring the way he looks in his sweatpants and white t-shirt. The shape of his feet in socks. I haven’t really gotten to admire him when we’ve been together before, on the dark beach or squashed up in my car. I imagine him on my bed, hoveringover me. The St. Christopher he’s worn since we were kids dangling over my face.
When the next episode finishes, I ask him if he wants a tour of the house.
I’m embarrassed by most of it and try to make fun of everything. Like Mom’s waterfall island counter and Bryce’s stupid fish tank.
“What’s down there?” Evan asks when I pass the door to the basement.
“A pool.”
“Seriously?”
I rub my neck. “Stupid, right?”
“Show me.”
I open the door and lead him down the stairs. They’re not rickety like the kind we had in my old house. I was always scared of that basement. The boiler that made a weird, moaning noise. The rats you’d hear scurrying as soon as you turned the light on.
This basement is bright and white and free of rats and moaning boilers. Just the hum of the pool cleaner or filter or whatever keeps the pool warm and clean.
Lights under the surface bathe the pool in a greenish hue. Evan blinks at everything like he’s just stepped into Wonderland.
