Me:I think you’re right. We should talk. Let’s have that beer. Monday 6pm at The Boathouse. But after that, no more contact – I need you to respect my decision on this.
Less than thirty seconds later, I receive a reply.
Kyle:You have my word. See you Monday.
I’m not one hundred percent sure I’m doing the right thing, but what I do know is that Kyle will keep turning up if I don’t take the lead on this. It gives me some sense of control, and I can check up on him too.
Pulling up Chris’s number, I tap call.
He answers on the fourth ring. “What’s up, sweetheart?”
“Hey hubby, I’m calling cos I feel bad I gotta work today. Can I take you out to dinner tonight to make up for it?”
Chris hums appreciatively. “I’d like that, Dan. You know, you haven’t been yourself this week. It would be nice to spend some quality time together.”
This is Chris’s gentle way of encouraging me to open up about what’s going on. It’s not unusual for me to pull away when I’m dealing with something, but never before has it been something that poses a threat to our relationship. Never before have I lied to him or kept secrets. This is unchartered territory for us, and it doesn’t sit well with me.
“Yeah, I’d like that too. I’ll be okay, it’s just work pressure. It’s all good.”
“Okay sweetheart, what time will you be home?”
“Maybe another hour or so. Chris, I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
Saturday night with Chris had been so good that we hadn’t made it out of bed until noon on Sunday. By the time Monday rolls around I feel in control and ready to face my past with Kyle. Being sexually attracted to the man doesn’t really mean shit since I haven’t had any feelings for him in years. Besides, I’m no longer a teenager who’s easily led by my dick. I’m a happily married man.
Yes, it's wrong to lie to Chris about what I’m doing tonight, but this will be the last time I see Kyle, and the outcome will be worth it. Closure. Chris believes I’m having a long overdue boys’ night with some of my old school mates—sharing a few beers and playing pool. But I haven’t told any of my mates what I’m really up to, so I hope I don’t get caught.
After locking the showroom, I jump into my Ute, my stomach flip-flopping with nerves. I really need to stay calm and keep it together. No letting Davies push my buttons. No angry outbursts and no sentimentality. I can do this.
Chapter 9
Kyle
17 years earlier
“Kyle, darling, buy whatever you want. If you’re happy, then I’m happy.” James gently strokes my cheek then presses his lips to mine.
When I met James at the gym six months ago, I thought we’d just go out on a few dates and that would be it. I’d only just gotten my life back on track—my mental health was finally stable, and I’d secured my dream job as a paramedic. At first it was just sexual attraction—he’s confident, mature, and yeah, he has a banging body—but now it’s turned into so much more.
He’s opened my eyes to experiences I never thought were possible for me and I couldn’t be happier with my new life of expensive restaurants, weekend getaways, and endless gifts. So happy, in fact, that I officially moved into James’s luxury city apartment just over a month ago.
The sales assistant recommends I try on the Tom Ford suit I’ve been admiring and why the hell not? If James gets a kick out of spoiling me, then who am I to say no?
“Okay,” I say, squeezing James’s hand. “I’ll try it on.”
“Perfect choice, you can wear it to the gala on Saturday night.”
“Saturday? Fuck, I thought you said it was Friday. I told Natalie I’d help her on Saturday. I gave her my word.”
James scowls as the sales assistant discreetly slips away with the suit.
“Kyle, I need you by my side at the Gala. I told you six weeks ago. Can’t you help Natalie another day? That family of yours always needs you for something. Always looking for a handout. But I need you too, darling. What will happen if we get married and have kids? Are you going to ignore our children to help one of your siblings with their endless dramas?”
My jaw drops. Married? Kids? All I’ve ever wanted was to have a family of my own. “But we’re gay,” I say, frowning in confusion. “We can’t get married.”
James flicks his hand as if shooing away a fly. “You know what I mean. Have some sort of ceremony. A wedding, even if it’s not legal. It’s the meaning behind it that matters.”
