‘Well, I can understand. It’s not easy coming out of a relationship, and the last thing you want is to…’ I stop before saying ‘jump into another relationship’, since this isn’t something that is necessarily on the cards.
‘I guess it’s not as easy as it sounds. I suppose I should explain. Milena and I grew up together. Our parents knew each other. In fact, she was there for me when my parents died. She held my hand at my parents’ funeral when they both died in a car accident. She made sure I ate and got out of bed for the days after. It was such a shock to lose them both at the same time. You see, Milena isn’t all bad. She helped me get through that time. That’s why I always feel indebted to her, despite everything. Then she did all of these things after we opened the cafe. I don’t know. Despite all of that I feel like I owe her because she helped after my parents died. Albert gets mad with me sometimes, but he’s a harder man than I am. He likes to say things as they are, while I perhaps, what do you say, “sugar coat” things not to upset people.’
Tomas reaches his hand across the table until he touches the tips of my fingers.
‘I don’t want to be someone who seems confused about my feelings. That would make me a terrible person. I wouldn’t treat you like that. But I didn’t expect to feel the way I do about you. When we went on the boat and the horse and carriage, I told myself I was being a good host, showing you the country I am proud of… I know that’s not true anymore. So, that’s why I have to tell you the truth. I need to sort things out with Milena properly first. That’s why, as much as I wanted to kiss you so much last night, I had to stop myself. I need to have a clear conscience that I have done nothing wrong, and I’m not giving anyone the wrong impression. I guess it’s time to stop sugar-coating things.’
I think of Craig and how he behaved. I suppose I am at least grateful for Tomas’ honesty. I also realise that we have another thing in common when faced with something we don’t want to deal with. It seems we both have a habit of trying to keep others happy at the expense of ourselves and making excuses instead of being firm.
‘Well, thank you for the explanation.’
Tomas strokes my hand.
‘Can we please be friends and stay in touch after you leave? It’s so strange, but now that we have met, I can’t imagine you not being in my life. Does that make me sound weird?’
If it does, then we are both weird because, as I accept his explanation, I realise that I feel the same, even if we only remain friends. There is definitely a connection between us, whatever it is.
‘No, it’s not weird. For sure, let’s stay friends.’
‘Definitely. We still have to get through the box of letters, and Albert isn’t going to let you get out of it that easily.’
‘It’s hard to know if he wants to hear what the letters say sometimes. I don’t know if he’s getting upset by them, and I really don’t want that, Tomas.’
‘No, I know. It’s emotional for him, of course. But, also, he kept this secret about knowing about the letters for years. I mean, he never told anyone, and deep down, he knew it was wrong and that he should have written to your aunt to tell her. He’s carried a bit of guilt with him, and now I think he feels it is closure.’
‘I’m glad of that.’
I finish off my hot chocolate and think about where I should go next. Now that I am no longer following an itinerary, I have no plans until I go to dinner this evening, but I don’t tell Tomas that.
‘By the way, I hope I didn’t ruin today’s plans for cheese shopping.’
‘No, not at all.’
‘I’m not doing anything now. Would you like me to take you to a place where I used to get the best cheeses for my business?’
‘Oh no, it’s okay. I don’t need any. I was just looking, really.’ I actually get migraines after eating cheese, so it was very unfortunate that he caught me in the doorway of a cheese shop of all places.
‘Then, may I suggest something? If you don’t think it’s forward of me?’
‘Sure.’
‘How about I take you somewhere really fun? To make up for last night? There won’t be alcohol involved, so I promise not to get carried away again.’
‘What sort of fun?’
‘Do you trust me?’
After last night, who can be sure, but being with Tomas always makes me feel adventurous and so I agree. On the condition that he doesn’t try to kiss me again. Although, as I say it, I feel regret about how we have such a wonderful connection that seems so complicated right now. But, if Tomas can put the attraction we have to one side, then I am sure I can too.
Thirty minutes later, Tomas introduces me to a fat-wheeled electric scooter called a Scrooser. With my lack of balance, I protest that I won’t be able to ride it but he assures me that it isn’t difficult. I tie my helmet on extra tightly in case I immediately fly off it and flip over the handlebars. Tomas seems to have complete faith in me, though, and as I start to move off, I wobble about until I slowly get the hang of it. For the first few minutes, I am full of apprehension, but, as we ride side by side on a quiet road, it becomes so much fun. I never thought I would ever see myself on one of these! As I let myself go and zoom around the streets of Prague, I take in more new scenery. I pass little boutiques I never noticed before, and I am tempted to stop and look at their gorgeous window displays. A bright gold sparkly bomber jacket catches my eye, and I come to a halt so that I can get a closer view.
‘It would suit you,’ says Tomas.
I shrug off his comment. It would have suited the old me, but that was the sparkly sequin-loving Olivia.
‘Go and try it on,’ pleads Tomas.
‘No. It’s not my kind of thing.’
