My vision doubles as my back slams against my car. Instinctively, I raise my fists in self-defence. Bren throws another punch, which I somehow dodge, then I surge forward, landing an upper cut to his stomach. Adrenaline floods my veins, my pulse pounding in my face. We wrestle messily, screaming obscenities until I come to the realisation that all I want is to hold him.
“Fucking stop, Bren,” I beg, voice hoarse.
We stumble away from each other, out of breath and panting. We’re no longer the teenage boys we once were, when our bodies were hardened by frequent fighting. Bren looks shocked and dazed, his eyes wide like a lost and frightened animal.
“Bren, I didn’t mean it,” I say, shaking my head. “I’m sorry. I don’t regret one single minute of time I spent with you.”
Tears well in his eyes, then he steps forward, his voice breaking. “Fuckin’ come here.”
Hands fist my shirt, and Bren pulls me to him, crashing our mouths together. My legs buckle, my body erupting with a searing heat as I open for him and he licks into my mouth. I groan, low and primal, my hands coming up to hold his face, toclaim him. The kiss is brutal, tongues and teeth, desperate and deep. I’ve waited years to have this again, and it soars beyond all expectations.
Sliding one hand down to grab his ass, I pull our bodies tight against each other. My cock throbs hard and heavy, straining against the fabric of my jeans. Bren’s erection presses teasingly against my upper thigh. I walk him backwards, pinning him against my car with all my weight, kissing over his jaw and dragging my teeth down the column of his throat. He moans, his throat vibrating against my lips. Fuck, I want him so bad. I lick and bite into the flesh of his neck, his head lolling back in invitation.
“Baby,” I sigh, before devouring his mouth once again. The wet slide of our tongues sends pleasure tumbling down my spine. Frantically, I unbuckle Bren’s belt, giving me enough space to slip my hand inside his briefs. The smooth, bare skin of his ass cheek sends me crazy, and I squeeze, revelling in the feel of the thick muscle under my palm.
Moving position, I slip one leg between Bren’s, encouraging him to rut his needy cock against my thigh. Fuck! I can’t breathe.
“Ky, please,” Bren moans against my mouth.
I slide my fingers between his ass cheeks, finding his sweet hole and stroking it softly. Jesus, I want inside him! Bren’s hand slips between us and he palms my cock through my jeans. Instantly, my balls draw up and I realise I’m frighteningly close to coming.
“Bren, baby. Let me take care of you. Let me fuck you.”
He pulls away so fast that my first thought is that we’ve been caught.
“Ky, fuck, I’m sorry. Fuck!” Bren backs further away from me. “This was a mistake. Shit, I’m sorry. You gotta go. I—I need to go.”
His eyes dart around the parking lot, disoriented. I can only stare back, confused and rooted to the spot. Suddenly he takes off, almost sprinting towards the showroom door. It takes me a second to react then I’m in pursuit. “Bren, what happened?” I yell after him. “Wait! Please, just stop.”
He enters the showroom and has it locked before I can stop him. I try the handle, the door rattling in my futile attempt to get in. “Bren! Open the door.Please, let’s just talk about it.”
Bren’s panic-stricken eyes stare back at me from the other side of the glass, then he shakes his head, receding into the shadows.
“Brendan!” I yell once more. But I know he won’t return. I know he won’t let me in.
On unsteady legs I walk back to my car, my body still tingling with the echo of arousal. My heart is full of love, but my head is riddled with fear.
Instead of going home, I drive to Jordan’s house. He’s one of my very few friends—James having alienated all the others until they drifted away. Jordan and I are gym buddies who occasionally go out for a beer. We’re not that close, but he puts up with me bitching about James and is in favour of me leaving him. So, I figure I can trust him with this.
At Jordan’s place, his wife, Ruby, hands me an ice pack for my eye along with a couple of painkillers, which helps with the thumping headache. My eye doesn’t look as bad as it feels, so that’s something. Bren went easy on me, and I know he’d never inflict a serious injury. And, let’s face it, I deserved what I got and then some.
Jordan helps me concoct a story to explain my injury and agrees to cover for me if necessary. We decide that I should tell James we went out for a beer and got into a scuffle at the bar when a guy called me a faggot. It’s believable, and, at this point, that’s all that matters. After an hour, I feel calm enough to head home, thanking Jordan and his wife on my way out.
On the drive, I finally have time to think about what happened. Despite everything, even though it’s stupid, I feel elated. I know Bren will run from me again, and it will hurt like a motherfucker, but right now nothing can take away the euphoria of kissing him and feeling how much his body still craves mine. If Bren hadn’t put a stop to it, Iwouldhave fucked him in the back of his Ute right there in the parking lot. The aching need to have him, to make him mine, is driving me to the point of insanity. I know the moment I slide into his body, he’ll come back to me. I just know it.
I don’t care about the argument anymore—most of that shit needed to be said regardless of how fucked up it was. We need to face our past and own up to all the hurtful shit we did to each other. I’m ready for it and I welcome it.
I’ll back off for a few days and wait for him to come to me. Because he will, of that I’m certain.
Opening the car window, the cool night air rushes in and sends goosebumps up my arms. I plant my foot on the accelerator and speed down the almost empty highway, my heart beating strong and heavy and determined.
Chapter 22
Brendan
Now
Shaking uncontrollably, I try to slow my breaths while blinking away my tears. The knuckles on my right hand hurt like a motherfucker—not from hitting Kyle but from the hole I punched in the wall moments before I ran out after him. Visionsof tonight begin to merge with memories of the past, ugly truths coming into clear focus.
