Page 69 of Nobody's Girl

She sighed, sitting down at her desk, then started as she realized Penn Black was sitting on her couch, his dark eyes hooded and angry.

“What the fuck was that?”

Tamara took out a cigarette. “What did it look like, darling? You know what kind of club this is.”

“And you know you are my sub. I say when my dick gets sucked, not you.”

“Oh, get off your high horse. This is my club, my rules.”

“That wasn’t our agreement.”

Tamara relented. “Okay, fine. But, Penn, I thought we had moved past that.” She got up and went to him, her face softening, her voice a seductive whisper. “You and I…”

She pressed her lips to his, was grateful and relived that he didn’t draw away. “You and I are beyond all this…I’m sorry about earlier, I should have remembered that.”

Penn’s eyes were a little less hostile. “Are we? Or are we kidding ourselves? We’ve never even seen each other outside one of these clubs.”

Tamara felt stung. “Yes, we have…I came to your apartment, remember? After your sister had been killed?”

Penn frowned. “What?”

Tamara realized her mistake. Fuck. “I mean, after she died, sorry, I misspoke. I came to your apartment, remember?”

Penn was still frowning and Tamara cursed silently. Stupid, stupid…still, he wouldn’t suspect in a million years that she would have killed his sister…would he?

Penn cleared his throat and shook his head. “Sorry, it’s still raw. Of course, I remember now. But, Tamara…are we anything?”

“You told me you loved me.” Damn it, why did her voice shake?

“And I do…I think. I just don’t know what love looks like for me. I mean, I’ve had relationships, yes, but recently, I was shown what true love, real trust really is and I wonder if I’m capable of giving that to you.”

Tamara got up. “So, it’s the old ‘It’s not you, it’s me’ kiss off?”

Penn grabbed her hand and pulled her onto his lap. “I’m not kissing anything off. I’m trying to be honest with you and that alone, is new for me. I’m traying to talk to you so that we can figure out a way to be with each other without hurting each other.”

Tamara relaxed a little. “What do you want from me?”

Penn was silent for a while. “If I asked you to be mine…I’d want to know you were truly mine. No other men. Not even clients. Not fucking, anyway. I know how much you enjoy domination…and that’s fine. Look, I do not want to tell you what to do, Tamara, I’m just saying…we stay faithful if at all possible. I’m a grown-up, I know there will be temptations, I’m just asking you to be honest with me if you slip.”

“And you’ll be honest with me?”

“You have my word.”

Tamara studied him. She knew, without doubt, that she loved him…but would he be enough for her. No more clients, no more Grant…well, she could trust Grant to be discreet enough that she could keep fucking him, but did she really want to? “How about we give it a try? Say a month. If neither of us slips or wants out in that month…then we call it a relationship and move things along. If not, we shake hands and stay friends with benefits?”

Penn nodded. “I can do that.”

Tamara smiled at him. “Then I think this is going to be amazing, Penn Black.”

“Me too, darling.”

Grant didn’t seem bothered when she told him there would be no more sex between them. “Fine. Although if you’re really going for this no cheating thing, it puts paid to you screwing Sofia before I kill her, but hey, I think that was just my fantasy.”

“I think it was. Listen, Penn and I are grown-ups and he knows what I do for a living. I’m saying no other men – or women -for me, for at least this month. If he can stay faithful too, then I’m in. And that’s where you can help?”

“I can?”