Priestley slaps me on the back and I snap out of it.
“You ready for this, Carter?”
I nod, force myself to smile.
After Ben and Miles win the first doubles point, it’s time for Priestley and me to go out there and do our thing. I’m a little tight at first, but luckily, Priestley carries us until I can loosen up and get into a rhythm. When it’s my turn to serve, I take a deep breath and allow the sounds of the court to wash over me. Birds chirping in nearby trees. My teammates’ tennis shoes shuffling on the hardcourtwhile they anxiously await the ball toss. And then the bounce of the ball, the rush of air as I bring the racket down.
I serve an ace, winning a genuine smile from Priestley. He pulls me in as we slap hands.
“You had me nervous for a second there, Carter.”
I swallow and force the smile to remain on my face. “Don’t worry, I was just warming up.”
We win our doubles point and end up thrashing Harvard in a shut-out. Even Priestley is in a good enough mood to agree to drinks at the student bar to celebrate.
We’re two beers in when my phone buzzes with a call.
I take it out of my pocket to see who it is, expecting my mom or Bryce. When I see the name on the screen, my heart lurches into my throat.
I rush outside to answer it.
“Hello? Evan?”
“I’m at the beach,” he says before hanging up.
10
EVAN
Iwait for another wave before I walk into the sea. The water’s so cold when it washes over me, it takes my breath away, makes it feel like I’ll never be able to catch my breath again, just for a second.
Everything is blank as the water consumes me. It roars in my ears and I gulp in water and start to choke.
My lungs burn and my legs carry me out of the water.
“Yo man, what are you doing out there?” Adam shouts from the shore.
“You’re a crazy motherfucker.” Paddy laughs.
I shake myself dry, making sure to splash Paddy in the face.
“Why are we sitting round here, anyway?” Adam asks.
“You guys wanna get high?”
Adam bites his lip. Paddy’s eyes light up. Corey looks up from where he’d been drawing lines in the sand with a stick.
We go into the woods to smoke, not coming out until it’s dark. The moon hides behind a sky full of dark clouds. I shiver in my t-shirt. The weed hasn’t done enough to numb me.
The guys laugh at stupid shit. Push each other into strangers on the boardwalk who are too scared of them to say shit.
A couple walk towards us arm-in-arm, the woman leaning in to say something in the guy’s ear. My stomach drops and I feel like pushing them. Feel like tearing something apart.
We duck into an arcade and I put some coins in the punchbag machine and have at it, taking my frustration out on that instead of someone’s face.
I don’t wanna think. I can’t.
What the fuck did Nate think he was doing telling me that shit?
