“Yeah. You sure it’s okay?” I ask, checking one more time.
She nods. “Yeah, I know you’ve gotta do this.”
“Thanks. If I don’t find him today, I’ll grab a cheap room to crash for a few hours and then keep looking tomorrow. But I’ll call and let you know.”
I kiss her on the cheek and then Ethan on the top of his head. I still struggle to hold him. I never wanted him or any of this.But Tiff knows the truth now. I had to tell her because I couldn’t sleep with her and my heart was shattered when Ky took off. Tiff’s been kinder to me than I deserve and all she asks is that I provide for her and Ethan. She’s willing to let me be with Ky if she’s free to do as she pleases too. It’s more than a fair deal.
I spend hours walking around the streets of Collingwood, asking random strangers if they’ve seen Ky, shoving a photo in their faces. People barely glance at it before shaking their heads and quickly walking away.
At 11:00 PM, I gather enough courage to enter the only gay club in the area. I don’t know what I’m expecting, but it’s fucking weird seeing all these fags in one room. Grinding up on each other, barely any clothes on, tongues down each other’s throats. Who would’ve thought it would be so packed. Wall to wall gays. My ass gets squeezed more than once, then my dick. It’s fucking annoying and all I want to do is find Ky.
I ask at the bar, and the man says he’s not working tonight, but he’s sure he’s seen him around.
“Might be out the back in the alley,” he says, giving me a wink. “He’s a popular boy, that one.”
Jesus fucking Christ. Nausea swirls in my gut and for a minute I think I’m going to throw up. I know Ky isn’t mine anymore, but I still can’t bear to think of him with anyone else.
Exiting the club, I make my way towards the alley that runs behind it. There was probably a back door, but I just wanted out of there. The alley is dark, but I can still easily see a guy on his knees sucking dick. Neither of them is Ky, thank God.
I walk a little further. Then an older man, maybe forty, exits from a darkened doorway, still zipping up his jeans. Stopping, I look to see who he was with, and my heart sinks. Because it’s Ky, counting money then shoving it into his pocket. He’s painfully thin, his hair long and messy, and he’s wearing tight shorts slung low, jock strap showing, and a black mesh crop top.
Time seems to stretch until he finally looks up and sees me. He blinks, as if he can’t believe his eyes, then his head drops down and he begins to walk away. “Ky,” I say, pursuing him. “Stop.Please. Ky, fucking stop!” There’s no way I’m letting him go now that I’ve finally found him.
He pivots suddenly, eyes fierce and defiant. “How’s your fuckin’ wife and baby? Shouldn’t you be home withthem?”
My anger fires instantly. Does he really think I wanted any of this? Doesn’t he realise I did it all to keep him safe from Bruce? Haven’tIsuffered enough too?
I come at him fast, pushing him backwards until I have him pinned against the brick wall of the club. “The person I should be home with isyou,” I spit out. “Why the fuck did you just leave like that? Without a word. Your brother and sisters are worried sick. And what, you’re a fuckin’ whore now?”
The moment the words are out of my mouth I regret them. Ky’s face drops, the hurt in his eyes a knife to my heart. “I’m sorry,” I say. “I came to bring you home.Pleasecome home with me.” I shove down the urge to hold him. He’s inches taller than me, but right now he appears small and childlike, fragile and lost.
When Ky speaks his voice is barely a whisper, but it’s laced with hope. “You didn’t marry her?”
“I did.” Ky’s eyes turn cold once again. “Wait. Just hear me out. Tiff knows. About me, and about you and me, and all she wants is for me to provide for her and Ethan. Other than that, we live separate lives. Sleep in separate bedrooms. We can be together. Tiff said you can live with us, and Bruce is hardly ever around. It’ll be alright.”
“Ethan?”
“My son,” I say. “He’s two months old now. You’ll love him. I know you will.”
Ky fists my T-shirt, his face softening into something warmer. But his eyes are glassy, his pupils blown wide. I don’t know what he’s on, but I hate it with every cell in my body. My mother died of an overdose, and I fucking won’t allow addiction to take Ky from this earth too.
His eyes fill with tears. “I missed you, Bren.”
“I missed you, too.” Hands cupping his face, I kiss him gently, relief flooding my body. Feeling his lips again after so long sparks me back to life, the dreaded knot inside my stomach unfurling and floating away. I’m so damn emotional I fear I might cry. “My car is only a couple of blocks away. Will you come with me?”
Ky slowly nods so I take his hand and lead us out of the alley.
Chapter 21
Kyle
Now
With the ensuite still not complete and a desperate need for a soak in the tub, I head down the hall and lock myself in the main bathroom. I’m enjoying the course, but I’m tired out from trying to get the housework done without James seeing mesince I normally do it during the day. While James is asleep, I stay up late to clean, then rise early to sneak in a load of clothes or get the ironing done. On top of that, I need time to study, which I cram in on Wednesdays and the weekends when James is playing golf. Fortunately, Lu has been a great help, pitching in whenever she can.
Turning off the taps once the bath is full, I strip and climb in, sinking down until the water laps at my chin. It’s nice to be alone with my thoughts, the steaming hot water pulling the tension from my muscles. I could try and think of other things, but I have no willpower to fight my desires tonight. “Bren, baby,” I whisper, conjuring up an image. His olive skin gleams, all sun and temptation, and those mahogany eyes—fuck, those eyes—look at me like he wants to be ruined. Like he needs it. And, in my mind, I don’t hesitate. I press him down and remind him exactly who he belongs to.
Arousal exploding, I wrap a hand around my cock, stroking lazily while gently rolling my balls with the other. I take my time, wanting to draw out the pleasure, wondering how it will feel when our lips and tongues finally meet again. Will Bren still taste as sweet as summer? Will he moan and whimper when I sink into his body and stretch him open?
