For a moment, the sun-sprinkled lake flashed in her mind. She’d never gone back. Irish Hills was a summer vacation for her parents, and once her parents were gone, that was it. They had a house on the water here in upstate. There was no need to visit Michigan anymore.
“The app says it will take us about eight hours. Your friends are waiting.”
Viv stood up. Siena turned to go as though it was a done deal, as though there was no changing it. Viv reached out. This seemed scary all of a sudden. These were strangers other than Goldie. She didn’t have the energy for strangers.
“Honey, I don’t think I’m up to that. It was all I could do to go to L.A. I don’t have the bandwidth for a reunion or whatever.”
Siena inhaled, and Viv could see her summoning the patience required to convey her next thought. Viv’s cancer had switched their roles. Viv recalled calmly expressing life’s situations to her inquisitive little girl, and now, her daughter was the one exasperated, exhausted even.
Viv realized her battle had taken a toll on her daughter just as much as it had on her.
“Mom, you need to talk to friends. You need more than I can give you. I can’t be your sounding board.”
“Honey, you’ve been just fine. It makes no sense for me to go try to make new friends, not with the current situation.”
“You’re all clear. You need friends, plus these are old friends. They already love you. You also need some design inspiration; this will be it. You can go back to where you first learned to sketch!”
“Honey, I don’t think this is the best idea.” But Viv’s resolve was as strong as her abs these days. In other words, Jell-O.
“It is a good idea. Who knows about best? If you just open up a little to some girlfriend time and adventure, you’ll be able to put last year in perspective and maybe even find some happy.”
“I’m happy.”
“This doesn’t look like happy to me.” Siena picked up the sketchbook of black penciled scribbles.
Viv had put too much on Siena. She could see that now, maybe for the first time. She’d been focused on her own journey, her own fight, and she’d put everything else on her daughter. Siena needed a break. She needed Viv to lift the burden.
This trip wasn’t about Viv. It was about Siena, giving Siena a break.
In that light, Viv got behind the idea. A few weeks in the Irish Hills, where Siena wasn’t the sole caretaker of her mother, was a good idea.
Viv felt incredible guilt. During her treatment, she was selfish, if not outwardly, at least inside. She’d only thought of her own emotions and reactions. Viv had dragged her daughter into this health thing, her upbeat daughter. Viv didn’t want to be the cause of Siena’s tense smile anymore.
“Alright, you’re the boss, a trip to the old lake it is.” Viv put on a smile now and hoped she did a better job of making it look genuine.
“Come on, Dad and Travis are in the driveway arguing about how I packed the car. Let’s go.”
Viv took one last look at her studio view. She’d created a lot here. She’d raised Siena here. She and Bret had hammered out their spouse to friends transition here. She’d beaten cancer here, for now. She’d loved this house. But maybe it was time to say goodbye to this place, too, like everything else.
She could at least agree that it was time for a change of scenery. She’d do this for Siena. She’d put on a brave face, a smiley one, even if she didn’t feel it.
ChapterFour
Siena
Siena had never been to the Midwest. She’d grown up in New York State, and she’d vacationed on the west coast, but she’d never been to Michigan.
Siena did the driving, and her mother did a lot of sleeping. It was an eight-hour trek that Siena would have done in one go, but she worried about her mom’s stamina.
They crossed from New York to Pennsylvania, spent the night just outside of Cleveland, and then set off for the last leg.
I-90 took them all the way to Toledo, Ohio. Siena let the GPS guide her from the main highways to successively smaller state routes. Ohio-109 to Michigan-52 to US-223 to Michigan-50 to 12.
Fields and farm stands were the rule, not the exception, as they closed in on Irish Hills.
It felt like mom was somewhere else, mentally. Her mother had always been so vibrant, so present, and appreciative of the moment. But since the diagnosis, it was like she’d checked out.
Siena desperately wanted to help, wanted to make a new start with her mom. Maybe Michigan could be the change of scenery they needed.
