She lowers her forehead onto my bare shoulder and sighs. “But I did not realize there were other choices I could make.” She shivers.
Cursing under my breath, I ignore the pain in my side as I straddle the log, and then I pull her close, tucking her legs over mine and wrapping my arms around her beneath the blanket. “You should really go inside,” I murmur, not meaning a word of it as I pull her into my chest. I’m keeping her warm. That’s it.
Freya nuzzles closer. “This is far better.”
I curse again as desire rolls through me. It’s a good thing her face is in my neck, or I would already be kissing her. “Saying things like that is going to get me into trouble, Princess,” I growl.
“Iama princess, yes. I can say whatever I would like.”
“And I’m a bodyguard who should really keep his mouth shut instead of saying…” The words stick in my throat. Probably for the best. I was vulnerable enough as it was before I fell asleep, and the later the night gets, the more exposed I feel.
But Freya lifts her head, her bright blue eyes boring into mine. “Saying what, Elliot?”
I shake my head. It shouldn’t be this hard, but it is. “I’m not the kind of guy who regularly shares his feelings, Rapunzel.”
“It may come as a shock, but neither am I.” Chuckling, she reaches up and brushes her fingers along my jaw. “You and Derek are more similar than you may realize, keeping things to yourself the way you do, but you are safe here, Elliot. With me. I will never treat your feelings lightly.”
“Being a king sounds terrifying.” The admission slips from my tongue so easily, but it’s a big one. With a lot of implications I can’t take back now that they’re out there, like the fact that I have consideredmarriagewith this woman even though that’s completely insane.
Not to mention impossible.
With her hand still touching my face, Freya bites her lip—taunting me—before she says, “Can I let you in on a secret?”
I nod, my eyes locked on her mouth.
“Being a queen sounds terrifying too.”
“What?” Thoroughly distracted, I meet her gaze and find her eyes welling up with tears. The sight sends a sharp pain straight to my chest. I’m already embracing her, so I rub my hand up and down her arm in the hope that I can give her some kind of comfort. “But you’ve always wanted—”
“To be queen,” she finishes with a tiny nod. “Since I was a little girl, I have wanted nothing else so badly. I knew it would be difficult, but it never frightened me. Until recently.”
I curse, increasing the speed of my rubbing. “You were shot at. That would scare anyone.”
“Yes, but I was not talking about that. There will always be risks, but I am surrounded by the best of men who will do everything they can to keep me safe. What frightens me is you.”
My hand freezes. “Me?”
“Yes.” Her fingers run along my jaw one more time before sliding down my neck to my chest, lower and lower until she hovers over the gauze taped to my side. “I worried I had lost you, Elliot, and I pictured a world where you did not exist anymore. A world where I became queen and married a stranger and lived out my days in bare contentment, lacking anything resembling happiness.
“I am afraid that if I take the throne, that mediocrity I imagined will be my future because, beyond the laws making it impossible, I can neveraskyou to take up the mantle with me. I can never force you into a life you are not prepared for.”
I can’t resist anymore. Tilting her chin up with my finger, I press my lips to hers and close my eyes, losing myself in the sensation of the kiss. This woman is sogood. Everything she does is to the benefit of everyone but herself, and I am in awe of her.
And I can’t get enough of kissing her.
Even though I hold back, contenting myself with a closed-mouth kiss unlike the one last night, it still sets my heart racing. I lean moreinto Freya, but it’s not long before my wound starts to ache sharply. Groaning, I pull back and curse my body for interrupting yet again.
Freya smiles and presses her hand to my chest once more, and the skin beneath her palm seems to burn. “It is for the best that I cannot kiss you the way I wish to, Elliot Reid.”
“Nope. That’s never a good thing.” It’s really annoying that my body endured everything I put it through in the Special Forces, but one tiny bullet can get in the way of what I really want. “Freya, I…” I don’t even know what I want to say as I gaze into her eyes. There are too many questions when it comes to a romance between us, and I don’t even know if I would be a good partner let alone a good monarch. But I want to be more than what I am, if only because that’s what she sees in me. I’ve never felt this way. About anyone.
I desperately want to be the man she thinks I can be.
Someone clears their throat, and I look up to find Hex standing a few feet away, his eyes discerning as he studies the way we’re cuddled together. He looks worried. Even sad. He knows as well as we do that this can’t end well.
“Mum wants to talk to you,” he says to Freya. His eyes jump to me. “And Gregor is on the line for you, El.”
“Mum already knows I am perfectly safe thanks to Elliot,” Freya says without any indication that she plans to move anytime soon.
