His desperate desire to be a boy, to be Fix’s boy, was too close to the surface. And the accusation that he was bad, that heneeded correction, cut deeper than he wanted. His past mistakes with the dynamic flitted through his head like chapters in a book, their titles telling him that he asked for way too much, that he was difficult. Fix seemed like he’d give Liam everything and anything, but Liam didn’t want to risk losing him completely by asking for the impossible.
Wouldn’t just being his boy and pleasing Fix be enough?
It would have to be.
“Maybe I do need a daddy to put me in my place,” he said, hoping his voice was steady and seductive. Hoping he didn’t sound as jittery and unbalanced as he felt. “But what would he do to me if I’ve been so bad?”
He played it up for the camera, looking at it under his lashes and thumbing the edge of his top. He flashed his belly button to the viewers before letting it fall down again.
The chat was filled with suggestions of what a good daddy would do to Liam. Spank him. Punish him. Call him names. Make him crawl. Make him wait for his daddy naked at the front door. Make him stop doing his job and just please them. Have him make them come and then leave him alone to handle himself.
He read them out loud so it wasn’t just dead air, but with every new one that trickled in Liam’s stomach tightened. He didn’t want it to be like that. He didn’t want to be afraid of the person he was with.
He heard his tentative fantasy shatter inside his mind and felt himself lose a bit of the fire he had in his streams. All he could see was handprints on his skin where he didn’t want them. Rough hands holding him, making him do things he didn’t want.
He was struggling to breathe, his vision blurry, his skin clammy. The pings in the chat suddenly made him flinch, sounding like bullets aimed at him. It was all wrong and he didn’t want…
“It doesn’t have to be like that,” a familiar voice cut through the storm in his head.
A trickle of sweat ran down his spine under his glittery top as he searched the fog surrounding him and found something steady to latch on to.
Fix.
Standing in the doorway of his room, huge and filling the frame entirely, blocking the world’s access to Liam. Like an avenging angel. Like a protector.
“Fix,” he whispered.
“Don’t listen to them,” Fix said, quiet enough that Liam’s mic wouldn’t pick it up, but loud enough for Liam to hear. “A good daddy would give you everything you want, Liam. Anything you want. You’d be the one in control. You’d be the one deciding how much of yourself you’d give.”
“I…” Liam couldn’t even speak, mind reeling with Fix’s words.
The chat was still popping off. He knew he was messing up. He knew he had to do something to save it or cut it short, but he couldn’t move. All he could do was stare at Fix. Listen to his words and let them wash over him like a blanket.
Fix nodded toward his camera, blue eyes looking black in the darkness.
“Tell them,” he said softly. “Tell them they’re wrong, honey.”
“You’re wrong.” Liam spoke to the camera, a willing vessel for Fix’s words.
“Tell them your daddy would never hurt you on purpose.”
“My daddy would never hurt me on purpose,” Liam repeated, each word caressing his skin from the inside out, watching as the chat broke out in new comments. Some were arguing with him, some agreeing, some promising things Liam didn’t want them to deliver. People were starting to realize someone else was there, asking who it was.
“Tell them you’d be precious to him,” Fix whispered, regarding him with so much emotion he could hardly stand it.
“I…” These words were harder to say, the shape of them unfamiliar in his mouth. Liam wasn’t precious. He wasn’t…
“Tell them, honey,” Fix commanded.
Liam looked at the camera, unable to disobey, and took a deep breath. “I’d be precious to him.”
Fix nodded from the doorway and Liambaskedin his approval, feeling it illuminate him from the inside out with such force he was surprised he wasn’t lighting up the room like the sun. It felt like he had done everything right, like he had pleased Fix, and it made him dizzy.
“Now tell them what you want from your daddy,” Fix said, louder now, and Liam gaped at him, stomach turning. His hair was stuck to his damp neck. “I know you have fantasies stored in that beautiful head of yours. A good daddy would make sure they were all fulfilled. But you have to let him know.”
It wasn’t about the stream anymore. If it ever had been. Liam could see the fire in Fix’s eyes as he looked at him. He could feel the crackle in the air around Fix as he stood tall and imposing between Liam and everything and everyone else. That was what it felt like. Like Fix had identified all the weak and vulnerable spots that left Liam exposed and had decided to fill it with his presence.
It was heady and scary at the same time to be the object of so much attention. To be someone’s focus the way he seemed to be Fix’s.
