“Burn it down!”
Brandon: “And what do we rise from?”
“The fucking ashes!”
I slide in just in time to catch my line: “Let’s make them feel it!”
And then, all together: “ONE. TWO. FUCK IT UP!”
The lights hit. The roar of the crowd is deafening in a way it never has been before. I give Mia one last look before stepping into the chaos.
See you after?I mouth.
Always, she replies, blowing me a kiss.
Then I’m in it.
The storm.
The light.
The noise.
Leaving my fears behind in the dark.
Chapter thirty-five
"Bad Nature" - Nerv
Mia
Grayson makes it through the whole show by himself. I’d been waiting for his anxiety to take over, for him to motion for me to join him, but he never did. He’d been electric onstage, like something had snapped into place the second the lights hit him.
The vibe backstage is just as intense. Jake is practically levitating with pride, ranting in half-sentences about the crowd’senergy and the syndication. He’s so amped up he even breaks his clipboard.
“Okay,” he mutters, holding both pieces in stunned silence. “That was my favorite one.”
Rylee has taken my place out in the crowd to take photos at the recommendation of the tour team—something about being concerned for my safety outside of the backstage area and the media booth. Because of that, Johanna and I have been stationed side-stage the entire time, jumping around like teenagers, screaming the lyrics and gripping each other’s arms whenever the crowd loses their minds. It’s like magic, and easily the best show of the tour.
When the final note rings out and the crowd roars one last time, a tap on my shoulder takes my attention away from the moment.
“Miss Alexander, you’re needed at the media booth,” one of the stage managers tells me.
“It can’t wait?” I ask with exasperation, wanting nothing more than to bask in the post-show glow with Grayson and catch him coming off stage.
“Something about someone missing a key shot?” he insists. “I’m sorry—they said it was urgent.”
I sigh and hand Johanna my headset, ready to rip the head off of whichever stupid intern thought thatnowis the best time to play tag team with the media crew. I want to see Grayson’s face, the one he saves for after the lights cut out and the adrenaline is fading. I want to tell him how proud of him I am. How I’ve never seen him so magnetic and so completely himself.
But I don’t get that moment.
By the time I reached the media booth, whatever issue there was had been resolved. The headlining band’s team is already setting up and my crew is nowhere to be found. Furious, I turn around and storm back through the chaos backstage. I hate thatI’m not the first person he sees coming down from the show. I’d promised him I would be.
I focus on regaining my composure as if I hadn’t just been ready to deck an unsuspecting intern and finally make it back to the dressing room door.
“Hey, rockstar! I—”
There’s nothing that could’ve prepared me for what I see when I come through the door.
