I turned around and paced again, my boots whispering over the stone floor. “I’ve made it to my mid-forties without it taking over. Even when my husband spent years acting like I was a piece of furniture. Even when I cooked and cleaned and smiled, he did whatever he thought was more important than being married to me. I still knew who I was.”
Nova said nothing. She just watched me with that quiet awareness that always felt like permission to be as messy as I needed.
“I left that life,” I went on, the words tumbling faster now. “I left it. I started over. I rebuilt myself from the ground up or am building myself up. I found a whole damnmagicaltown, for crying out loud. Fell headfirst into a cottage with a gargoyle clanwho judges my tea preferences and a goblin who thinks sarcasm is a form of affection.”
A short laugh escaped me, dry and wild. “And I’ve got an elderly vampire who gives me lip service and teaches me divorce spells like they’re ancient texts. I mean, I am doinggreat.”
I turned back toward the window seat, throwing my hands in the air. “So why now? Why now do I suddenly think I’m not enough? Why is this the moment my brain decides to send me spiraling?”
Nova smiled faintly, but didn’t speak. She knew better than to interrupt.
“I was fine when it was just me,” I said, quieter now. “When I was navigating strange books and talking foxes and ghosts with opinions. I could handle that. But thesecondthe Academy said I was chosen—” I swallowed hard. “That’s when it started.”
Nova rose to her feet and walked to where I stood. She didn’t touch me, just stood nearby, anchoring me with her presence.
“You’re not doubting yourself because you’re weak, Maeve,” she said gently. “You’re doubting because for the first time, it matters. Deeply. And you care. Doubt has entered because you’re strong, and you’re strong enough to handle what’s ahead.”
I looked at her. My throat was tight again, but not with fear. With frustration.
“I don’t want to fail,” I said.
“You won’t,” she replied. “Not as long as you keep getting back up.”
“I don’t even know what I’m doing,” I whispered. “I’m just guessing. Every day.”
Nova’s smile deepened. “That’s what leading is, most of the time. Anyone who tells you otherwise is selling something.”
I let out a breath, shaky but full.
I wasn’t broken.
I was becoming.
And I knew exactly where I was needed.
Chapter Forty-Five
I didn’t tell Nova where I was going. I couldn’t.
Moving swiftly down the corridors, heading toward my bedroom, but not stopping to enter, I looked around to see the flicker of movement in front of me.
The key. It stirred the moment I reached for it, stretching its little wings against my fingertips like it had been waiting.
“Alright,” I whispered. “Take me in.”
The key zipped from my hand and flitted to the carved door ahead, the one most people would never see.
The door shivered once, then opened with a soft click and the faint sigh of old air.
I stepped inside.
The dragon wing.
The moment I crossed the threshold, the air changed completely. It was warmer here, not artificially so, but like the sun itself had kissed every stone. A soft orange glow flickered along the walls from lanterns I hadn’t lit. The scent of ash and crushed herbs floated gently through the air.
And the quiet…it wasn’t empty. It was full. Deep. Like the hush inside a cathedral before a hymn begins.
I let the door close behind me and walked forward.
