‘Thanks. I appreciate it. I don’t know what I did to upset you. I think that’s the hardest thing. I’ve gone over it in my mind, wondering if I did something. One minute we were getting on so well, and the next you said you wanted a break. Am I really that annoying?’
‘Oh, Abe.’ I lean over to touch his hand, but he pulls it away from me. ‘You are the least annoying man I’ve ever met. It doesn’t matter what we do, or how much time we spend together, you could never get on my nerves. I love being with you.’
‘Then why did you decide we should take a break?’
I take a sip of wine and then another. There is nothing else for it: I will have to confess.
‘You’re going to think that I am completely bonkers, but do you remember when I walked into the cafe with the paint chart?’
‘Yes, and you dropped it on the floor. You were acting weird.’
‘Yeah, it’s just that I saw you talking to Johanna. I was so excited, coming to tell you that I’d chosen the paint, and then I heard you talking to her about a date. I managed to understand what you were both saying from my limited Dutch, and then I saw you giving her your phone number.’
‘Yes, for the dog homing day. She needed to check with Famke.’
‘I get that now. I got completely the wrong end of the stick. I thought perhaps you wanted some kind of open relationship. I’m so embarrassed.’
Abe looks shocked. ‘Are you serious?’
‘Well. I mean, Johanna is a very attractive woman. I just thought you might be more interested in her than me.’
‘Why didn’t you tell me this? Why didn’t you speak to me, instead of making me think you didn’t like me?’
‘Oh, Abe. I like you more than you can ever imagine. That is why I didn’t dare bring it up. I just admitted defeat. Johanna’s younger and way cooler than me. I didn’t think I could begin to compete.’
‘Wow.’ Abe sits back and looks at me.
‘So, there you go. I’ve told you the truth.’
‘Thanks for telling me, but I just wish you’d been straight with me from the start. Maybe you need to remember to say what’s on your mind instead of making excuses.’
‘I know, but I felt stupid admitting my suspicions. I thought perhaps you assumed there were no commitments between us and that you felt we were free to see whoever we wanted. You did say right at the start that you weren’t asking me to be your steady girlfriend. So I didn’t want to demand to know who the woman was.’
‘Sandy, I’d never want to be sleeping around with other women. I can’t believe you would even think that of me. We had such a great thing, why would anyone want to spoil that?’
‘Had?’
‘Yeah. We had a brilliant thing.’
I take a big drink and ask Abe the question that is burning inside me.
‘Do you think you could forgive me for being so silly? Could we try again?’
Abe doesn’t respond immediately, and makes me wait for his reply as he slowly sips his wine. My heart is beating so fast as I wait for his answer that I fear he will see it jumping out of my chest.
‘I’d hate to lose something so good, but if we have any hope of things working out between us then you need to be more open with me,’ he says.
‘I will, I promise.’
‘If something is bugging you about me then you must tell me. Otherwise we can never know what’s wrong.’
‘Of course. I’ll never keep my fears to myself again. If I have a problem, I’ll tell you straight.’
‘Good. Then let’s start again. Come here. I’ve missed you.’ Abe pushes his chair close to mine and hugs me. I snuggle into his neck and kiss his lips.
‘Oh Abe, I’ve missed you too. I’m so sorry. I promise never to be so suspicious and silly again.’
‘It’s okay, I forgive you. Although you may have to make it up to me.’ Abe gives me one of his naughty grins, and you don’t have to be psychic to work out where he is going with this one.
