Even though Ken tries to chat with me, I don’t reciprocate. I have a feeling that he thinks I have nobody to talk to all day and that he is the only person I will see, which is true – but that is the way I choose it to be.
‘Ooh, you can feel the chill in the air. Not long until Christmas. It’s come round fast, hasn’t it?’ he says.
‘Yes, I suppose it has.’ I will be fifty-three soon, another year passed by.
‘What you doing for Christmas? Any plans yet?’ asks Ken.
‘No, nothing. Same old. Anyway, thank you for this. I’ll be seeing you then.’ I try to get away. I need to see what is inside the envelope, and besides, I am no longer the social person I was. I have nothing to say, but then, I suppose living like a hermit in a mill, I don’t have many anecdotes to share.
I tear open the envelope to find a letter and another envelope inside with Aunt Grace’s writing on it. She has written my name and I trace the letters on the envelope with my finger. It is so nice to see my Aunt Grace’s carefully crafted cursive writing again and it leaves me emotional. Still, I look at the solicitor’s letter first to see what he says.
Dear Ms Edwards,
As per your request, we are attaching the information regarding Mrs Grace Pugh’s last will and testament. We also enclose an envelope that she gave us to hand to you in the event of her death.
Please confirm that you have received and read this and how you wish to proceed.
Yours Sincerely,
Dewi Jones
Estate and Probate Solicitor
Before I look at the copy of the will, I pluck up the courage to open Aunt Grace’s letter. I want to get it over with. My emotions are running everywhere, and as I see the first words, tears come tumbling down. Until now, I have had no tears. I didn’t even cry when Craig left me or at Aunt Grace’s funeral. I tried to keep up a brave face. But now the tears are flowing. Perhaps this is a good thing, or, like some over-saturated dam, I may have burst one day.
Dearest Olivia,
My darling, darling girl, where should I start? If you’re reading this then I am afraid I am no longer with you. Please don’t be sad though. I lived to a good age, which was longer than any of my sisters managed. I hope you will be thankful for this extra time we had together.
Darling girl, whilst I wanted to write you a letter to tell you not to be sad, I have something else that I must share with you. I have a secret, and I have thought long and hard about telling you this. I was going to take it to my grave, but I have changed my mind. You must wonder what I am going on about, my darling Olivia! But I need you to do a favour for me. You are the only person in the world I could trust with this.
Do you remember my friend Silvie? Well, many years ago, not long after your Uncle Harry died, we went to see a show in London. You know how I always loved musicals! We went to see Grease and it was glorious. We had the best day, and this sounds terrible, but I had never felt so free. You see, Harry could be a bit domineering at times. Nobody knows what goes on behind closed doors – but I will leave it at that.
Anyway, Silvie and I had just left the theatre when it started tipping down! The clouds had darkened whilst we were sat inside, and, as it was July, neither of us had thought to bring an umbrella. I’d only just had a perm, and we must have looked a right sight, running down a street in London, trying to protect our blow dries with our jackets over us! But then, this absolute gentleman came out of nowhere and put an umbrella over us. I turned to look at him and, well, I had never seen anyone as handsome! He had stunning dark hair and eyes that sparkled. Please don’t think badly of me, but how I instantly wished I had met him years ago! I mean, I certainly wasn’t looking for a man to replace Harry at this stage in my life. It was time for me to be free and go to movies and shows with Silvie.
But, seeing this man, he reminded me of one of those beautiful movie stars from the sixties. I must have looked a bit odd as I couldn’t stop sneaking glances at him as we walked down the street with him carrying his umbrella and the three of us squashed under it.
Then, as we passed a coffee shop, Silvie suggested we buy him a coffee, to show our appreciation to him for saving our hairstyles. And that is how I met Marek from the Czech Republic, who I was to fall madly in love with. But then, I got scared. It was too soon after Harry’s death for me to be with someone else. The family would never have forgiven me for moving on like that. I came to my senses and thought I should be practical. When he wanted to move over to be with me in the UK, Harry’s mother, Elsie, was living with me, as she wasn’t well by then, and I had to do the right thing, didn’t I? Family must always come first.
So, I ended it so that I could care for Elsie, and he never wrote back or acknowledged anything. Along with this letter, that was the hardest thing I have ever had to write. I cried tears and smudged the ink so many times that I had to start over and over again. But I knew I had to be strong. Do you remember when Elsie died? It was practically a year to the day from when I sent that letter.
After Elsie’s funeral and everything had settled down, I decided to write to Marek and tell him that I now had a chance to enjoy my life. But, like I say, it was a year after I’d ended things. What did I expect? He never bothered replying and so I had to move on. A handsome man like that was never going to wait around. But now, I have one dying wish.
I want you to tell him in person that I have died.
You are probably wondering why you can’t just write him a letter, or find him online somewhere, like you do nowadays. But I would like you to visit him face to face in Prague. I never got to go, so my wish is for you to go and find out what Marek is like. Does he still have that thick head of hair? I have so many questions, and I know I will never have the answers, but I would like him to explain why he never replied. Even if he was hurt, he could have answered my letter when I asked for another chance – or at least told me to bugger off!
It feels like closure and then I will be at peace. I want you to tell him that he was the love of my life and I never forgot him. I am sorry if this comes as a shocking revelation, but Harry really wasn’t the man everyone thought he was.
My solicitor has Marek’s address. I have asked him to pay for the tickets and accommodation for your trip from my estate and, as I know how you procrastinate, I have told him that you must travel within one month of receiving this letter. I have left my estate to you, my gorgeous girl, apart from a little chunk to the donkey sanctuary. However, I have asked that any money is only released once you have completed this mission for me to Prague. I hope you understand.
I also leave you your favourite snow globe, which I have asked the solicitor to send you separately. It was given to me by Marek. You always loved that so much and now you know why I did too. Sometimes, receiving a gift is not about the gift itself but who has given it to you.
I love you my darling Olivia as if you were my own child. I hope that had I ever had a daughter she would have turned out just like you.
With all my eternal love,
Aunt Grace xxx
