ChapterOne
J.J.
J.J. sat outdoors. She’d gotten a jump on the lunch crowd, but not a jump on the heat. It was already too warm for her taste. May in Haven Beach was apparently hotter than any day in August in her hometown.
But there was an ocean breeze and a view. This was J.J.’s first visit to the Gulf Coast of Florida. She liked the view. She loved the sound of the seashore. But she also felt intimidated.
The gentle waves turned into a roar sometimes. The salt stung J.J.’s skin. And well, sharks could just kiss right off.
Still, Seashell Shack had umbrellas and amazing views of the water. You really needed to kick off your shoes to eat there. Patrons were encouraged to leave a regular tip but also a seashell tip. The seashell tips stayed in the center of each table until the end of the day.
What bliss. The salt air, the hum of the surf, and the feeling that you were at the edge of the world made it magical here.
She wondered what Dean would think of this place.
Ugh. Dean.She’d traveled for the last nine months trying to get distance. J.J. thought a change of location would help her heal from the sudden loss of Dean, her husband of nearly thirty years. They’d missed that milestone by a few months.
Shoot.
J.J. shook her head to try to rearrange what was inside. It was easy for her to stay in a loop of the past. It was easy to replay her life with her husband and the kids. It was easy to get there, but it hurt the longer she stayed, and it was hard to get out.
She grabbed her shirt and pulled it down at the collar. It was too close to her throat. She tried to swallow. It was like her basic bodily functions stopped operating when she let herself think of Dean. Her loss took over and tried to choke her. J.J. reached out for the ice water the wait staff had brought to the table. She took a small sip.
The cool water opened her throat. She focused on the scene in front of her. A pelican swooped from a low point in the sky and plunged headfirst into the ocean.
Presumably, the bird had a fish in its beak. J.J. shifted her focus to a boat on the horizon. It was moving, but slowly. Her heartbeat slowed, too.
She got on top of her grief. That’s what she’d really done the last nine months. Get on top of the wave that wanted to drown her.
J.J. had been up and down the East Coast. She’d flown out of Detroit at the end of the summer, only a few short weeks after burying Dean.
She visited New York City, Boston, and then moved down the coast as the weather turned from fall to winter.
Dean and J.J. weren’t rich, but they did have life insurance. She always thought they had more than was necessary. Until itwasnecessary.
J.J.’s income from doing hair was their extra income. It was their vacation money. It was what they used when they needed something more. And it was what they saved for a rainy day.
It was Dean’s construction business that paid the real bills. She knew her sons were trying to run it now, but how long that would last was anyone’s guess.
The insurance payment she got was more money than she’d ever seen. For the first time in her life, she didn’t have to worry about bouncing checks. You’d think that would be amazing. But she knew that wasn’t going to last forever.
A little cash in the bank was cold comfort without Dean to laugh about it with. It turned out that being frugal wasn’t something you got over. She may be on a “Grand Grief Tour,” but she was still the J.J. who knew how to find a bargain and stretch a dollar.
On her grand tour, she’d visited Virginia, the Carolinas, Georgia, and as spring began, she made her way across Florida.
The name Haven Beach drew her.
Was she looking for a haven?
She’d been here for about a month, renting an efficient little apartment. She’d watched Spring Breakers come and go.
But it was probably time to move again. To where? She wasn’t sure. J.J. didn’t have a passport. Maybe that was next? Maybe she’d pretend she was Diane Lane and go under the Tuscan sun? But if the sun was the cure for what ailed her, it was taking its time working. Sun was in abundance here.
Her phone buzzed. J.J. had gotten into the habit of ignoring it. That was a positive development. But she was still a mom to the boys. And Jackie, her mom, was always one Pina Colada away from total chaos.
She’d visited Jackie here in Florida. She’d offered her mother the opportunity to stay in the house in Irish Hills as long as she wanted last year. But Jackie had a roaring social life at the Sunshine Vista Community. Jackie was happy at Sunshine Vista. She even had a snowbird boyfriend. God love Jackie Pawlak.
“The minute I see frost on the pumpkin, I’m out of here!” her mother said and was true to her word.
