Bella
Dragon is quiet on the way back to Beast’s house. I don’t fault him for it all because I don’t know what to say. I don’t know how to feel regarding Beast thinking I’m just a piece of ass.
I think I’m more mad at myself than anything else for believing I could be enough for the big and bad biker. I’m just a girl who’s a freshman in college. I don’t know the first thing about being with anyone like that. I jumped from the kiddy pool into the ocean.
“I’m gonna come in with you,” Dragon says once he’s parked in front of Beast’s house.
Someone was in here and destroyed the place. Someone fucking trashed it and now you’re about to tell him to leave? What if they came back? What if they didn’t leave?
What if it were my dad?
I want to tell him not to worry about it, but I need someone with me so I don’t have a panic attack when I go through his house to get all of my stuff. When I go through everything will remind me of him.
I get choked up when I open the door to the house I’ve called home for the past week. The smell of all man is no longer comforting to me. It will be the reminder I have burned in my brain of the heart ache of leaving Beast. Of Beast not wanting me like I want him.
Tears pool in my eyes and there’s nothing I can do to stop them from flowing down my cheeks. Dragon wraps his arms around me probably thinking he’s being comforting. It is, the only problem is, I cry harder.
“Bella, sweetie, I’m so fuckin’ sorry,” he murmurs in my hair.
I burrow my face into his chest to hide the shame of my crying. The man smells like leather, smoke and beer. A combination I’ve grown accustomed to with Beast. This only makes me cry harder.
Dragon rubs my back in comforting circles. “I know it sucks right now, but in the end this is probably better for you.”
I shake my head. “I don’t see how this is better for me. I thought he loved me.”
“I’m so fuckin’ sorry,” he repeats.
“You didn’t break my heart in two. You didn’t take my virginity and call me a piece of ass to your president.”
He takes a deep breath, squeezing me tighter. “It hurts now and it will. Soon, it won’t hurt, baby.”
I push myself off of him. I need to get my shit packed so I can get out of here before I have a real break down. Beast’s house is just another reminder of everything I gave him and never got back in return.
No matter where I turn, I come face to face with another memory of what it was like to be with him. On the couch where he would wrap his arms around me and kiss my neck repeatedly. In the hallway where I would run to the room for a night of love making.
In the kitchen where we would eat together and talk about random stuff. Every where I look, my heart breaks more.
It’s obvious none of it meant anything to him. I was nothing to him.
Just some fresh pussy. An easy heart to manipulate and hold as collateral. That’s all I was to him.
I pass the kitchen on the way to the room I stayed in, I see the plates we used at breakfast still in the sink. I remember thinking before we left how I needed to clean them. It looks like that doesn’t matter anymore.
I wonder if Beast will look at everything like I am. I wonder if he will look at the couch and think of me, or the bed I slept in and remember what it was like to be with me. I wonder if any of it meant anything to him.
I quickly stuff my clothes into the bag lying next to the bed. I don’t care about what’s still clean or dirty, all of it gets stuffed into the bag without being folded. I will just wash everything when I get back to my dad’s house.
Dragon’s not in here and I appreciate the fact he’s giving me space to do my own thing. I need the space to get my shit together before I go back to my dad’s. Before I leave the home of the man I love.
I grab the bag full of my clothes along with my book bag, and leave the room. I turn once more to look at the bed I slept in with Beast. He never invited me to his room. I figured he wanted me to feel comfortable with having my own space…
Or maybe it was to make sure I didn’t get too close to him. Or maybe he didn’t want to get too close to me.
Too bad, I’m in love with the asshole and now there’s nothing left for me here besides heart ache.
I walk out of the room I stayed in and had so many great memories in, now I’m standing in front of the room that has always been shut and locked. I’ve never tried to go in there until tonight.
I put my hand on the doorknob and it twists open. Quickly, I look down the hall to make sure Dragon’s not lurking around and try to stop me from exploring this room. Now that Beast and I are over, I don’t feel as if I have to give him the privacy I once did. I’m no longer staying in his house and I no longer have to give him the respect I once did.
