But before I can think any further about what I have tried so hard not to notice, Tomas moves his head away from me, and all my thoughts instantly shatter like a glittery glass Christmas bauble falling off the tree.
‘I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. I have someone I need to speak to before I can do this; her name is Milena.’
I look at him, not knowing what to say. From the little titbits I have heard between Tomas and Albert, I assumed he wasn’t seeing her, or anyone else, for that matter. I get up from the sofa, desperately trying to remember where I left my handbag. I need to leave and am furious with myself for letting my guard down like that.
I fling cushions around until I find my bag. I throw it over my shoulder as the strap slips down over and over again. I am so annoyed that I brought the posh Christmas bag out with me today. I should have used my sturdy handbag that I take everywhere. I am not the sparkly person who carries a fancy Christmas bag. Who did I think I was trying to be? Living this romantic, adventurous trip, pretending to be someone I’m not. I am no Cinderella.
‘I’m so sorry. It’s just something I need to clear up,’ Tomas shouts after me.
I don’t want to listen to his apology and walk out of the door, slamming it shut. I forget that Albert is sleeping and am sorry that I could have woken him up, but I had to get out of there quickly.
As I go out into a freezing cold Prague, I just want to get back to my hotel.
Luckily, I remember the sign for the metro close to the apartment and run towards it. I ask for information and jump on the first metro heading in the direction of the town and make my way back. It is amazing what I can do when I am desperate to get out of somewhere.
While I walk towards the hotel, my phone bleeps, and I see that it is a message from Tomas. I read what he has to say for himself.
I like you so much, but I have to sort my life out first. I’m so, sosorry.
Well, I’m sorry too. I am sorry I changed my travel plans because I was growing far too attached to a man that I obviously knew nothing about. It feels like some kind of Groundhog Day as Christmas is ruined by another man I trusted.
Chapter Eighteen
The days between Christmas and New Year are always like no man’s land, but this year is worse than ever. I have no itinerary, no plans, and I am stuck in Prague until I am due to fly home. I curse myself for getting so carried away. What a fool I am.
All I need now is for Dewi to ring. I couldn’t cope with his cheeriness as I want to curl up and hide inside my hotel room for the next few days. I feel as though everyone downstairs will be laughing at me. Do they all know that I am the idiot who fell for the chef who used to work here with the volatile girlfriend? It sounds like something from a really clichéd holiday romance. Am I that lonely to almost fall for that old trap?
To make things worse, I suddenly remember that I have a touristy medieval dinner booked for tonight. It seemed like a good idea when I was happy and relishing being a tourist, and I had the extra time after extending my stay in Prague. Now, not so much.
I ask myself where it all went wrong. Tomas was the one who kissed me, but I should have asked him straight out if he had anyone in his life, rather than allowing myself to get swept away with the idea that Milena was a thing of the past. This has happened all because I didn’t want to think about any emotional baggage he may have. I wanted to live for the moment for once – but look where it has got me.
Thankfully, I never made a move on him, despite wanting to in the horse-drawn carriage as we huddled under the blanket. I do my utmost to blame him for all of this. After all, he knew more about his situation than I did.
As I munch on my room service meal, I call the airline to change my flights. I am very happy to swap a flight home for the planned tourist excursion I have booked, so I wait patiently on hold for the airline to pick up the call. Of course, they finally answer just as I put the biggest crust of bread into my mouth. I swallow quickly and, with desperation, tell them that I want to be on the next flight out of here.
I feel sure there must be seats available as most people will have travelled by now for the Christmas break. I beg the agent for any seat she can give me.
‘I’m afraid the first date available is the second of January and you’re already booked on that one,’ explains the reservation agent.
It seems I didn’t plan for the fact that everyone is travelling back home after the holidays.
After pleading and telling her that I really must get home, I realise it is futile. Unless I am strapped on the wing, I am not going anywhere.
It is no use trying to get out of here; the truth is that I am well and truly stuck in Prague. I thought being spontaneous would be exciting and that I could be a new, less cautious version of myself. But now I realise why I always try to be so sensible. Things go wrong when you are not cautious. I am so angry with myself and wish I could get my axe right now and take all my frustrations out on the pile of logs that are waiting for me back home.
I can feel a tension headache throbbing at my temples and just want to be at home with some painkillers in my own bed. But that is impossible. The room is starting to feel suffocatingly hot, so I grab my woolly hat and prepare to go outside. I keep my head down all the way through reception, hoping that nobody I pass is any of Tomas’ contacts from when he worked here. For all I know, he may even have laughed with them about what happened last night. Why did I have to stay in the hotel he used to work in, where he knows everyone?
I walk out towards the Christmas markets despite all my festive excitement having drained away. However, I soon realise that I should have stayed hidden in my room because as soon as I get outside, I spot Tomas. What are the chances of that? Surely, he should be with Milena somewhere.
I quickly try to duck into a shop doorway, hoping that it is open and I can hide and pretend that I want to buy some of the speciality cheeses that are on display. Unfortunately, the shops haven’t yet opened, and so I stand in the doorway with nowhere to escape. I am cornered like a frightened rabbit. I try to turn my back to Tomas, but it is obvious that he has seen me.
‘Olivia, hey.’
I turn around slowly, wishing I could pull my hat over my eyes and hide.
‘Just wanted to buy some cheese.’ My neck does that thing where it reddens and goes all mottled whenever I lie, and I am thankful for my stripy rainbow scarf that hides it.
‘I’m so glad I caught you. I was coming to the hotel to speak to you. We need to sit down and talk about last night.’
