She took mercy on him because he may be talking idiotically, but she could sense that he was trying to say something good and kind. ‘I styled my hair in a less painful way. I did it myself so it’s not quite how I should like, but I think I will get there with practice.’
His gaze followed the loops she had made; he swallowed as if about to say something, before releasing a slight breath. He turned his attention back to his niece. ‘It looks well enough.’
Her heart ached a little. She knew he meant his comment kindly and that this was not part of his normal teasing, but she wished she inspired more delicate forms of compliments. She would like to see him struck dumb by her beauty, or at least pretend to be, which, now that she thought about it, was strange. She shouldn’t care. She never had before. Things were changing between her and Freddie and shewasn’t sure what into. She had lived a sheltered upbringing, not spending much time around men; even her brothers-in-law were distant figures. She had no real idea what to expect when it came to men, no idea if she and Freddie could be friends or allies, or if this morning was one of the only times they would ever get to talk privately together. If this was the last time they would be together like this, then perhaps it would not matter if she spoke frankly with him. ‘May I ask you about your drawing?’
There was a distinct pause, and she held her breath, waiting. She wouldn’t pry if he said no. It was obvious that this was a side to himself that he wanted to keep private. If anyone else knew of his extraordinary talent, it would be talked about far and wide. Yet, the only things she ever heard discussed about Freddie was how cavalier he was with his charm; how he could get away with murder if he so wished; how he had never worked a day in his life. It was all of these points that had irked her in the past and yet she now saw that these were not the whole picture of Freddie. There was so much more to him than other people knew and she wanted to be the one to discover it.
‘You may,’ he said eventually.
He didn’t sound overly thrilled, but that wasn’t going to stop her. If she was right and this was one of the only times she would ever get him alone, she wanted to know everything. ‘When you said the glasshouses do not exist yet, do you have somewhere in mind for that garden to exist?’
He huffed out a laugh. ‘You do not start with the easy questions, do you?’
‘If it exists, I would like to go there.’
He scratched his chin, his gaze still fixed on his niece. ‘That is a fine compliment indeed, Miss Hawkins.’
She recognised this tone of voice; he was about to launch into the happy-go-lucky persona he normally showed her and everyone else. She wasn’t going to let him, or at least she was going to try to stay away from his flippancy.
‘Do you own such a place?’ she asked before he could go any further.
‘I…’ His shoulders sagged slightly. ‘No.’
‘But you want to.’ She didn’t phrase it as a question. Only days ago she would not have believed Freddie had any plan further than the next hour, but now she was convinced otherwise. It was the depth of the drawing; it was not done on a whim. It had been thought out and planned with detail. ‘Do you have a site in mind?’
He nodded.
‘Tell me about it.’
He let out a long sigh. ‘No one else knows about this, Miss Hawkins. I am not sure…’
‘You have my word that I will never tell a soul.’
He turned to face her, his dark eyes full of a vulnerability she’d never seen from him. Before today, she would have said that he didn’t have it in him to look so earnest and sincere. He turned and focused his attention on his hands, flexing his fingers, drawing her attention to the length of them. They were not the expected hands of a dandy. They were not soft and pale. They had hard calluses, looking as if they had been used in manual labour. She had never noticed before but now she was always going to see it.
‘There is an estate that borders Berferd, on the outskirts of the city.’ He cleared his throat. ‘The owner is running it into the ground, but he is refusing to sell it to me for the amount I have. He has made me a counteroffer; I am close and now that I am living back at Glanmore House, I will probably reach it quicker, and when I do… There will bemore work, more expense. I think, I hope, it will be worth the effort.’
‘Could you ask…?’
‘No.’ He was shaking his head before she could get to the end of her sentence. ‘This is my dream. I want to do it on my own terms with money I have earned from my investments and from saving. I am not asking Tobias for the blunt. When I get this place, it will be because of something I have achieved.’
She nodded slowly; she could understand that, especially after her revelations this morning. It was a simple thing, being in control of your own destiny, but it was an important, fundamental desire.
‘Why this place in particular? Why not somewhere you can afford right now?’
He bent one knee, resting his arm across the top of it. ‘The position of the gardens is perfect, not so close to the Thames as to be constantly worried about flooding but close enough to be able to transport heavy goods there using the river. The gardens have been left to rot, which is not ideal, but it does mean that I can stamp my own design on the space. The size of the grounds is exactly right. There is a section where…’ He faded off. ‘Sorry, I am being very tedious. You do not want to hear me ramble on about sunlight and drainage. You had enough of that with Baron Mothchild.’ He winked at her; she could almost see him switching from serious to his playful character.
It wasn’t true; she was fascinated and it had nothing to do with the topic. The Freddie before her now was so different from the superficial man she thought she knew. ‘Not at all, do carry on.’
But she could tell that she had already lost him. ‘It is a dream,’ he said dismissively. ‘One that probably will not happen; you know what I am like.’
‘No,’ she said slowly, ‘I do not think I do.’
He turned to look at her; the morning sun streaming through the window highlighted the length of his dark lashes. There was only silence where there would normally have been a teasing comment or rolled eyes. Neither of them said anything as something fluttery unfurled in Emily’s stomach, something that appeared to take flight and set off around her body, making her tremble once more. She longed to reach out and trace the length of his fingers to see whether the skin of his hands was as hard as it looked.
In the periphery of Emily’s vision, she could make out Lotte coming back towards them, but she couldn’t tear her gaze away from the man in front of her. She had no idea what was happening to them, no idea when finding out what made the man tick became so important to her, but it was getting harder and harder to dismiss him as a frivolous fool.
Freddie jumped as a large book was thrown onto his unbent leg.
