Lu’s smile drops and she frowns. “Okay…what is it?”
“I’ve enrolled in a course to update my credentials and be a paramedic again. It starts next week and runs for six weeks. I want to complete itbeforeI tell Papa. Sort of keep it as a surprise,” I say, trying to put a positive spin on it.
Lu’s eyebrows shoot up. “Okay, well, first of all, that’s good. It’s been a long time coming and you might stop being so moody and sad all the time. But let’s be honest. You’re asking me to lie to Papa because we both know he doesn’t want you to work. So how about I make you a deal? I’ll keep your secret if I can have a limo for me and all my friends for the school formal.”
“You can’t be serious,” I say, shocked anddeeplydisappointed.
Lu buckles her seatbelt. “Papa always says to leverage every situation to your advantage. Just following his advice.” She smirks at me. She actually fucking smirks.
“Yeah, but I didn’t raise you to blackmail your own family. What happened to my sweet, kind girl?”
“What happened to my sweet, kind dad?” she shoots back without missing a beat.
Jesus! I have no fucking words.
She glares at me, face full of defiance. Anger, even. It cuts deep.
Is this all my fault? Did I check out of being a father when I checked out of being a husband? Is Bren right? Am I not therefor my daughter? Yes, I drop her to school and take her to netball and dance class, cook her meals and wash her clothes. But, searching Lu’s face, the truth is there, under the anger I can see the hurt in her eyes. Have I been emotionally neglecting my child?
“Lu, you’re right,” I say, wanting to reach out and stroke her hair like I used to when she was little. “I’m gonna do better, I promise. But can you meet me halfway on this? Things need to change, and this is the first step.”
Lu stares at me for a few moments, then sighs, her face softening. “Yeah, fine, whatever. I’ll keep your secret. And you don’t have to get the limo, but can youpleaseorganise Jacqui’s mum to carpool when you’re doing your course because Amanda’s being a total bitch and I’m not talking to her right now.”
Relief washes over me. “Thank you, pumpkin. Of course I can get Jacqui’s mum to do it. Do you mind if I slip out for an hour after we get home? Then maybe later we could watch a movie, and you can tell me about what’s going on with Amanda?”
“I don’t care if you go out, I have homework to do. It’s a pass on the movie, but maybe some other time.”
I’m disappointed she doesn’t want to watch a movie with me, but what can I expect? It will take time to make amends.
I give her a smile, her ice blue eyes an exact mirror of my own. Will James fight me for custody if we split up? Would Lu want to live with me or stay with James?
They’re the questions I’ve been afraid to ask for far too long. But it’s time that I do.
Lu is busy with her homework when I slip out. On the way, I make a quick stop at a florist to buy roses; then I panic, almost returning home. I remind myself that I have a plan, and I need to stick to it. If all goes well, I’ll arrive at Beautiful Bathrooms just after closing, give Bren the flowers to thank him for our night out, then leave. Five minutes tops, no big conversation, just in and out. I can do this.
I remain seated in my car until the last employee leaves and Bren’s Ute is the only vehicle left. Once inside, I call out before I reach the office to avoid startling him like last time.
“Hey Bren, it’s just me.” I knock on the ajar door then gently push it open. Bren is seated at his desk, shaking his head. At least he’s not yelling, so that’s something.
“What the fuck are you doin’ here, Davies?” he says, slumping back in his office chair. “We had a deal.”
“We did. I’m sorry. I just wanted to give you these.” I place the bouquet down on his desk. “I wanted to thank you for the other night. It meant a lot to me, and I wanted you to know.”
Bren stands, sighing deeply before lifting his eyes to mine. I’m faced with a look of pity. It’s not a good feeling.
“Hey, I’m sorry for turning up unannounced. I won’t keep you. I’ll go.” I motion my thumb to the door behind me.
“Dan, am I interrupting?”
I pivot sharply towards the voice, knowing it’s Chris before I even set my eyes on him. He’s standing in the doorway, eyes darting between me and Bren. I panic, wondering how much he overheard. Turning back to Bren, his expression is a mix of shock, anger, and fear—his jaw locked tight, his face flushed.
“Chris, course not. We were discussin’ his reno job, but he’s leavin’ now.” Bren glares at me and I can’t imagine Chris doesn’t know there’s something weird going on.
“Oh, okay, no worries.” Stepping further into the office, Chris holds out his hand. “I’m Chris Walker, Brendan’s husband. Nice to meet you…?”
I briefly shake Chris’s hand. “I’m Kyle. Brendan is doing a great job on my reno.” I plaster on a fake smile, but Chris’s brows knit together as he gives me the once over.
“Kyle?” he says slowly, then stares pointedly at Bren. “Kyle?” he repeats.
