“Who is it?”
I try to keep the smile off my face when I answer. “Just Nate.”
“Is he coming over?” Stacie asks, perking up.
I swear to god if he upsets her, I’m gonna kill him.
“No, he’s got school stuff, I’m gonna meet him later.”
“Aww, why don’t you bring him here?”
“Yeah,” Ma says. “Bring him to dinner.”
I don’t wanna bring him to dinner. I want him to fuck me again in the woods, before it gets weird, before he changes his mind and decides he’s done experimenting.I’m on edge the way I was when I first started meeting strangers online. That new addiction, making you feel good, before it starts making you feel like shit. Making you ashamed of yourself for being so desperate. Like eating too much cake. It’s good at first, and then suddenly you’re stuffed and feel sick. Nate’s still that first bite right now. The one that makes you ask why you don’t eat cake for every meal.
The phone starts ringing, Nate’s name flashing up on the screen. Stacie’s hand shoots across the table and she grabs it before I can stop her. Those fucking hockey reflexes.
“Hi, Nate, it’s Stacie.”
I can hear Nate’s voice through the phone and it makes the pit of my stomach tingle. Remembering his voice by my ear last night. Breathing hard while he pumped his cock in and out of my ass. Saying my name over and over as he came.
Stacie gets up from the table and starts telling him about hockey and school and some friend he’s probably never met. He must keep asking her questions, because she’s talking like it’s a two-way conversation.
“Mom says you should come to dinner tonight.”
My heart races as she waits for an answer. Her face lights up and she gives Ma a thumbs up.
“About seven okay?” she asks.
Fuck, she sounds so mature right now. My chest gets tight watching her. A couple of days ago, she couldn’t stop crying over Dad. Now she’s excited about something again, smiling, moving on. And it’s because of Nate.
She puts the phone down and slides it across the table to me.
“You just hung up? How’d you know I didn’t wanna talk to him?”
She shrugs. “He’s coming over at seven, you can talk tohim then. He said he’s got a mixer at the frat house though, so he can’t stay.”
I meetthe guys on the boardwalk. They’re pissed off because I don’t have any weed and when I call my guy, he’s not picking up.
It’s one of those days, walking around, looking for people, not finding anything. I’m actually relieved we don’t find him. I don’t wanna turn up stoned tonight for dinner with Nate and my family.
The guys go into a liquor store and come out with a bottle of vodka. When we go down to the beach to drink it, the tide’s out and the sand seems to go on forever. I have to push out any thoughts of Nate, naked against the wall of showers, kissing him and making him come.
It’s still light out, the sun red as it starts to set on the horizon. The guys don’t even look at it, don’t seem to notice as they pass the bottle around. I try to just take tiny sips when it’s passed my way.
“What’s wrong with you tonight, man?” Adam asks. He’s in one of those moods, like he wants to terrorize someone. Usually the target’s Paddy. He’s small and kind of an idiot. But sometimes he’s too much of an easy target. And when I don’t have anything to offer, I’m just as disposable to him as Paddy is.
“I’ve got dinner with my ma and sister tonight.”
They all laugh, like that’s the cringiest thing they’ve ever heard.
“Oh, dinner with mommy, got it.” Adam nods, staring at me as he takes his next swig. He shoves the vodka bottle against my chest and tells me to drink.
I take a swig and pass it to Paddy. He’lldo whatever Adam tells him to, but only if he gets what’s going on. Right now, he looks buzzed and completely oblivious.
“Come on, let’s go to the arcade.”
We get out of there. I’m desperate to leave. I’ll stay for another half hour then go home, drink some coffee and take a cold shower to sober myself up.
