“Can’t we use the Doras Àlainn to go straight home from here?” Ravager asks. “We could set it up in the hallway, light the main fuse, and then leave through the portal.”
He reaches for his back pocket—then looks up at me with startled realization in his eyes.
“You took it,” he says quietly. “I didn’t even feel you pick my pocket. Where is it, Devilry?”
I left the Doras Àlainn and the twin swords in the room with all of Drosselmeyer’s inventions, when I was setting up the bomb and the fuse that will destroy them. But I cannot confess it aloud to him.
“Trust me.” But tears fill my eyes as I say it, because if my plan doesn’t work—if Nocturis doesn’tletit work—this could be the last conversation we have, and Ravager’s trust in me will have been tragically misplaced.
My emotions have been locked up tight since we started the process of harvesting the ooze, placing our makeshift bombs, and laying the fuses, but Ravager’s expression unseats the mechanism of my heart. All the pins and tumblers are dislodged, and the locks on my soul snap wide open, one by one. I can’t hold in my fear, my love, or my sorrow anymore.
I turn my back on him with a desperate, stifled sob, and I start climbing recklessly through the rubble, careless of how the stones and splintered wood lacerate my hands.
“Devilry,” he calls out.
“What?” I yell through my tears. “I’m making a path!”
Ravager climbs up beside me, helping me shift beams and scrape aside debris. He doesn’t comment on the way I’m crying while I work, but when I keep wiping my nose and eyes on my ragged sleeve, he sighs and pulls a handkerchief from his pocket. “Here. It’s clean.”
“Fuck you,” I sob, snatching it from him.
He laughs, sweet affection and faint sorrow in the sound. “I love you too.”
When I close my eyes, the tears spill out. I soak them up with the handkerchief, then wipe my nose.
Ravager’s warm hand closes over mine. “It’s all right. Whatever is going to happen, whatever is making you weep like this—it’s all right. I’ve made my peace with it. Nothing I could ever do will surpass what I’ve done today.”
“The bomb,” I sniff.
“The heist.”
“But we haven’t stolen anything.”
“I have.” He gives me a broad grin. “Your heart.”
“My heart? Really? Do you understand how silly you sound?”
“If it makes you smile, I don’t care.”
“I’m not smiling.” But he’s grinning wider, and his joy is contagious. I can’t help giving him an answering smile.
“There it is,” he crows, triumphant. “Come on, devil of mine, let’s keep digging for the door. It’s got to be here somewhere.”
Eventually we manage to clear enough space to get the front door open. Ravager goes back for the last length of fuse while I wait for him just inside the entrance, staring out at the blue grass of the lawn and the reconfigured moat beyond. Down the slope, about twenty paces away, I think I can see an oval of glowing green light shimmering in the grass.
That’s my way out.
Slowly I unbuckle my remaining belts, straps, and gadgets. I discard everything, even my favorite outfit from Lace. I’m not taking any chances. There must be no way for Nocturis to claim that I “carried” out more things than I was supposed to.
When Ravager comes to the entrance, pulling the fuse behind him, he looks surprised at my nakedness.
“So… you want to take a quick break before we blow it up?” He waggles his eyebrows, but behind the levity I can tell he’s confused. He can’t reconcile my mournful mood with the sudden nudity, and I don’t blame him. Besides, we already fucked each other senseless in the kitchen a few hours ago. It was exactly what we both wanted and needed at the time, but at this point we’re sweaty and weary—and with the burden of what we’re facing, I can’t justify indulging in another carnal distraction. We’re almost out of time. The Stewards could return at any moment.
“We’re not taking a break.” I step through the door onto the grass outside.
He follows me, laying down the length of oil-soaked rope.
“Take off everything you’re wearing,” I tell him. “And then light the fuse.”
