I am apprehensive as I pull out a letter from an opened envelope in case it contains anything else unexpected. What if there is some kind of devastating secret about my own family? But as I open the envelope, I see it is a Valentine’s letter.
12 February 1994
Dearest Marek,
Happy Valentine’s my love. I wish we were together to celebrate, like I always do when it’s any occasion. I hope it’s not long until we see each other. It’s strange, but over the past week, I’ve been having the same dream over and over again. I see your face when we said goodbye as you had to travel back home. Isn’t it weird that I keep seeing the same thing over and over? Your face is crystal clear, and you look sad. In my dream, we both hold our hands out to reach each other, but somehow, no matter how far we try to stretch, our hands just won’t touch. What do you think it means? Perhaps it is just my subconscious reminding me that you’re over there and I am here.
Or perhaps it is because I am a bit worried at the moment. Elsie is in hospital, having had a stroke. The doctors think she may need full-time care now. She won’t be able to be left alone, which means I don’t know how I can escape to London if you come over. They will provide us with carers to help, but I will have to see what happens. I am trying not to worry too much. It’s all very early days.
Oh, my dear Marek. It’s as if the universe has other plans for us sometimes. Anyway, I want you to know that I love you more than life itself. Why does life have to be complicated?
Her words remind me of how I feel about Tomas. Yes, Aunt Grace, I agree. Why does life have to be so complicated? I open up the next letter that I have and look down in shock.
16 May 1994
Dearest Marek,
I hope all the family are well.
I had to write to you as I feel you’re the only one I can confide in, and I’m in a bit of a panic. You remember how I told you that I don’t like that Craig, who Olivia is seeing?
My stomach starts churning immediately. I can already tell that I am about to learn something I might not want to know.
Well, I saw him coming out of a house not far from mine. A young woman in a Chinese-style silk dressing gown was kissing him as he left! I knew I had to tell Olivia. So, I planned on telling her when we were due to meet up the following day. She rang me and said she had important news, and I was relieved. I thought perhaps she had found out for herself what a little toad he was and wanted to tell me that she had broken up with him. What could I say when, instead, she turned up, the happiest I have ever seen her, flashing a silver engagement ring!
Oh, Marek, how my heart sank. I was torn between wanting to protect her and not wanting to spoil her wonderful news. So, I kept quiet, and I know I am so wrong. I only hope that time will show her what he really is like. What would you do?
I throw the letter down on the bed in shock. Why didn’t Aunt Grace tell me? She always wanted to protect me yet let me carry on. Of course, she dropped hints, and I always knew she was no big fan of Craig, but I just didn’t pick up on it. To think Craig was already cheating when we got engaged! Would she have told me had I not broken the news of our engagement that day? I feel sick that she never told me. Why would she not protect me from making such a big mistake? Maybe my life would have been completely different had she told me the truth. But I do understand why she didn’t want to be the one to break my heart. We were always so close, and Aunt Grace only gave me happy memories, never sad ones. She always made my dreams come true, not shattered them. I thought I had already had my fair share of surprises when I received the letter from Dewi informing me of the will. This is a completely earth-shattering one that now involves me. Although, it also makes me come to terms with the fact that Craig was always a snake and so I mustn’t waste a moment of my time on my past and must only move forward from here. I could resent Aunt Grace for not telling me, but I don’t. In a really foolish way, she was trying to stop me from getting hurt, yet it was the opposite in the long term.
That’s enough for one day. I put the letters back on the dressing table and feel a mixture of emotions. On the one hand, I am happy that Aunt Grace had such a wonderful love in her life after what she must have endured with my uncle, but the feeling is mixed with sadness because I have learnt something about my love too.
Chapter Twenty-Two
The following morning, I resolve that this is a completely new start. The past is behind me, and I must take steps to live my life to the fullest.
As Christmas music blares out from the speakers at the supermarket, I sing along. It takes me by surprise how much I am starting to feel the love for Christmas tunes once again instead of desperately blocking the sound out when I hear anything remotely jolly. I have never felt more positive despite the earth-shattering revelation in the letter. I try not to think that maybe this could be because I am excited by the fact that I am about to spend the day with Tomas in his delightful company.
I pop the cleaning products I expect we will need into my basket and then drop in a chocolate snowman that has been reduced now that Christmas has passed.
I am in such positive spirits that by the time I arrive at the bar to help with the cleaning, even the thought of scrubbing the floors and dusting down the walls doesn’t faze me. Anyhow, I could probably do with having a bit of physical activity before I chomp on the snowman.
When I see Tomas, he is dressed more casually than usual and looks ready for the task at hand. As always, he gets away with whatever he wears, and his scruffy torn jeans and blue jumper look good on him. I glance at the glimpse of skin that flashes through the worn jeans and notice that he doesn’t even have knobbly knees. Oh, come on, universe! Please give me something that makes him not so blinking perfect.
Tomas puts on an Eighties Christmas CD and my heart skips a beat. Surely, he doesn’t like Eighties Christmas music too.
Even though I have a mop in my hand, I wiggle about and dance to the sound of Wham! I feel like the lady in that old Shake and Vac advert. Before long, the floor is sparkling, and it doesn’t feel as though I have been grafting for a couple of hours as I have enjoyed listening to the music so much – and sneaking a look at Tomas from time to time.
I lean against a table that is now gleaming and unrecognisable and admire how well we have transformed the bar from a few hours earlier. It could be a different place, and Tomas agrees.
‘It looks like new. What a great job we did,’ he says, looking around.
‘I know. I hope you took photos of how it looked earlier so you can look back at all you’ve achieved.’
‘Ah, I forgot as I had so much on my mind. No worries. But, you know… Now it’s done, after all that hard work, we must have some fun. How about we christen the bar?’
‘Christen the bar?’
‘Yes, with a drink.’
