“I know.”
“No, princess, I don’t think you do. That day on the battlefield, when my magic fully woke … Ivy, they had Theo. The Synalians. They’d had him for days before I could get there. The broken, bloody shell of a man they pulled from that wagon …” Cal’s voice breaks, pausing to take a shaky breath before pressing on.
“Raw power consumed me and my only thought was ‘kill them all.’ And it did. Every last Synalian on that battlefield died, and I didn’t even have to lift a finger. Men who had no part in Theo’s torture fell alongside those that did. Death feasted on so many souls that night that I expected him to appear in my dreams to thank me. What we possess …this magic… it’s equal parts amazing and dangerous. It may do the killing, but we are the ones who have to live with those actions.”
Wispy shadows flit through the air, wrapping us in a delicate, magical embrace. His pain overwhelms me, evoking more tears from my own eyes as his emotions wash through me.
The sea of despair that threatens to consume us is vast, and we cling together as if the other is the only rope that can moor us to the shore. Our only anchor in the neverending chasm of sorrow.
“How do you live with it?” I whisper against his chest.
“I have someone worth living for.”
CHAPTER 26
Everything about my magic is different. What used to feel like a warm tingle is now a scorching river that roils in my veins. It burns with every pulse of my heart and every breath of my lungs.
I down the last of the water in the canteen that was supposed to last me until the end of the day, splashing the remaining droplets across my neck. Cal watches me, his gray eyes scrutinizing my every move as his magically summoned breeze attempts to offer a single moment of relief that never truly comes.
I need to release this burning power, to bleed off some of the magic that’s running rampant through me, or I might spontaneously combust. I send little spurts of it out as we ride, planting seeds underneath the snow-covered ground to bloom in the springtime, but it’s not enough to satiate it.
“Can we stop for a bit?” I finally ask.
It’s only noon, but Cal doesn’t deny my request. With a soft, knowing smile, he turns his horse off the road in wordless understanding. The sunlight catches his onyx hair in a glowing halo, the image so godlike it belongs on a temple painting rather than a forest in the Ruby Region. He leads us through the densetrees, winding around downed logs until we find a clearing ringed in snow drifts at least two feet deep. With a little magic, this place will be the perfect concealment.
“We’ll make camp here. I’ll go ahead and set up the tent if you want to meditate,” Cal says with a wink before dismounting and pulling the large canvas out of his pack.
“Can you make it go away?”
Cal stops abruptly, turning to face me as the full implications of my words dawn on me.
“Not my magic!” I correct quickly. “The snow under the tent. It will be cold through the canvas and … I just want to see you do it.”
“I can do that.”
With a single swipe of his hand in the air, the snow under the tent evaporates, leaving nothing but dry, bare dirt behind. His mouth tugs up in a smile again as he stalks towards me, a hint of wicked delight sparkling in his gray eyes at the way my mouth hangs agape. Two tan fingers lift my chin and tilt it up until my mouth is inches from his.
“I can do a lot of things with my magic, princess. Would you like to see those, too?”
I absolutely would.
This close to Cal, the unrelenting power coursing through me is drowning out all logical thoughts. And if I don’t use it soon, I fear I won’t be able to control which side of it I use when I snap. Flowers, vines, or plants could be amusing, but if the decay came out instead …
“Does it get easier?” I ask. “The sharp edges and the need to use it?”
“You get used to it.”
The magnitude of this power doesn’t feel like something anyone could ever get used to. Then again, I never thought I’d get used to the magic that possessed me at eight years old either.What felt gargantuan then pales in comparison to what flows in me now.
“You need to wield. Grow something, anything. Just focus on life.” There’s a slight tremble in his voice when he speaks, an echo of the residual pain somewhere deep inside.
On a steady exhale, for the first time in front of a living soul, I purposefully set my magic loose.
I start small, covering the brown patch of dead ground that Cal cleared in lush, verdant grass before moving to the snow drifts. Slowly, an assortment of flowers, the same ones I decorated the beds in the manor courtyard with, erupts. Purples, reds, yellows, and greens pop against the pristine backdrop, petals turned towards the sun directly overhead.
But the blade-like edge that cuts at my skin doesn’t subside. Grass and flowers are not enough. Every side of this new magic demands more, even the side I want to contain.
“Spar with me,” I command on a shaky breath. “I need to know that I can use my magic to fight. I’m tired of hiding it.”
