Her own mind was scrambling, trying to make sense of what she was feeling. Her mouth went dry as her heart raced. She’d danced a thousand times before and never experienced such a rush of bewildering sensations. ‘What things?’ she asked, trying to distract herself from what was happening.
Freddie’s lips twitched. ‘And here I was thinking you were a veritable genius with words and yet I have absolutely no idea to what you are referring.’
‘What is it that you think you are not good at? I saw your drawing two days ago and it was the most beautiful I have ever seen.’
His smile died and the ghost of some emotion touched his eyes and then it was gone as if it had never appeared. He shrugged. ‘The drawing was nothing special; my jottings will not be hung in any galleries. There are a very many things I cannot do; too many to list.’
The dance separated them and she found herself confronted with a new partner. His touch did nothing to scramble her mind, but as he tried to make conversation, she found she couldn’t concentrate. She was sure Freddie was being sincere in his belief he was not good at things, things she was yet to determine. He was so confident, so much more at ease than she was in social situations. Next to him, she had always felt somehow inadequate. It had never occurred to her that he might feel the same way.
‘You are frowning again,’ he said when they reconnected; his own forehead was creased and she realised it was with concern for her. Oh dear, this was very bad indeed. A thoughtful Freddie was a dangerous Freddie.
‘I am sorry.’
‘You don’t need to apologise for not being happy. I just… I thought you might like to dance, but now I see that I have pulled you away from conversing with a friend and I…’
‘I am happy to dance with you,’ she cut in hurriedly. ‘If I am frowning, it is because I am puzzled, not because I am cross.’
‘I see.’ He spun her and when he was supposed to pass her on to another partner, he didn’t. She almost stumbled but he caught her in time, his grip fleeting but firm.
‘Wha…?’
‘Those two are staring lovingly at one another. It would be cruel to separate them.’
Freddie glanced across to the two dancers they should have swapped with; Emily followed his gaze. Sure enough, the youngercouple were looking at each other, their mutual adoration shining in their eyes, the look almost too much to bear.
‘See, you are good at that,’ she said. He tilted his head questioningly. ‘Doing something unconventional but sweet.’ Freddie’s mouth swung open but Emily persevered. ‘And you might not think your drawing was anything special, but you are wrong.’
He grinned. ‘Of course I am.’
Prior to this evening, his teasing would have irritated her, but she was starting to understand Freddie. He made light of situations he found uncomfortable and that realisation didn’t make her feel good about herself. It followed that she must make him uneasy given that he always spoke to her in such a way.
‘You are a good dancer,’ she added, as he twirled them around the floor. His fingers flexed and she thought he would say something, but it was time to change partners again and the moment was lost. She half expected him to make some pithy comment when she was returned to him, but he said nothing at all and they danced the rest in silence. Normally, Emily would search desperately for something to say while she danced, hoping to impress upon her partner her suitability as a wife. She’d yet to meet a man she wanted to marry, so the discomfort she always found herself in was largely pointless. There was no such internal debate as Freddie whirled her around the floor. Instead, she allowed herself to enjoy the strength of his lead, the joy of the movement and the strange, seductive scent of her partner.
Freddie led her back towards Eloisa, who was all but bouncing on the tips of her toes, such was her excitement. He came to a stop several steps away from her friend and turned to Emily. ‘Thank you for the dance, Miss Hawkins.’
Emily curtsied, suddenly shy in front of this man whom she’d known for so long, or whom she had thought she’d known. She was no longer certain that Freddie was the person he appeared.
‘At the risk of ending our entertaining word battles,’ Freddie began, ‘I want to thank you for your compliments and return one, if I may.’
Emily waited but Freddie seemed to be waiting for her permission. ‘Are you asking me if you can give me a compliment in return?’
Freddie nodded, a small smile playing at the corner of his mouth. ‘I am never sure if you enjoy crossing swords with me whenever we meet and I worry that my compliment is so great you will forever be pleased with me.’
She bit her lip to stop herself from grinning in a very unladylike manner; her mother would not approve. ‘I do think that is stretching it a bit, Mr Dashworth. I may have thought your drawing impressive, but I am sure you will continue to irk me.’
He nodded solemnly. ‘Very well. I see you are prepared to take the risk.’ He cleared his throat and straightened to his full height. ‘You should ignore your mother.’
‘Um…’ In what ballroom was that a compliment? It was an odd declaration at best or an insult to her mother at worst. ‘I do not…’
It was his turn to roll his eyes. ‘I have not finished yet.’
‘I see.’ Perhaps, as a dutiful daughter, she should stop him, but then she remembered the lecture her mother had given her in the carriage ride over and decided it wouldn’t hurt to hear what he had to say. ‘You may proceed.’
‘It is probably not good manners to comment on this but when have you known me to let that worry me?’ He scratched the back of his head and she realised he was not as comfortable as he was pretending to be. It was amazing how much better she was coming to understand him, how she was able to read his moods through the slight shift of his shoulders. ‘I see your mother pecking at you, always bringing down your confidence and you should ignore her.’ Heinhaled deeply and then met her gaze, his dark eyes serious. ‘You are the most beautiful woman in the room, in any room, in fact.’
Before she could respond to the most earth-shattering comment she had ever received, Freddie was bowing and striding away, soon to be swallowed up by the crowd. She stared after him until Eloisa jostled her elbow.
‘You need to blink.’
