I leaned forward and rested my elbows on my desk.
“Most of the people that I put in those cells…down to some of the women that I end up fucking…I forget their faces soon as I leave their presence. No attachment. You out of all people know how easy it is for me to detach myself, Tone…But Mira?” I narrowed my eyes letting the memory of her from when I first saw her at the club take shape in my mind.
“I remember the first time I saw her playing at the club weeks ago…. the first day I saw her, I left the club soon as I felt a sudden shift inside of me. I told myself that I would just have you and Dre go and collect my debt from the owner and never return before I did something stupid like snatch her ass up without a reasonable reason.” I sighed roughly.
I clenched my fist then locked eyes with Josie.
“So, what is it really about her?” Tone cut into my silent communication with Josie.
Josie’s head moved mechanically toward Tone; she tilted her head then ruffled her feathers.
“Be good Josie.” I chuckled the words out because if I didn’t Josie would have no problem digging her sharp claws into Tone’s shoulder.
“Yesterday, when I showed Mira all of Grand Corp…. she looked at my creation like it was something out of a dream. She saw the purpose in it. I know that she would never make me choose between her and what I love to do the most… create to save. Although she’s against me forcing people to do it, she loves what I do. I showed her my lab, inside of there she called me The Fairy Godfather of Crackheads.” I laughed again and stopped when I realized that it wasn’t just one of my chuckles.
It was my real laugh which sounded foreign to my own ears. Tone and Staress looked at me with wide eyes, they observed me as Josies feathers ruffled.
“She’s bold, outspoken, and smart. She won’t fear me after a while…and to be honest…that turns me on even more. When I saw her at the club, she played that violin like the world wasn’t even there…for a second, I forgot about everything else. I didn’t hear the noise of the club; I forgot about the territories that I still need to conquer… She made me feel peace…And I decided right then and there that I wanted the peace she made me feel. I wanted that shit so bad…I started building excuses to take her. Then I saw the glossy look in her eyes… and knew right away that she was on a substance trying to drown her pain out…it was the same look my momma used to have whenever Pops did her wrong. Momma used to storm around the house pissed off and cursing. Hours later, she’d get high and forget about the pain.” I sighed.
The thought of my mom and how she transformed over night off of drugs crushed me. It always took me to a small part of my childhood that I wished I could rewind and change.
“What about you falling in love so fast with her?” Staress broke the silence.
“I won’t fall in love unless I own her first.” I smiled at Staress with no warmth in my smile.
“Own?” She frowned.
“Yes.” I slammed my hand on the top of my desk, growing agitated with all the unnecessary questions when I painted a vivid picture with words for the both of them to understand my line of thinking.
“Love without ownership, is weakness. I won’t give a person the power to take pieces of me and walk away whenever they feel like it. I’ve seen it at a young age and learned from it. I refuse to let it happen again. So, if I love, it’s because they’re already mine, and they know that they can’t fucking leave.” I spoke with finality in my tone.
LOVE, TO ME, ISN’T SOMETHING YOU FALL INTO. LOVE TO ME, IS WHAT YOU OWN.
I wokeup from the kind of nap that pulled you under so deep that you forget what day it was. I slept good for the first time and a long time. The first thing I saw when I opened my eyes wasn’t the ceiling or the wall.
It was eyes. Pitch black unblinking big eyes that horrified me.
I gasped and jerked my body upright making the entire bed shift and scrape against the floor. Josie was on the nightstand perched staring at me in perfect stillness. She had specks of blood on her white fur; I looked down at her claws and saw more blood that stained the nightstand. Her head tilted everso slightly, the motion was slow and deliberate like she was accessing me.
“Jesus Christ! You scared the hell out of me.” I pressed my hand to my chest. I took in deep breaths then tried to relax myself.
The obvious specks of blood bothered me; I stopped myself from actually asking the damn owl where it came from and whose blood did it belong to.
My stomach twisted viciously as I thought back to Josie digging her sharp claws into my shoulder drawing blood as Grand stomped the life out of Darius. This owl was just as evil as its damn owner. I looked away from her hesitantly not wanting to challenge the animal with staring.
I inhaled the smell of lavender lotion that still clung to my skin from the pedicure and manicure that I received this morning. I looked down at my oval shaped nude nails and smiled, my feet matched. It was long overdue to get them done. My feet felt soft and smooth, the coat shined like somebody dipped them in oil.
The two ladies that came in to work on my feet and nails did a wonderful job. They massaged me thoroughly until I felt my muscles loosen. By the time they finished, I thanked them then laid right back down in my bed and fell asleep. The whole experience felt unreal, down to me watching the ladies set up the perfect area with their equipment.
“So, I guess you’re here to spy on me.” I muttered, my stomach growled loudly then it dawned on me that I hadn’t eaten at all today.
Josie didn’t blink, nor move her head from its tilted position which creeped me out more.
“Figures.” I shook my head.
He can at least put a clock inside of this room, so I can keep up with the damn time!I thought to myself.
“Make sure you tell his fine black ass thank you for my nails and feet, and I would like if?—”
