‘Oh, no. I have to rush home.’
‘Just one drink? Surely, you can manage that?’
‘I’ve got the car.’
‘Well, have a Coke or something.’
‘No, sorry. I have to go.’
‘Oh, come on. We can have a catch-up. I’ve got so much goss to tell you.’
Paul and I used to have so much fun. He always knew everything about everyone and would fill me in on all his weekend gossip on a Monday morning after a wild weekend. I don’t know why I feel so strained talking to him now. But I suppose that was before, and now I have changed. I feel like some emotionless zombie. I would have jumped at the chance of work drinks a few years ago.
Suddenly, I feel someone grab my arm and take me by surprise. I look around to see Cheryl, who works in the back office.
‘Hey, I didn’t know you were coming with us for drinks, that’s brill.’
‘No, no. That’s not why I’m here.’
This is just my luck. Why did I pick today of all days to drop my uniform back?
‘Aww, it doesn’t matter. You’re here now. It’d be lovely to have a catch-up.’
‘Yeah, that’s what I was just saying,’ interrupts Paul.
‘Sorry, I can’t. I’ve left someone at home who isn’t very well. I’ve got to get back.’ I use the little robin, who is now perfectly fine, as an excuse to escape. Immediately, I realise that I have once again made an excuse instead of saying the truth. I should have been stronger and just said no. But at least I am pleased with myself for not going along for drinks just to keep everyone else happy and doing something I really didn’t want to.
‘What a shame. Well, please don’t be a stranger. Let’s arrange a night out soon, yeah? Paul can tell you all about his latest dating escapade. I promise you’ll die laughing.’
Paul giggles beside Cheryl. ‘You will die. It could only happen to me.’
Even though I am very fond of them all, I smile and get away from them before they try to persuade me to name a date. They will have their own fun and certainly don’t need me. Paul always did know how to spin a yarn in the pub when we went for after-work drinks once a month. I start to remember how much I truly enjoyed those evenings. But it’s fine. I have the mill and that’s where I want to be. My onesie is beckoning me.
When I get home thirty minutes later, I get changed into my lovely cosy onesie and think about the wonderful time all my ex-colleagues will be having right now and wonder why I was so scared of joining them. The fact is that there most certainly isn’t anything waiting for me at home; even little robin seems to have gone wandering about, and I would quite welcome his stalking right now. I walk around the room, considering what I can do with myself and then see Aunt Grace’s snow globe. I give it a little shake and watch as Prague Castle disappears under the flakes of snow.
As I think about heading out to the garden to check how frozen over the pond is, the house phone rings. It can only be Dewi as I have done everything Charlotte needed.
As usual, I answer the phone holding it far away from me, scared of what is on the other side.
‘Ms Edwards, it’s Dewi.’
‘Hello, I thought it was you. You’re the only one who rings me.’
‘See, now that is exactly why you need to go to Prague.’
I ignore his remark.
‘Now, I’m just checking you’re all organised. Anything you need from me?’
‘I still haven’t made my mind up. I haven’t confirmed I am going.’ I feel pleased with myself for saying what I really think.
‘If you don’t go, I will personally hold your hand and take you myself. I might even be able to put it down as a business trip.’ Dewi laughs down the phone while I stand there horrified. Does he really think I need someone to hold my hand? I am highly independent!
‘Alright, I’ll go. Anything to stop you going on at me.’
‘Aww, don’t be like that. It’s for your own good. I promise. It’s what your lovely aunt wanted for you. She was always right, don’t you think?’
I think of Aunt Grace warmly. She was indeed always right and could work people out immediately. She seemed to have a knack for it. She never liked Craig; I could see it in her eyes, even if she wasn’t particularly vocal to me about it.
