“We were in school together.”
“Oh.”
Unlike me, who had private tutors until I went to university, Hex and Sander chose to go to secondary school and then to a highly rated college in Invem after their exams at sixteen. But they did not go to university, so if they were in school with the RIA agent I spoke to this morning, itwould have been when they were teenagers. I was in Paris then and not as close to my brothers as I am now, so I can only imagine the terrors they were back then.
“My condolences to her,” I say with as straight a face as I can muster.
Sander chuckles. “She can hold her own, which is why Hex is hiding.”
“She is still trying to convince him to join the RIA?”
“Yes, but he won’t do it.”
I turn to my brother, tilting my head. “Why is he so against it?” That is a question I should ask Hex, and I have, but his answer changes every time. Sander will know the real reason.
Clenching his jaw, he watches the dancers for a long moment as if debating with himself. “Because he doesn’t think he’s good enough,” he says eventually.
My mouth falls open. “What?Hex?”
He shrugs and drops his gaze to his feet. “Too wild to be a proper prince, too royal to be a proper palace guard. Never good enough. The RIA would be no different for him.”
“But that is—”
“It’s hard to feel worthy when you know they let you win the fight. When no one ever looks at you and sees a king.”
Oh. I press a hand over my heart as I see a part of my brother I have never seen before. He is not talking about Hex anymore. “Do…do you want to be a king, Sander?”
He snorts a laugh and shakes his head, looking out over the ballroom again. “Not in a million years.” His eyes start to trail someone, and I follow his gaze to find Agent Storme in the sea of blue. “But no one ever wondered if Icould.”
Apparently there are a lot of things I have missed about my brothers. Maybe, when this is all over, I can find time to figure out who they really are beneath the carefree facades. I wish I could do thatnow, but I have a country to inform about my engagement.
“So, you chose him?” Sander says, clearly ready to turn the conversation away from himself. He nods to our right, where Markham is deep in discussion with a few members of Lords.
As surprised as I am to see the nobles talking to Markham so readily, I am not in the least surprised that I feel nothing when my future husband looks up at me and smiles.
I force a smile in return. “I accepted his proposal, yes.”
“That’s not what I asked.” Sander turns to face me, eyebrows low. “You chose Grimstad over Elliot.”
The hole that has been forming in my chest all day grows a little bigger. “Elliot was never a choice.”
“He was always a choice. From the very start.”
Scoffing, I grab handfuls of my gown, as if holding the silky blue fabric might steady me. “I tried to send him away at the start.”
Sander rolls his eyes. “You and I both know he would have been gone on day one if you’d really wanted it. You’re Freya Alverra, and you can make anything happen.” His attention catches on something over my head, and he narrows his eyes. “Why is the actor here?”
I turn to see Derek standing at the edge of the ballroom in a tuxedo, looking for all the world as if he belongs here as he surveys the room. Gone are the exhaustion and anxiety from before, leaving behind an untouchable Hollywood superstar. “Derek is my friend,” I say, suddenly desperate to know what he and Elliot learned today. Did they fix the problem, or is that what Elliot has been ‘dealing with’? Derek would not be this calm if it was still an issue.
“A man who lies about who he is is not a friend you should keep,” Sander all but growls. “He’s not the perfect man you think he is, Freya.” Before I can respond, he stalks in Derek’s direction, presumably to say something similar to Derek’s face.
I should try to stop him, but I let him go to avoid making a scene. I know that Derek is not perfect, no matter what he lets the world see, butlying? Putting up a front to protect oneself is not the same as intentional deceit, and Derek has his reasons for keeping so many shields up all the time. Perhaps someday he will tell me what those reasons are, but I know better than anyone that he has to share on his own terms.
Thankfully, Sander is waylaid by Agent Storme before he ever reaches Derek, and as the pair of them speak and head in the opposite direction, I use the opportunity to walk toward my friend, hopefully to get at least one answer today that does not make me feel worse.
I make it three whole steps before Hex intercepts me, and though his eyes are on Agent Storme’s retreating back, I feel the full brunt of his sharp words. “How could you do it?”
Will I not get any peace today? Taking a steadying breath, I wait until my frustration settles. “Do what, Hendrick?”
