“If I was the size now I was when I used to think I was fat twenty years ago…” Viv said. Why could women never appreciate the way they looked, in the present moment? She knew she wasn’t alone.
“Yeah, it’s warped. That’s where Siena and the rest of that generation have it right. We were brainwashed into thinking there was only one size,” Goldie said.
“Yeah, if you weren’t the shape of Cher, you were fat,” Libby agreed.
“Sickening. It messed with my head for years,” J.J. groaned. “Jackie subsisted on Tab Cola, Virginia Slims Menthol, red licorice and Dexatrim. Her four food groups.”
In truth, all five of them were different shapes and sizes. And to Viv, they were all beautiful: curves, straight edges, sags, and wrinkles.
They laughed over old stories, commiserated over needing readers, and spent the day like they had so many times before. They’d made a pact to turn off their phones and leave them in the house. It was blissful.
By four, it was past time to go inside and call it a day. Viv didn’t want it to end. But before they separated, it was Goldie who brought it out in the open.
“What gives, Viv?”
“What?”
“I know there’s something more on your mind. You’re sort of already gone. And I know for a fact from Siena that you’re healthy.”
The rest of the Sandbar Sisters dropped their various conversations, and they all floated over to the raft. They sat around Viv, and she decided to share what she knew in her heart to be true.
“I don’t want Siena to know. She’s worried enough. Tag doesn’t know, Bret, no one.”
“The fact no one but us knows that you let Randy Barton feel you up behind the grocery store is proof we can keep a secret,” J.J. said. Libby punched her in the shoulder. J.J. punched her back.
Viv laughed and remembered that little moment of teen life.
“True, so very true. Okay, so it’s back. The cancer is back.”
None of the girls said anything, but Goldie reached over and put her hand on Viv’s. The other Sandbar Sisters did the same. They all reached out in some way to each other.
“How do you know? What’s happened?” Libby asked.
“I’m in pain. The back wall of my chest, it’s just back. This is a bad sign, so soon after all my treatments.”
“Oh, honey,” Hope whispered.
“I’m going to U of M tomorrow. Tag’s doctor, actually, a fantastic woman. Anyhow, she’s going to see me to confirm. I just don’t want Siena to go or know. She’s living her dream right now, thanks to you, Libby, and I don’t want to spoil it.”
“She’d want to be there,” Goldie said.
“I know, but I don’t want her to be. This is going to go south fast. She’ll have plenty of time to be there if you know what I mean.”
The Sandbar Sisters listened to her, they offered love, and they offered Viv the space to say what she really thought.
“If anyone says you got this,” she warned, “I’ll punch them in the throat.”
“Wegot that,” J.J. said and put a protective hand over her throat.
“Now, let’s stop talking about it. Clear?”
“Clear,” her Sandbar Sisters replied in unison.
“Let’s stay out a little longer,” Viv suggested.
They all agreed.
There were rough waters ahead for Viv, but she didn’t need to speed into them. She floated calmly with her friends on the raft, and the gentle waves kept the worst of her fears at bay.
