“It’s not a compliment!” His voice rose. “He’s controlling. He wants to dictate every part of my life. And right now, so do you.”
“God forbid someone asks you to follow through on your word. Did it ever occur to you that your father might want the best for you? That I want the best for both of us?”
“The best according to you,” he barked. “Why must I decide, right this moment, how the rest of my life will look? What if I’m happy with how things are?”
She gave him a long look. “I’m going to stop talking and let you reflect on what you just said. Maybe you’ll hear the irony. And the stupidity.”
His jaw dropped. She turned from him, climbing into the front seat to sit stiffly with her arms folded over her chest. When she fixed her gaze out the window, he plunked his hat on his head and moved into the driver’s seat.
“I don’t understand,” he muttered. “I thought today was fun. I thought you were happy.”
“It was fun. I was happy. But Emil, we can’t continue like this forever. I can’t keep sneaking around without a chaperone. Someday I’ll be caught. And then what? I’ll be ruined. I need more than fun.”
“Winnie and Mack seem content without a timer on their relationship,” he tried weakly.
She sighed, a long, weary sound that cut off his argument before it began. “I’m not like Winnie, Emil.” Her mouth twisted into a wry smile. “It’s funny. Last month, I compared myself to her and felt lacking. Now I understand we’re simply not the same.”
“I didn’t mean?—”
“Winnie is a widow, and she supports herself. She—not Mack—is the one who isn’t ready to remarry. I have my mother. My brother. The rent. My risks are greater. Especially when they involve a man who doesn’t want to marry me.”
His hand struck the steering wheel. “I never said never! Just a—a year. Maybe two.”
“I need real help, Emil. And I need it now.” Her voice was strained and soft, but unwavering. “Help that comes from a legal husband. A partner in the truest form. I thought that man was you, but it appears I was mistaken.”
“I’m not the man for you because I want to wait a while longer? That doesn’t make sense. Plenty of people wait?—”
She held up her hand. “I don’t wish to upset you. But you’re the one who opened my eyes to the truth. I do deserve more. I deserve everything. And if you can’t give it to me, then…then I’ll have to move on.”
No.
No, no, no.
Panic surged in his chest. This wasn’t how this was supposed to go. She was supposed to challenge him, maybe even pout a little, but she was supposed to negotiate. Not leave him. He licked his lips, floundering for something, for anything, that would make her stay. “This is your chance to be bold, to defy society, to live on your own terms, like me?—”
“How nice it must be,” she cut in, her words sharp, “to be a man, free of consequences, accountable to no one.” She turned, her expression flat, unreadable. “And Emil, I am saying no. To you.”
Her words were a slap. He stared, stunned, as the silence closed around them.
“I would like to go home now.”
Numbly, he slid from the auto and into the bracing cold. He wound the crank. The auto sputtered and died. He tried again. Nothing. A third time—the engine roared to life with a growl of protest. He welcomed the noise, anything to drown out the echo of her rejection.
They rode in silence. He stole glances at her profile, but she stared resolutely out the window. Her posture was still, her hands calm. As if none of this had affected her. It was maddening. How could she be so calm? So sure?
He wasn’t certain of anything.
He squinted through the windshield, his hands a vise on the steering wheel. The city lights blurred through a fine drizzle, and the streetlamps were haloed in mist.
Still she said nothing.
He pulled up in front of her building and slammed on the brake, not caring who saw them. He jumped out, circled the auto, and opened her door. She took his hand, stepped down, then let go. The only hint she felt anything at all was her unwillingness to meet his gaze.
“Please don’t do this,” he whispered. “I’m falling in love with you.”
Her breath frosted into the air. “I was falling in love with you, too.”
Then she walked away and took with her all the light in his heart.
