“Freya is trying to decide if she’s going to have some guy’s baby,” Liam says with all the confidence of a man who knows exactly what is going on, when his summary could not be farther from the truth.
“What?” Cole growls, tugging Carissa’s phone closer to his face. “Freya, what’s going on?”
I take a deep breath. “I—”
“Wait,” Carissa says with a gasp, “did you and Elliot—”
“No!” I shriek as my embarrassment floods my entire body, leaving me feeling like I may combust. “No, we have not—”
“Freya!” The voice that shouts my name is so recognizable that relief washes over me as I turn to see Elliot running toward me from the outer gate. He comes to my side, a hand on my waist as he searches my face as if looking for whatever troubles me. “Are you okay?”
“Is that Elliot?” Carissa asks excitedly.
Elliot’s eyes jump to the phone in my hand, and he frowns. “Oh.”
“Was it him who knocked you up, Freya?” Liam asks, bringing his face close to the screen as if to get a better look at my bodyguard.
Cole swears. “What did you do to her, Reid?”
This is a nightmare. “Nothing!” I practically squeak. If I did not know that my friends would not let this conversation go, I would power my phone down right now and pray for a way to turn back time.
“Freya!” Cole says, almost pleading. “What the he—”
“Language,” I say breathlessly.
Cole ignores me. “Reid, I don’t care that you know Derek. If you even touched the princess, then I swear I’ll—”
“Enough!” I shout, all too aware of everything around me. The guards stationed on the grounds are staring in my direction, Sander is now standing next to Hex, both of them looking murderous, and Elliot cannot seem to take his eyes off me despite the half-formed threats Colethrew at him. My poor bodyguard chose a terrible time to join me, but his warm hand on my side is the only thing keeping me upright at the moment.
I wonder if Elliot wants kids. Or even a relationship. He is so focused on his job that it seems silly to wonder. But after the way he interacted with Elsa and the other kids in Havenford, I can imagine him being an incredible father. He would look so masculine with a tiny baby held in his capable arms, and that child would want for nothing.
Taking a steadying breath, I fix my eyes on my phone and force those fantasies away. They can never come true. Not with me. “You are all making this harder,” I say to the phone. “Except you, Hank. For the most part, you were helpful.”
He smiles and pushes his glasses up his nose. “Keep going through those hypotheticals, and I think you’ll get your answer.”
Cole makes a growling sound deep in his throat. “Hypotheticals about having kids?”
“What?” Elliot says in alarm.
“Marriage,” Hank corrects before I can find a believable lie.
Who am I kidding? My friends know me too well and would catch even the most well-thought out fib.
Cole scowls. “Marriage to whom?”
My eyes drift to Elliot on the screen, taking in the way his full attention is on me and not my phone. Even without making eye contact with him, I can feel his intense gaze warming me from the inside out. “I have always known my marriage, should it happen, would be political,” I say, knowing it is not an answer to Cole’s question. I have to fight to keep the disappointment out of my voice. Markham is a good man, yes, but I cannot picture him as a father, no matter how hard I try. I can barely imagine feeling any real affection toward him.
I know what is best for Candora, but at what cost?
“Freya,” Elliot murmurs, leaning closer as if he senses the turmoil inside me. “What do you need?”
I need him not to ask questions like that when the answer is a moment in his arms. To let myself be held by him and pretend, like I did in Havenford, that I could live a different life, one in which the thing I want most no longer stands in the way ofwhoI want most.
In a different life, I think I could be happy with Elliot.
“I really hope you’re going to tell us what’s going on,” Liam says, resting his arms on the edge of his pool and dropping his chin onto them. “Just to be clear, you’renotpregnant?”
I let out a weak chuckle. “Nowhere close.”
