For once, I decide to take charge of everything. I have never taken the lead in anything, I have always waited for others and followed like a sheep. But with Elias, something stirs within me, and I grab his hand and lead him into the bedroom. I remove the polo shirt he is wearing, pulling it over his head, and then move my fingers to the button of his jeans. Elias’s face tells me that right now he wants this as much as I do and we sink into the depths of the double bed that I am so used to lying in alone. A summer spent like this would be the best decision in the world right now.
In the morning, Elias asks for my laptop and shows me a villa. It’s in one of the villages we drove through in the little Fiat during our travels along the coast. I look at the pictures on the internet and can’t help but contrast them with the rain lashing against the windows, despite the weather forecast having promised that a heatwave was on the way. I so want to spend the summer with Elias in this villa, with its white marble bathrooms and infinity swimming pool with views of the sea. Although, I am beginning to think that I would take a rat-infested budget hotel if it meant spending more time with Elias.
‘Look, it’s free from next Wednesday. Let’s do it,’ says Elias.
‘Oh gosh, that soon? I don’t know. I haven’t even told the girls. I mean… And then there’s Danny and James… What would they say?’
‘Well, why don’t you explain to the girls that you’re taking a summer break? Use the book as an excuse if you don’t think they’ll like the fact that I’m there.’
‘They’ll be suspicious. They watch everything. I’d never get away with it. Besides, it’s high time I told them the truth. That I want to spend every moment with you. They’re big girls, and they need to know that their mam is one too. It’s time for them to accept that I need a life outside this family, even if I will always be there for them.’
‘If you’re sure. I really don’t want to come between you. Please know that’s the last thing I’d want.’
‘Same here with your boys. But I’ve put this off for far too long. I’ve always done what everyone expects of me, and I’m not getting any younger. It’s high time I put my foot down and told them what I want. The next time they come home, I’m going to speak to them. I’m going to tell them how happy I am spending time with you.’
‘Well, be careful. I don’t want to upset them, but I’m glad to hear you’re happy spending time with me,’ says Elias.
‘I am.’ I kiss his cheek, and then he turns to face me.
‘I can just see us splashing about in that pool,’ says Elias, turning back to the computer.
‘Oh, me too. Look, there’s a barbecue area by the pool. Maybe we can use it. I miss not being able to have one here, living in an apartment.’
This summer is going to be the best one ever.
‘If Madame would like a barbecue, then that’s what she’ll be having,’ says Elias. As he grins, his eyes look so sincere. I think of Poppy’s words about Elias being dodgy and can see that she couldn’t be further from the truth. She just needs to get to know him, and so I decide to organise an impromptu lunch in Cardiff before Elias gets his connection to Manchester. Elias very much wants to put things right with her after their first disastrous meeting, although I don’t warn the girls that he is with me.
I choose one of their favourite hang-outs because I know they’ll do anything for a free lunch there.
Although, as Elias and I turn up to the loud music and funky student environment, I do wish I’d picked somewhere a little quieter. I also regret not warning them that I am with Elias. They both look horrified when I walk in and make disgusted faces at each other.
‘Mam! I thought it was a girls’ lunch,’ says Jasmine.
‘Be polite, please. This is my friend Elias. Poppy’s already met him, and I wanted you to meet him too.’
Jasmine and Poppy grunt a hello, and Elias moves closer to shake their hands.
‘Lovely to meet you. Your mum doesn’t stop talking about you both and how well you’re doing at uni.’
‘We call her Mam, not Mum,’ says Jasmine.
‘Of course. Sorry, your mam. Anyway, this looks like a lovely place. One of your favourites, your mum says. Sorry, mam says.’
I can’t look as Poppy rolls her eyes. I didn’t bring them up to be so rude to a stranger. They’re normally polite and helpful to people they don’t know. But I suppose Elias isn’t a stranger. He is someone making moves on their mother, and they are not happy about it.
‘Yes, Elias. They love it here, don’t you, girls?’
‘Yeah,’ grunts Poppy.
‘Great. So, any recommendations on the food?’ asks Elias.
‘No, not really,’ says Jasmine.
I cringe as I watch them both being difficult as Elias squirms. This is proving harder than I thought it would be.
With nothing to lose, I decide to tell them about the summer trip. After all, their reactions to us both can’t get any worse and being in a public place might be the best way to break the news. At least they can’t have a meltdown here.
I await their response when I finish telling them about the trip.
