His hand over my heart has a strange effect, like I can suddenly breathe more easily. I knew I was tense, but my body practically crumbles under his touch, and I have to reach out and grip the window frame to keep upright.
“Mate…” Hex mutters before stepping back. His eyebrows are low as he looks at me with concern, and he seems ready to jump back in and catch me at a moment’s notice.
It makes sense; I can only imagine how I look right now. My body feels heavy without Hex’s touch, and I don’t like it. I’ve come to see him and Sander as brothers like I did with my old ODA, but we haven’t known each other for long. I shouldn’t feel that much relief from a little bit of support.
I need to get a hold of myself.
Hex frowns. “Yeah, you definitely need some down time that isn’t the few hours of sleep you get at night. You’re wearing yourself thin.”
I’m doing my job, and I might have slept better last night if Freya hadn’t touched my arm while we talked to Grimstad. It was such a soothing gesture of familiarity that I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it, or the way it spurred me to tuck her arm through mine as we walked back to her room. She called us friends, and even if I had hoped we would get to that point eventually, I didn’t expect it to happen so quickly.
I didn’t expect to feel the warmth of her friendship deep in my chest, like it’s something I’ve been needing for a long time.
“How close was Freya to Gregor?” I ask, slowly releasing my grip on the window and standing straight. I’m fine. I’ve endured way more stress than this, and I need to pull myself together.Concentrate.
If Hex finds my question strange, he doesn’t say so. “He was her protector from the day she was born,” he says with a shrug. “He’s family to all of us, but their dynamic was…different.”
I raise an eyebrow. “What do you mean, different?”
“I mean my sister trusted Gregor with all of her secrets, good and bad, so he was probably the closest person to her. Closer than her friends or even us. She cried like a baby when he announced his retirement, even if she knew it was time.”
I was afraid of that. I knew going into this job that I would be in close quarters with the princess for most of her day, but yesterday really knocked the truth of it into me. I go where she goes. I sleep when she sleeps. My whole life revolves around Freya Alverra, and that’s…
Dangerous.
“You’re not thinking of backing out of the job, are you?”
Hex looks so genuinely horrified that I laugh and shake my head. “And let you think you’re the best fighter in Candora? Of course not.” But I am surprised by how easy it is to say that I intend to stick to my position. No matter how unprepared I was for this job, I can’t imagine leaving Freya’s safety up to anyone but me. “She’s stuck with me now, which means you are too.”
“Good.” Hex smiles. “In that case, I’m going to give you a choice.”
I don’t like the sound of that. “Okay?”
“You can either go upstairs and take a nap because you look like you’ve been to hell and back, or you and I are going out.”
Glancing at the rain, I debate my options. I could refuse to do either, but Hex holds back when he fights me. Not sure I want to face him when I’m not at my best. So, I can try to get some sleep—not likely—or I can venture into the downpour that’s showing no signs of stopping. I’ve been in worse conditions…
I swallow. Going out is a bad idea. “Freya needs—”
“Sander can look after Freya. Or I can stay with her, and you can go explore Havenford with San, but either way you’re going out and taking a breather before you work yourself to death. If there’s anywhere for you to relax, it’s here.” He folds his arms and lifts his eyebrows in a silent taunt, reminding me why he’s so hard to beat in a fight. In terms of size, he’s smaller than me, but I have never met a man with more grit and determination than Hex Alverra, except for his twin. Like Sander, he likes to let people underestimate him, and I know better than to fall into that trap.
I don’t think I actually have a choice here.
“Fine,” I say on a sigh. “We’ll go out, and you can show me what’s so special about this tiny town, but I’m only giving you an hour. One hour, and then we’re back here. Got it?”
Hex already has an arm around my shoulders, guiding me to the door. “Yeah, sure. An hour. Let’s go!”
“You’re serious?”
The woman in front of me nods with all the seriousness that a seventy-year-old with a nonstop grin can muster. “A fish for a kiss,” she says, which is what she said to me thirty seconds ago, so Ididhear her right.
“A fish for a kiss,” I repeat, as if that might make it make sense. I’m too tired for this.
A few feet to my left, Hex looks like he’s having the time of his life as he sits with a man so weathered that I can barely see his eyes through his wrinkled skin, the two of them chatting and mending a fishing net.
What am I even doing? I spent the lasttwo hourson a fishing boat hauling in teeming nets and wondering if we’d sink as the rain kept falling, but the instant the rain stopped, we were back on shore as the main street in Havenford burst to life. I’m tired, wet, and starving, but I just got told no one in Havenford accepts money, and if I want to eat some of the fish and chips that is making my stomach clench and my mouth water from its aroma, my payment will be a kiss.
A kiss.
