“Uh, yeah, ‘course.”
“Good man.” He slaps me on the shoulder.
“If you don’t feel up to it … ” Mira starts.
I bite my lip to stop myself from telling her to mind her own business. She stopped having to look out for me when she dumped me for someone I thought was a friend.
“Why? What’s happened?” Ben asks. He looks so sincere, I can’t be mad at him for asking.
“Nothing. Just the father of an old friend died.” I’m getting so sick of saying it. But maybe it’ll lose its bite the more I do?
“Oh my god, man, I’m so sorry.”
Ben puts his hand on my arm and gives it a little squeeze. Little pink blotches appear on his cheeks and helets it drop.
“Thanks, but it’s fine, honestly. He’d been sick for a long time.”
“Exactly,” Priestley says. “Everyone stop babying him.”
I am notready for this party tonight. I take a quick nap and shower to try and give myself an energy boost.
Maybe I can get drunk and forget that entire phone call with my mom? But, even if I do, when I wake up tomorrow, it’ll still be the same. There’s only so long you can stick your head in the sand before something bites your ass. I’m pretty sure Joe Flannigan taught me that saying, though I could be wrongly attributing it to him now because he’s on my mind.
He taught me a lot of things, though. Like how to change a bike wheel and the oil in your car. Before he got sick, Joe was a normal guy, going to work, spending time with his family, going to the bar occasionally with the guys and getting drunk. Then he got sick and we watched him turn into a shadow. He stopped leaving the house and got hooked up to a respirator. Had a lung removed. Was in and out of the hospital for a while until they realized there was nothing more they could do for him and he chose to receive hospice at home.
I’ve tried not to think about what Evan was like during all this. We’d stopped hanging out shortly after my mom met Bryce. And before that, we were so young. I doubt I had the emotional maturity to even understand how Evan might have been feeling.
People are already drinkingwhen I come downstairs.Priestley spots me walking past the living room and puts his arm around my shoulders, leading me into the kitchen.
“Listen, if you’re not feeling up to tonight-”
I cut him off. “I’m fine.”
“Good.” He gives my shoulder a squeeze. “Because I really need my VP at these things. People expect to see our faces at events, it’s part of our roles as leaders of this fraternity.”
“I know. Don’t worry, I’m here, and I’m fine.”
“Good.” He gives my shoulder another squeeze before letting me go. “Have a drink, we’re going to have some fun tonight.”
‘Fun’ isn’t exactly the word I’d choose to describe a forced party when you’re feeling like shit, but I can pretend. It isn’t like I haven’t been practicing for years.
I grab a drink,just so I have something to hold, and paint on a fake smile for all the people Priestley introduces me to.
As soon as I can, I find a place to hide, slipping into the utility room on the ground floor and find Ben doing the same thing.
“You avoiding everyone too?”
Ben jumps at the sound of my voice. His wide eyes relax when he sees it’s only me.
“Man, you scared me! I thought it was Priestley come to chew me out.”
“Don’t worry about him,” I say. But Ben doesn’t look convinced.
“Why are you hiding out in here?”
“Why areyou, Mr. Vice President?” He grins before a blush spreads over his cheeks and he lowershis eyes.
I take a sip of my watery beer and wince. “I’m just not really in the mood for a party tonight, you know?”
