“Don’t worry.” Adam pats my shoulder before looping his arm around my neck. “We won’t let you down. You need to relax man. Doesn’t he need to relax?”
Corey and Paddy nod.
I can barely keep my eyes open when we go down under the boardwalk to smoke. The stress of the day shucking off my shoulders as the weed takes effect. Making me want to curl up and go to sleep.
“Our working boy,” Paddy says, patting me on the back. They all laugh. “You don’t need the job anymore. Why don’t you just quit? It’s not like you have to pay your dad’s med bills anymore-”
“Shut the fuck up, idiot.” Adam clips him on the back of his head.
“Shit. Sorry, man.”
“Forget it.”
It doesn’t bother me, him talking like that. Plus, he’s wrong. Just because we don’t have medical bills to pay doesn’t mean we don’t have bills. Taking loans out was stupid. Loans aren’t medical expenses. But we thought we could pay them. We thought we could avoidbankruptcy. Living without credit isn’t easy when you make minimum wage. I knew we’d need a payment plan for the funeral. I was trying to plan ahead. But we can still pay everything off, if I just try harder. If I stop smoking what I’m supposed to sell.
My ma’s in bed when I get home. She’s left me a sandwich under a paper towel in the kitchen with a note saying ‘eat something before bed.’
I demolish it standing up, still wearing my boots and coat.
5
NATHAN
I’ve lived in this big fraternity house for years now. I almost stopped looking at it, like really looking at it, until recently. Being back in my old neighborhood makes the smallest things stand out now. Like the fact we have our own library with walls and walls of leather-bound books. Or a chandelier in the entranceway. Things that Priestley Rosenthal wouldn’t bat an eye at, but things the child me would have found ridiculous.
After another meeting, I head toward the front door, getting stopped by about five different brothers on my way out. I have to smile and talk to them like I’m not in a rush.
After chipping away at Evan’s resolve last time, I made a vow to keep trying to break through with him. The first step was staying up late last night to finish a paper for my economics class so I’d have time to go to his place after our weekly Philanthropy committee meeting.
Second step is actually gettingEvan to let me in again.
After I park the car at the bottom of the driveway,making sure not to block Evan’s mom in, I take a deep breath and knock.
Theresa opens the door in her work uniform. She looks so grateful to see me, I feel like the worst person on earth. What would she think if she knew I was the reason Evan and I got arrested back then? That it was my stupid mistake that made him fuck up? That he was only there because I called him to help me clean up my mess? Would she be smiling at me then?
“Come in, Evan’s still asleep, but he should be up soon.”
“Oh … I can come back some other time.”
She’s already turning, heading back into the kitchen. “Come on in, have some coffee. I was just about to put some on before work.”
I follow her through the house to the kitchen, still freaked out by how familiar the layout is to my own childhood home.
“How’s your mom, Nate?”
She talks with her back to me, filling the old coffee maker they’ve had forever.
“She’s good, thanks.”
My stomach flips at the sound of footsteps on the stairs. Evan’s probably going to be pissed that I’m in his house. When I turn around, he still looks half asleep in the doorway in a pair of grey sweats with no shirt on. The gold St. Christopher I remember him wearing when we were kids dangling between his collarbones. My mouth waters and I turn away.
“Hey, you’re up. Coffee’s on,” Theresa says. She doesn’t seem fazed that he’s half dressed. Of course she isn’t fazed. She’s his mom. She sees him like that all the time. But I haven’t seen him without a shirt since we were kids, and he looked a lot different back then.
He rubs his eyes before frowning at me. “What are you doing here?”
“Evan!” Theresa flashes me an apologetic smile.
“I didn’t know you’d still be asleep,” I explain.
